Caius's Mate

Seventy

"Peter," I said breathlessly. 

He nodded and reached out and wrapped his arms around me, "Did you have a nightmare?" he asked running his fingers through my hair. 

"No," I shook my head, "I... I wasn't asleep... he was right here... beside me... he was right there Caius. I could feel his touch. I felt everything. He was here. In this room. Just moments ago. He was right here," I looked up at Caius. 

"It was just a dream Izzy," Caius touched my cheek, concern on his face. 

"No, it wasn't Caius. He was right here. I could feel his touch. I wasn't asleep," I repeated myself. 

"Okay, okay," he said calmly, "I am going to call Carlisle," he said, "It could be a hallucination?" he tried to suggest. It was not helping my panic. 

"No, Caius, it was real," I said slowly, "I don't need a freaking doctor!" I finally lost it and yelled at him. 

"Are you taking your medication?" he asked taking both of my hands. 

"For Christ sakes, yes I am," I glared, now pissed. 

"Hey, hey, okay, okay," he said, "Let's take some anxiety medication. I am going to call him."

"No!" I yelled pushing him away, standing, beginning to pace back and forth. I was becoming frustrated, "I don't need a doctor. He was right here," I paused, "he was right here... in this room... next to me. I felt all his touches. It was real, it had to be real. I am not crazy," I shook my head. 

"Love, I never said you were crazy. I just want him to check out your head. That's it," he stood in front of me stopping me from pacing, "Let's go for a walk. There is a forest trail not far from here,"

"Exercise doesn't do shit Caius," he said. 

"Izzy," he paused, "stop twisting my words," he paused again, still calm, "I am just trying to help distract you. Let's just go outside for a moment."

I looked down. I wiped my tears, "Okay," I whispered. 

He pulled me into a hug, "I am going to be here to help you through this," he whispered in my ear. 

"I'm not crazy," I whispered. 

"I know you aren't," he paused, "I am still going to call Carlisle. J-"

"No Caius, don't," I let out a puff of air, "I don't need him," I cut him off

He sighed, "Izzy, will you let me finish?" 

I nodded and looked down, "Sorry," I whispered. 

"I'm calling Carlisle, for your head... I just want to make sure that nothing is wrong neurologically," he said. 

I was extremely frustrated at this point, "Whatever," Then I grabbed my jacket, "Okay, let's go outside then." as on que, Jane showed up.

"Babysitting duty?" she asked. 

I nodded, "yes," I tried to give a fake smile, but she saw right through it. 

"What's wrong?" she asked. 

"I just don't feel good," I sighed and shrugged, "Caius and I are going on a walk."

She nodded. I saw Caius out of the corner of my eye, shake his head. I rolled my eyes and walked out of the room.

He quickly caught up with me. 

I began to walk to the exit of the building, but he guided me to another area. The garage, "I thought we were going outside?" I asked taken off guard.

"We are. We are just driving there," he said and opened the passenger side of the car.

"Thank you," I whispered, "I'm sorry for lashing out at you," I whispered after a moment. 

"It's okay," he squeezed my hand. 

"I just don't feel good," I looked at him.

"I know honey," he said and began to drive. 

I didn't talk I just rested my cheek against the window. 

'Talk to him' I heard a voice call. It was Peter. 

What is going on? Izzy, he is dead. This isn't real. Maybe something is wrong with my head? "I don't know what is going on," I whispered. 

"What do you mean?" he asked. 

"Nothing," I whispered. 

'Izzy, talk to him,' the voice called again. Once again, it was Peter's voice. 

I took a deep breath and stayed quiet. I don't even know how long we were driving for. Eventually, the car began to slow, and it came to a stop. 

"Talk to me, please," he said once he helped me out of the car. We began to walk along a trail in a wooded area.

He gripped onto my hand, "What happened this morning?" he asked. 

I looked up at him for brief moment, then looked down, "I don't know Caius. You left and then I laid back down and I felt an arm around me. It was warm. I could feel it. It was his arm. I would know it from anywhere. Peter, he was lying next to me. He was right there Caius, really, he was right there. I felt his touch. I felt his kiss. I felt the warmth of him. I felt him," I kept my eyes down, "I just don't understand. I know he is gone. But he was there. He was there. He was," I began to repeat myself. I felt my breath hitch. 

"Hey, hey, breathe," 

I inhaled sharply, "He was there," I said slowly focusing on my breath. I was able to slow my breathing and now I was breathing at a normal pace. 

"Are you sure you didn't fall back asleep?" he asked. 

"No... I am sure I didn't. I remember you leaving and then I laid down and closed my eyes then I felt an arm around me. Then I opened my eyes, and he was there. He said he was real. He said he was real Caius. I swear to God I am not making this up. He said he was real. He touched chest. I felt his hand over my heart. He said that he would always be here when I needed it, even if I couldn't see him," I stopped walking and looked up at him. "I swear he was there," I shook my head and took another deep breath, "I sound crazy," I said. 

"It could be grief, Izzy. You have been through a lot in such a short time," he said. 

I nodded. Deep down I knew it was something more, but I did not speak on it anymore. I didn't want to sound even crazier. "When we were in the car, I heard his voice again. I head it clearly," I said letting out a shaky breath. 

"What did he say?" Caius asked. 

"He told me to talk to you," I inhaled sharply. 

He nodded.

"What is going on with me?" I asked. 

"I don't know. I promise, we will figure this out," he said. 

"Promise?" I looked up at him. 

"I promise. We will figure this out together," he embraced me in a hug. "Thank you for not shutting me out," he whispered in my ear. 

I nodded and a tear slipped out of my right eye. It rolled down my cheek. Caius wiped it with his thumb, "Please don't cry my love," 

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against his chest. I listened to his breathing which usually calmed me down. I closed my eyes and focused on my own breathing. 

"I love you Izzy," he kissed the top of my forehead. 

"I love you Caius," I whispered and then looked up at him.