I'm A Big Fat Liar

Chapter 4

Alex and Liam got even closer after the failed date. Liam came to understand Alex was deeply emotionally hurt. Nothing he could say would help, he just had to be their for her. She needed support and from the looks of it, he was the only one who could help her.

Liam tried to get Alex to cheer up, but when that didn't work. Liam offered to help Alex lose weight. Alex was hesitant at first, but the moment she looked into Liam's sexy sea green bedroom eyes. She melted and caved in. It also sweetened the deal when Liam said he'd buy there Friday night pizzas for now on. Now she was regretting giving in. The 'monster' known as Liam, took her to 'The Park' and expected her to god only knows what.

"Why are we all the way out here Liam?" Alex asked getting out of the car. She was afraid of his response. She was dressed in her usual sweat shirt and sweat pants. Her short hair slightly messy from the car ride.

"We my friend are here to go jogging. Come on don't make that long face. We both need a good exercise!" Liam said excited, his eyes shining in happiness. Alex was afraid, but she held her tongue for now. Liam seemed so very happy and she loved it when he was happy.

"Fine, but you do realize if I die out here you gotta bury my body and I weigh over a ton!" Alex said only partially joking. Liam was really all she had. Her family abandoned her in many ways and she refused to return to them. They only inflict pain on her, mentally and physically.

"Right right. Let's warm up! We don't wanna get cramps do we." Liam stated firmly. Still his face held his smile. It seemed like lately all Liam did was smile, which made Alex smile.

"Okay. How do we do this?" Alex asked uncomfortable. She'd never really stretched before. She's ran before, but only when she had to when she was younger to recieve less pain, but this was different.

"All you have to do it stand up straight. put your arms out straight. Bend over slowly and touch your toes. You can do it, just a little more." Liam instructed, helping Alex to stretch, to prepare for the long run.

"Omg! This hurts!" Alex whined.

"Man up Alex! Your only stretching." Liam said trying to sound sternly, but still a smile stayed on his lips.

Shortly after stretching some more Liam and Alex went into a slow jog. Liam was pushing Alex and Alex's temper was about to blow. She was out of shape and Liam knew this. Hell the whole world knew just by the look at her. She was huge!

"Will you stop that! God! Your worse than my fucking mother!" Alex yelled before she could control herself. She paled at what she said. She'd never wanted to tell Liam about any of her past. Her past was not easy. Liam didn't need to know the extent of her emotional pain. He was to out going to deal with the likes of her mind.

"Whoa, Alex. Come back here. What do you mean worse than your mother?" Laim said jogging faster to get up to Alex, since she jogged away from him faster than they were going originally.

"Nothing, drop it. I don't want to think about any of that right now." Alex said, still jogging, but her legs felt shaky and her face still pale. She was close to having a panic attack and she knew it. Liam let it go, the only reason he did is because Alex didn't look well. He was beyond shaken up and he decided he'd get to the bottom of it later. One way or another.

"Okay grandpa move your ass!" Liam joked. Lightening the mood a bit and Liam could see the small smile on Alex's lips.

Close to three hours later Alex was on her knees in the grass panting and grabbing her chest. He worked her hard and it was only the first day. How was she suppose to keep this up! He's trying to kill her she assumed.

"Come on Alex, I got a date with Ashlynn tonight and I wanna get home to get ready." Liam said, his cheeks with a tinge of pink to them.

"Your still seeing her? I've never heard you date a girl this long." Alex asked, her own heart breaking, knowing that Liam must really like Ashlynn.

"She's great. You've met her. She is more than beautiful. She's smart and funny. I don't know. I guess with my parents pressuring me to settle down. I am looking at her as more than a hot date, but maybe have a future with her. I also really like like her. You know. I'm not sure when I'll ask her to be my girlfriend, I mean at the moment I am happy dating her. " Liam said looking a little uncomfortable. Alex held her tears at bay and decided she'd release them when she gets home. She knew he'd fall in love someday, she just didn't expect so soon was all.

"Yeah. You mean sleeping with her." Alex chuckled before they decided to head back.

"Yeah that to. She's a tiger." Liam chuckled and than decided it was time to head home. They both desperatly need a shower.

Alex was quiet all the way back home. Her excuse was she was beat. She was beyond tired, but the real reason was she knew if she spoke she'd cry her splitting heart out. She needed to make herself numb. She knew how to do it. She's done it before and it worked.

Liam and Alex both approached the building. When they got inside they both went into their own apartments. Liam went to take a shower and get ready for his hot date.

Once Alex was inside her apartment. She went right to her bathroom and stripped off her clothes. She looked in the mirror and all she saw was her fat. She was not a woman, she was a whale. She had no self-respect. She was angry at herself. She kept telling herself she was okay with him being just her friend. She couldn't keep lying to herself anymore.

When Alex was back in highschool and she was engaged to Chris. Sometimes she'd have too much going on in her mind and cut herself to numb herself. Today with her brining her mother up and with Liam telling her he was falling in love with Ashlynn. Alex rummaged through her cabinet, until she found her stash of sterile razor blades. She has them in case of emergency.

'How come I was never good enough for anyone. Why did dad leave me alone with them. Why am I so repulsive. What is wrong with me. ARG! Why did I have to fall in love with him. I'm so very in love with him and in his eyes I am only a fat man, only a friend. Nothing more. When he finds out he'll hate me and than leave me like eveyone else has. I'll wind up alone.' Alex thought irrationally. Yet, she thought clearly as well. Her mind was a boggled mess.

All Alex wanted to do was slice into her soft awaiting flesh, drag the blade across her skin and watch as a crimson stream pulls to the surface to make a bloody tear roll down her leg. She wanted too so very badly, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Liam popped in her head and instead of cutting herself she threw the razor blade and dropped to her knees and cried and cried and cried. She hadn't cried this hard since the death of her father.