Kill My Mind || DOLLHOUSE Spin-off

35. Alejandro

I was sitting in the kitchen in silence. Gray was leaning against the counter looking at me and Nick, who were both on chairs lined up on the other side of the counter. I couldn't believe my eyes. I wasn't looking at him, I was looking down at my trembling hands but I knew he was facing me. When I saw him at the door he pushed past Gray and swallowed me in a hug. Tears filled my eyes and I silently hugged him back with so much strength. Gray didn't break the hug but I had seen the fear in his eyes. After the  minute long hug broke I asked him to come in and now we were in the kitchen.

"I missed you so much." he said, breaking the silence. I still couldn't look up

"H-how are you alive?" My voice was trembling. I felt Gray walk up behind me and place a loving hand on my shoulder

"And why are you here?" I hated the tone he used when he was speaking to Nick but I couldn't blame him. My first love was standing in front of me with lust in his eyes.

"Love, can you go clean up the glass for me." I saw his jaw clench but he nodded, kissed my cheek and went to do it anyway

"You're seeing someone. If only your dad knew it was a guy" Nick said "God he was not happy last time that happened"

"Nick. How are you alive?" I repeated "I watched you die"

"But you didn't Ale. Don't you remember that day."

"Remember it? I live it every time I fall asleep" I finally looked at him. My heart pounded. He was still so perfect. He looked the same except some facial hair and a scar on his neck. I saw Gray looking hopelessly into the kitchen

"Ale you looked away the whole time." Thinking about it, I did do that. My dad called me a coward because of it for years and I was almost kicked out. "When you started to cut my neck you weren't cutting me deep enough. Your dad placed a hand over my mouth to shut me up." his voice shook "He then hurried you out of the room. You never fully cut my neck you had to have known that"

"I- h-he said I killed you. I ended your life'' I started crying. He's been alive the whole time. I thought I killed the love of my life. My dad told me I killed the love of my life and the whole time he was alive

"I know. When you left the room he held a cloth to my neck and put pressure on the wound so I wouldn't bleed out. He gave me an ultimatum. Either I could take 100 thousand dollars and run. Never speak to you again, never go looking for you and never let you know I was alive or he could send my parents my head in a box."

"Why didn't he kill you?" I felt bad asking but my dad never let people he tortured live.

"Because I had done nothing wrong but love you. He explained to me what your family was...what they did. He told me he only killed the people that stood in his way and I wasn't one of those people."He took my hand in his "He got me stitched up after that and I ran. I went off to Yale with the money he gave me and I never came back. When I heard he had died I wanted to come right away but I was scared you wouldn't want to see me."

"So why come now?"

"My mom passed last week. I was going to be back for her funeral anyway. I knew it was time but if i knew you were seeing someone I wouldn't have come." he looked back at gray who was trying not to look nosy. I knew he was listening. "I shouldn't have come, I'm sorry" he stood up but I grabbed his wrist. He jumped a little and I immediately dropped it

"Please stay. I-i just got you back Nick. I never thought I'd see you again. Please don't leave." I had tears running down my cheeks and so did nick. "I missed you so much" I pulled him into me. He even smelled the same. His hands started to run through my hair

I heard Gray cough, we broke the hug and I turned "So um. Is he staying with us?"

"Well with me but um." I looked back at Nick "Are you?"

"I don't think it's a good idea. I'm staying in town though." he grabbed my hand this thumb brushed over my fingers "I don't want to leave you again either"

"You should go." Gray said

"What no. Gray, he just got here." I protested

"Your boyfriend's right. It's late and this was a lot for you to handle. Let me give you my number and we can talk again" he added his contact into my phone and I walked him to the door. "It was good seeing you ale."

I smiled finally "I just can't believe you're here. I can't believe you're not as freaked out as I am" we both chuckled

"Because I knew I wasn't dead and to be honest...i've kept up with you for years." he leaned into me to whisper "I never could get over being in love with you ale." I gulped "goodnight. I'll see you soon"

"I'll see you soon." I closed the door and turned to see gray waiting for me.

He came over to give me a hug "Are you okay baby?"

"No" i hugged him back tight taking a deep breath letting him know i found comfort in him

"What did he say to you before he left?"

"Nothing important"

"He shouldn't have just showed up like this," Gray said as he walked back to the kitchen. "Real asshole move to come out of the blue." Hearing him say that made me angry. I didn't know why. What the fuck else was he supposed to do give me a call and say he was back from the dead.

"Gray, I didn't like the way you spoke to him." i said angrily but i wasn't yelling...yet

"Oh come on ale he was all over you. I was just trying to show off you're mine."

"Gray my best friend came back from the dead after I thought I killed him" now i was yelling "He had every right to be hugging me "

"Okay but all the hand holding was unnecessary? It was like he thought he was still your boyfriend"

I just couldn't believe how he was acting right now. This doesn't happen to people everyday the interaction was as normal as something like this can be "Are you fucking serious right now Gray? You know what he meant to me. The least you could have done was given us five fucking minutes to talk instead of just standing there listening. He left so quickly because he was uncomfortable with you."

"Ale don't get an attitude with me. I understand this means a lot to you and it's life changing but you're still my fucking boyfriend and that guy used to be the person you love so sorry if i got a little fucking jealous okay" he was yelling too

"Get the fuck out"

"Oh you can't be serious"

"You'll never fucking understand what happened to me after he "died" Gray. To act like you own me or something is not what you should have done. You should have been the one to leave, not him. You're my boyfriend and I care about you. He's not my fucking boyfriend and he wont be because i'm happy with you but he means the world to me so to get upset with me for it is fucked."

"He means the world to you?" he wasn't yelling. It was silent for a moment

"I'll call you tomorrow, just go Gray." I wasn't yelling. We sat in silence as he grabbed his jacket and keys. He pushed past me and I heard the door open and close.

I grabbed onto the edge of the back of the couch as I fell down to the floor crying. I broke. I just fucking broke the same way i did when i thought Nick died. My heart raced and my hands shook how they do when I wake up from a nightmare.

Nick was back and I couldn't comprehend it. I couldn't comprehend how i felt about him. And what he said before he left. I just felt fucking sick. To not have Gray by my side right now felt even worse. I know I was the one who kicked him out but I truly couldn't deal with him being upset at me for this.

I pulled my phone out and called the one person I knew would know how to help me. "Bella come home right now...p-please"