Chasing Happiness: Volume 2: Yours Always (Criminal Minds: Spencer Reid Fanfic)

Part 22

"What are you doing?" I shout as I watched Alan rolls his latest victim out of the plastic cover and out of the trunk before throwing her over his shoulder.

"Get in the car!" Alan shouts his order at me as I look on at him walking with the dead girl over his shoulder.

"Alan please, what are you doing." I beg as he opens the bin and places the girl into it.

"I told you to get in the car." Alan shouts at me making me jump. I don't want to anger him any more so I slowly get into the car.

As soon as I am in the car Alan takes off speeding down the road. "Where does that little creep live?"

"What?"

"Spencer, that creep, where does he live?" Alan shouts his question, thoughts race through my mind as I try to come up with ideas as to what Alan wanted with Spencer, none of them were good. "Where does he live?!"

"I... I don't know, I've never been to his place." I panic as he shouts so I lie again.

"Ok then, we're gonna have to come up with another way to get him."

The look in Alan's eyes as he plans frightens me as I run through different ways this could turn out, hoping to figure out a way for this all to end well.

***

I put the sirens and lights on as I speed my way through every red light to make my way to Alannah's house. I was desperate to know if the body was hers or not. I couldn't face losing someone else; I would never come back from it if I lost her. I try to focus on the road as I drive; although it was getting more and more difficult as it gets harder to hold onto the tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes.

I finally pull up outside Alannah's house, I have to push my way through the crowd of people and press that had gathered to get the latest news. But as I finally make my way through the crowd I was stopped by a police officer holding his hand on my chest as he stops me from passing under the crime scene tape. "No one is allowed in Sir."

"I'm FBI." I say as I show him my badge.

"Of course." The officer says as he lifts the tape for me. "Sorry Sir."

"It's Doctor." I correct him but I don't look or acknowledge him in any way, no my attention was focused on the bin where the body still lay allowing the crime scene unit to collect evidence. I head towards the bin where she was dumped but I couldn't see her face, only the back of her head which wasn't much of a comfort. I get a sinking feeling as I get closer to the body. She's brunette, but then so where all of his victims. She had the same figure as Alannah from what I can see, I just pray that it wasn't her.

"Reid!" Hotch calls out but I ignore him and continue to make my way to the body. "Reid!" Hotch shouts again but this time he pulls me away from my course.

"I need to see if it's Alannah." I beg as I fight to get loose from Hotch's grasp, trying to look over Hotch's shoulder as he drags me away to see if I can get any visual on her.

"It's not her Reid."

A wash of relief comes over me as I stop my struggling and let go of some of the tears that I had held on to on the drive over here. "You're sure?"

"Positive."

"Oh thank God." I sigh as the sick feeling in my stomach eases a little.

"Reid, this is still someone's loved one, you can't talk like that at a crime scene." Hotch cautions me.

"I know, I just though..." I can't bring myself to finish the sentence.

"I understand, but you said you would be able to control your emotions and so far I haven't seen that Reid. You left Rossi and JJ at the side of the road, they couldn't touch the SUV Alannah stole until the crime scene unit looked over it."

"I know, I'm sorry. I just don't know what I would do if I lost them Hotch."

"I know how you feel, you know I do. But there's only so much I can let past. This is an ongoing case and you have to remain professional."

"I can only promise to try."

"This is your last chance Spencer, one more outburst and I'm sending you home." I nod at Hotch's warning. "Morgan and Kate are in next door interviewing the neighbour, although they have to calm her down first. I want you to go into Alannah's house and see if you can find any clues to where he might be keeping her."

I don't say anything, I simply follow orders and head into Alannah's house. As soon as I enter I feel sick again, the images I saw back at the office flash in my mind as a haunting reminder to what happened to the woman I love under this roof. I make my way through the house, imaging how scared she would have been as Alan took his anger out on her.

I make my way to their bedroom. I feel sick to the stomach knowing this is where she lay with him, she could have been in bed with me. I would never hurt her, we could be picking names out for our baby, looking for a new house to turn into our family home. I pull the letter that Alannah had written to me out of my pocket, I can't help but stare at my name. I trace over it with my finger while I try to decide whether or not I should open it.

I take a seat on the bed, my eyes still locked on the envelope. I slowly begin to rip the envelope open, still toying with the idea of not reading what was inside. I knew this was a goodbye letter, I don't know if I'm strong enough to read that right now. Although part of me had to know what Alannah wanted to say to me. I had received so many of these letters but this will still be one of the most difficult to read. I pull the letter out and unfold it. I wipe tears from my eyes and take a deep breath to prepare myself to read her words.