Jug and Finesse

Trescend

Shantii 

When I fell asleep, images of the three men I killed filled my dreams. I opened my eyes warily and looked at the clock, 3 A.M. I couldn't sleep. I turned around slowly in Jaylon's arms, careful to not wake him, and faced him. I stared down at his lips and pecked them before trying to fall asleep again. It only took me a second to realize that wouldn't work either.

I slid off of the bed and headed down the steps. I walked into the kitchen, turned the lights on and hopped on the counter to think. As much as I tried to persuade myself to believe I wasn't, the truth was evident.

I am a murderer.

Though I had good reason to, how can anyone truly defend taking someone's life. At the time it was adrenaline, but in the end, those were someone's son. I folded my knees up to my chest. More than anything, I pray that this all blows over. I can't afford to go to jail. I felt like I was stressing entirely too much on this, but then again was I?

I mean I just pulled a trigger on someone. This wasn't practice, this wasn't a trial - this was real life.

Forget it, I willed my brain to do. I took comfort in knowing that Jaylon would take care of it, but it wasn't enough. I headed back upstairs and turned the light on in my room. I pulled the covers over Jaylon's head so the light wouldn't wake him. I dug in my dresser, searching for a bottle of sleeping pills.

When I came up empty, I looked down and found Jaylon's bag unzipped. I bent over so I could zip it back up but instead, found a fat blunt sticking out of the side of it, filled to the brim with weed. I knew he smoked, but this much? A small nagging thought reminded me how much I wanted to relax. I knew whenever he smoked, he really just mellowed out and that's how I wanted to be. All of this overthinking was not the move.

So without any second thoughts, I grabbed it and headed to the bathroom. Locking the door behind me, I sat on the toilet seat and rolled the blunt back and forth between my fingertips before finding my lighter and lighting the tip of it. I, personally, never smoked before. I've watched Jaylon before and he did it so effortlessly, it couldn't be that hard.

 I placed the blunt between my lips and took a long drag before attempting to blow the smoke out. My eyes watered almost instantly and I began coughing as the smoke filled my lungs. I took a few minutes, contemplating whether I should try again or not. I placed it between my lips a second time and took a shorter drag.

Slowly, after a couple of drags I felt my body beginning to relax. By the time the blunt was only a shrub, my eyes were hazy. Most importantly, I was tired, horny and numb. Murder was the farthest thing on my mind. I threw the blunt into the toilet, flushed and exited the bathroom.

I headed back to the room and turned the lights off. I slid into the bed and hopped on top of him. My fingers rubbed his scalp while I kissed his lips. He woke up and stared at me, "Shantii, what the hell.." he rubbed his eyes and looked at the clock. I started rubbing on his little man and he groaned. "Shantii it's mad early," he tried to get me off but I ignored him and continued to gyrate my hips on his Jr. 

"Baby I'm tired," he said. I rolled my eyes and got off of him. He turned around and stared at me but I only grabbed some covers and faced away from him. He moved his arms up and hugged me, I rolled my eyes and pushed him back. "Babe why you smell like weed?" he sat upright. I bit my finger and didn't answer. "That's why you so horny?" he asked, rubbing on my thighs. I stifled a moan.

"If you're worried about earlier, you're stressing for nothing. Them niggas was pronounced dead years ago, they fooled the system into thinking they were dead but they really been laying low. By you actually killing them, you saved lives. They are ruthless and merciless, they would've did much worse to people but you stopped all of that," he grabbed my hips and lifted me up so I was sitting on his lap. I felt better after hearing the story, but right now, I was too horny to listen to anything else.