K-Pop Boygroup Oneshots

🖤(&TEAM) Taki- Nightmares of the past

REQUEST BY: OliviaReason

TRIGGER WARNING: Anxiety, nightmares, insomnia, I-LAND (lol)

Taki's smile lit up any room he walked into. His energy was infectious, his laugh could heal the deepest wounds, brighten the dreariest of days.

He was &Team's precious gem, someone who kept the team together.

Behind that smile however, a darkness dwelled, slowly eating away at taki from the inside out. A darkness he didnt allow anyone to see.

Once taki's bedroom door closed, his smile fell, his cheeks sore from forcing it for so long. His lights stayed off, his body stiff and tired. He'd crawl into bed but rarely slept, his mind too loud for rest to come easily.

He laid on his bed, just staring up at the dark ceiling. He never found the courage to discuss what he dealt with, he couldn't. He couldn't burden his members with the dark side of him. The last thing he wanted was to worry them, to cause any sort of distraction.

But even with his facade, even with the smiles, the laughter, sometimes the storm would cause cracks, small windows into the pain in taki's heart that the oldest could sometimes see through.

K was unnaturally attached to taki, ever since taki was young, he felt a responsibility towards him. The members and fans joked that Taki was K's son, but truthfully, K would do anything for Taki, anything to keep that precious smile on his face.

When he noticed Taki's mask slipping, he paid close attention, watching him closely as if he let him out of his sight, he would disappear entirely.

Taki never said a word though, never reached out for help, never let himself break.

Taki couldn't remember when the insomnia started. He couldn't remember the last time he felt rested, the last time he had a peaceful dream.

The bad thoughts were constant, doubt, fear, anxiety, thoughts that clawed at Taki's soul, words that screamed in his ears, drowning out all other sounds.

"You're not good enough. You've never been good enough, Riki."

"Nobody believes in you. You have no talent, nothing special about you."

"You're members pity you, you're pathetic."

In the silence of his room there was nothing to distract him, nothing to keep him from spiraling, from drifting into that dark place.

When he managed to sleep, his mind was plagued with nightmares, his deepest fears, his biggest insecurities were so much more vivid in his subconscious, when he had no control, no way to stop the storm.

Eventually the physical toll on Taki's body couldn't go unnoticed anymore. The bags under his eyes got darker by the day, the tenseness in his smile causing his skin to wrinkle, that brightness dulled to a melancholy gray.

K was the first to say something.

He approached the younger after practice one day, making sure the other boys were already gone.

"Taki-kun." The eldest's voice was gentle.

Taki smiled.

"Yeah hyung?"

"Are you doing okay?" K's soft eyes scanned taki's face, the tenseness in his expression made him anxious.

"Yeah! Of course hyung!" The enthusiasm was forced. A look of suffering behind his eyes, a tremble in his hands, almost imperceptible, almost.