Chasing Happiness: Volume 2: Yours Always (Criminal Minds: Spencer Reid Fanfic)

Part 28

My eyes are locked to the gun that Alan has pointed at Spencer's head. Even if I said I regretted it, he would think I was lying. Spencer may be able to cope with a bullet through the leg but not one in the head. "No!" my eyes shoot in the direction the voice came from. I see Spencer looking at Alan. "I don't regret making love with Alannah. You don't deserve her, she's amazing and beautiful and you almost destroyed her. I saw the marks, I know what you did to her, no one deserves that abuse. So if what we did together made her even a little happy then no, I don't regret a moment of it."

Alan moves his death stare towards me. "Did he? Did he make you happy Alannah?"

I wait before I answer, Alan still has the gun pointed at Spencer while he's looking at me. "It's not as simple as that." I say, my eyes starting to sting from holding back tears.

"Well I'm gonna make it simple," Alan says as he walks towards Spencer, waving his gun in the air as he inches closer and closer towards Spencer. "You answer the question, and I might not kill Spencer, but if you don't answer it, I'm gonna kill him anyways." Alan looks at me as he presses the gun into Spencer's temple, Spencer tries to move but he can only move his head so far without causing himself more pain.

"What if I give you an answer you don't like? Or if I tell the truth and you don't believe me? You're going to kill us anyway so why should I let you torture us like this?" I shout as I struggle against my restraints. I wasn't sure where the courage had come from but I've had enough of Alan's bullshit, I put up with it for long enough.

"That's a very good question." Alan mulls over an answer for a few moments before answering. "You're right, I am just going to kill you both. However I want to know why you did it, wasn't I enough?" There's something pitiful about Alan's voice. He almost sounded as if he was in pain.

"Enough?" I can't help but let out a chuckle at the comment. "We were amazing together, I did love you Alan. But since your brother got sent to jail you changed. You would never have laid a finger on me before that, but now I'm scared to be in the same room as you. I would pray for a case to come up so I could get away from you. Even the team would work against you, they arranged for most of those training courses you had to go on and they would take cases on that they wouldn't normally take to keep me away from you. Please Alan, hand yourself over and let us live in peace." I plead, although I wasn't sure how effective my plea would be.

Alan's expression changes, from pitiful to sorrow. But it doesn't stay that way for long, it quickly turns back to anger. "You made me do those things."

"I made you? How the hell did I make you beat, rape and mentally abuse me for months? I didn't deserve that, I wanted to feel loved again, that's why I went to Spencer. He loved me and he never hurt me, he could never hurt me. He made me feel safe, something I hadn't felt in a while." I feel tears begin to sting my eyes and a lump in my throat starts to form. I had taught myself to block out bad memories, just get on with things, but recently my past kept catching up with me. I was forced to remember some of the worst events in my life and I had to go through them again. I thought I was finally going to be able to live a happy life with Spencer but now it looks like the only way we can be together is in death.

***

"Have the snippers got a clean shot yet?" Kate asks as she paces in the hostage negation van watching Garcia type furiously as she searches for a way to safe her friends.

"Not yet." Cruz says, his arms folded as he scans for any shots that could be taken.

"How are we gonna play this Hotch?" Morgan speaks up, turning his swivel chair around, away from the screens to face Hotch who was stood behind him.