Sebastian's POV
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Hollow, horrifyingly blue eyes bore into my shocked ones as I scour over every inch of his body. Bones sticking out where they shouldn't be, red lines plastered over his delicate skin, tight skin barely stretching across his body. "Ciel, Ciel, what did you do?" The silence is deafening. His eyes turn from happy, to confused, to heartbreakingly sad in a matter of seconds. Tears begin to pool in his piercing eyes.
"I-I don't kn-know," Ciel spits out, tears streaming down his sickly pale face. "I can't, Se-Sebastian, I can't." The frail arms around my neck tighten as sobs echo through our room. With each gasp he takes, I worry his body will snap because of how small he is.
"Shh, shh, I'm here now," I pick up his body and set it in my lap and rock him back and forth. I press soft kisses to every spot available to me."Breathe with me, okay?"
"I-I don-n't kn-now if I c-can," His wails grow louder and the grip he has on my body gets tighter. I bring his face toward me and kiss him softly on the lips. He panics more at first but soon settles down. Tears run down his cheeks and onto mine.
"Better now?" I ask, brushing the hair out of his face.
"I feel dead emotionally, Sebastian," Ciel breathes out shakily. "But I'm breathing."
"We can work on that, we just need you to be breathing," I rub his back soothingly. Several minutes pass before his shaky breaths become stronger. "Do you want to tell me what happened?" I murmur as if not to spook him.
"I had bad voices in my head. Bad voices telling me that if I did these things, that you," Ciel trails off. Blue eyes look off as if they're in a trance.
"That I would what, lover?" I take his hand and kiss it lovingly.
"That.... That.... That you would leave me. That you would hate me for all I am and all I've done. That you would think I'm disgusting. That the only way to get you to love me was to stop eating. The only way to get relief from all the internal pain I've had was to slice myself open. But I've only messed it up more. You deserve someone much less messed up than me," Hiccups interrupt his speaking and tears stream down his reddened cheeks once again.
"Oh honey," My arms tighten around Ciel as he begins to cry again. "I've never thought you were disgusting. I've loved you for so long. I loved you in your past life. Even when you died, I still searched for you. My love hadn't died. Nothing could keep me from finding you. I'm amazed you've stayed with me. I will always love you. Everything that happened in the past, it's in the past. You don't need to do this to yourself. Everything you did, I was there to witness, I was the one to act it out. You're perfect the way you are." I kiss the cuts I can see on his wrists.
"Sebastian, I love you," Small hands grab my face and smash our lips together. I chuckle but kiss back.
"I love you, more than you could ever imagine," I kiss his nose. Ciel's sniffles are the only evidence left of his break down. "What we're going to need to do is get you some help. You can't hide these feelings all inside and there's only so much I can do. We'll get you a therapist, and then we can go from there. How does that sound?" I mumble against his collarbone.
"I'm a little hesitant but if it means getting better, then let's do it," Ciel's body tenses up and I rub his shoulders.
"I'll be right by your side. If you're not comfortable with talking to another person, I can be in the room with you and your therapist. I'll do whatever I can to help you," I smile at him. He smiles back at me.
"We're going to do this together?" He asks, hands shaking. I take them in my own and kiss his lips.
"Together."
YOU ARE READING
Before Everyone Else (SebaCiel, Modern AU)
FanfictionCiel is a rich loner who has just moved to a whole new town with his guardian, Levi. Sebastian is one of his housemates who has taken care of Eren since birth. Immediately, Ciel remembers his and Sebastian's love for each other but nothing else. Wil...
