My Enigma

Chapter Thirty-Two

LUKES POV

The morning sun poured through the windows of Gabe's house like it had no idea how messed up I felt inside.

I leaned against the doorframe in the hallway, watching Aurora laugh at something Hanna said in the kitchen. Her smile wasn't aimed at me. It hadn't been for a while now. And it burned. God, it burned more than I had expected.

Seeing her like this was weird: casual in one of Hanna's oversized sweatshirts, her hair up in that messy bun she wore when she didn't care. She looked like herself—the girl I had held in my arms in a haze of grief and weed. The girl I ran from the second I realized she meant something.

And now? Now she was acting like I didn't even exist.

I hadn't expected her to be cold when I saw her again. I didn't think she'd completely ice me out. But that's exactly what she'd done since the sleepover started—bare minimum eye contact. One-word replies. Walking right past me like we hadn't had moments.

I deserved it. I knew that, but damn it, it fucking sucked.

Everyone was getting ready to leave. Gabe was stuffing snacks into paper bags for the road. Hanna was on speaker phone with her mom, telling her she'd be home in an hour or two. Connor was, of course, hovering somewhere near Aurora, making her laugh again.

My stomach twisted.

I had to look away the second he handed her a drink, and their hands brushed. I hated how easily he made it seem like he had all the time in the world to win her over, while I had already blown every chance I had.

The moment I caught her stepping away from the group to head toward the guest bathroom, I made my move. Casual. Quiet. It was almost like it wasn't eating me alive.

I waited until she came back, slipped past me in the hallway, and headed towards the porch, alone.

This was the first time she was alone, and this seemed like the perfect time to try to talk to her again. Wish me luck.

I made my way to the porch and found her sitting on the top staircase, knees to her chest. I did not want it to seem like I was invading her space, so I asked her for permission to sit with her. After she saw the rolled blunt in my hand, she said I could join her.

We sat in silence, passing the blunt back and forth until it was over, and I just could not take being this close to her and not being able to tell her how I feel. The silence was killing me because that's all I had been getting from her.

Fuck, is this what she felt when I had ghosted her?

I missed her talking my ears off.

"Aurora," I said, voice low.

She turned to look at me, her eyes meeting mine. "Yeah?"

I cleared my throat. "Can we... talk?"

She turned slightly, brows raised. "I thought we weren't talking anymore."

Ouch.

I moved closer to her, lowering my voice. "Please. Just a few minutes."

She stared at me like she was trying to decide whether I was worth the breath it would take to argue. Then finally, with a sigh, she nodded once. "Fine."

"I miss you," I said quietly.

She didn't react right away. She broke eye contact and looked away. Finally, she said, "You have a funny way of showing it."

"I know."

"I mean, what was that?" she said, finally turning to look at me. "One minute you're sharing all this stuff with me: telling me secrets, holding me like you actually meant it. Then the next, you're just... gone. Not even a 'hey.' Nothing. Oh and then there is the ignoring."