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Taehyung woke up in the middle of the night

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Taehyung woke up in the middle of the night. He doesn't remember when he fell asleep, only that his last memory was his mother's hand caressing through his hair as he rested his head on her lap and his father's words playing in his mind.

He got out of bed and walked towards the balcony, the cool night brushing against his skin. He clutched the railing as he stared at the silent city and exhaled slowly.

The uneasiness in his heart slowly surfaced into something clearer. It wasn't just the sadness or feeling bad for rejecting him, but the guilt. The guilt of how he chose to do it.

It was so thick and suffocating. He knew he should push away Jungkook to protect him, but at what cost? He used the very things Jungkook was insecure about. He deliberately berated him and his character just to push him away.

Tears welled in his eyes as he recalled all he had spewed. He was the one who told Jungkook he was enough. That he was more than good... that he believed in him, and the other person would be luckiest, and he took it back with every cruel thing he said.

"I had no right..." He whispered, closing his eyes as more tears rolled down his cheeks. "No right to make him feel like that. It was my problem. The problem was with me... Just because I don't know how to live with my scars--"

He cupped his mouth before sobbing his heart out, hating himself more than ever. At one point, he even felt like he deserved what all happened to him in the past.

He needs to talk to Jungkook. He needs to look in the eye and apologize that he didn't mean a single word, that he was the problem, and that whatever happened shouldn't have happened at all. Like Jungkook said, they'd start afresh but only after Taehyung begs him for forgiveness.

.

Jungkook snapped his eyes open in alarm and immediately looked at the time. He let out a sigh of relief when he realized it was too early. And suddenly, his body protested. He felt his head pounding and his mouth dry. Last night was blurry, but at least the alcohol did its job. He got what he wanted.

He sat up, clutching his temples, before he stumbled out of bed. He needed a cold shower. He needed all the puffiness gone. All the proofs of the fact that he was drunk. He knew if Taehyung knew, he'd blame himself, and he couldn't let that happen.

By the time Taehyung showed up, Jungkook was dressed and seated quietly at the table, sipping on his coffee.

"Oh, you are up early?" Taehyung said, trying to sound as normal as he could, and Jungkook smiled, shrugging his shoulders.

The ride to the campus was silent, a little awkward even. Taehyung was dying to talk, to apologize, but he didn't know how to start, and he knew he had to.

They arrived, and it was time for their class. Jungkook looked at the time and back at Taehyung. "I'll meet you at lunch. I'll head to the class now—"

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