K-POP one shots

BigBang ~ Choi Seunghyun (T.O.P) - Healing

A/N: This story is personal so please don't hate. show lots of love to it please. ;-; some content maybe too informative. so.. like.. warning? these are true emotions~

           I looked at the picture in my phone, his smiling face was staring right back at me. With a sigh I locked my phone, turning the smiling face of my boyfriend to a dark screen. I leaned back on the white wall and my attention went to my wrist, the skin and the way my veins reflected out sent a rush through my body like a drug.

        A forced sigh escaped my lips as the blade of the razor I held in my other hand, gracefully touched the skin of my wrist. He wouldn't be too mad, would he? I thought to myself as his smiling face popped into my head. I sighed and dropped the blade. He would be so sad though, could I be this horrible to let him find me like this? Well who said he had to find out, but hell I freaking need to feel this. I placed the blade back on my wrist, adding the needed pressure and then gliding it to the side. I smiled and let out a small sigh of relief as the scarlet water drip down my arm and staining the white tile floor.  I leaned my head back, finally smiling.

"Jagiya? Jagyia? Where are you?"

       I dropped the blade immediately as I heard his voice come close. I stood up and clutched the wound, feeling the blood seep out. I softly cursed and turned the shower on and ripped off my shirt and throwing it to the location where the blood stain was on the floor. I tore off the rest of my clothes and stepped into the warm water. The contact of the water sent chills down my spine, slowly I looked down at the cut which led from one side of my wrist to the other. It wasn't too deep, I'll live but the pain and the sight was what felt like a drug. I began to wet my hair and place pressure on my wound when my boyfriend walked in.

"Jagiya?" He asked.

"Hm?" I answered, knowing he was only able to see the outline of my body, which sent a small blush across my face.

"Are you okay?" He asked slowly.

        I let out a normal chuckle though I was freaking out in the inside. "Of course I am."

       He sighed and leaned on the wall. "Then why is there a bloody blade on the floor?"

       I sighed and yelled at myself for not thinking about the blade. "Is there? How strange." I did my best to come up with an excuse like denying it all or saying it was an accident.

"Please stop lying Jess. I know you... hurt yourself." He said, his voice breaking.

"I do not." I said acting as if it were all a lie.

"______!" He tore the shower curtain open, making me cover myself and looking at him helpless.

"Stop lying." He stepped inside and tore off his sweater, covering me with it. and bringing up my wounded arm. "Jagiya! It's deep." He cried and immediately tore through the cabinet next to the shower and wrapped gauze over it. He kissed it gently and pulled me close, letting the now hot water hit both of  us. I stood there frozen, how did he find out? This was a part of my life where I was determined to keep a secret.

 "Seunghyun~" His name rolled off my lips. His arms wrapped around me instantly.

"Why Jagiya? Why?" He cried into my shoulder, breaking my heart. I didn't think it'll cause this much pain to him.

"I...I've...I..." I let out a sigh and told him everything, all the hopeless reasons why, how the stress and work was putting so much anxiety on me lately and this was what made me relax. I sobbed into his shoulder and we both were sitting on the tile flooring of the shower, letting the water hit both of us when I was done talking and crying.

"Jagiya, I know you take comfort in this, but for me, don't do it anymore. Please, Jagiya, We can do things so you can heal." Seunghyun kissed me and held me close.

       I bit down on my lip and nodded. It was true, the hurt that was collecting in Seunghyun's eyes was too much for me to handle. I couldn't do this to him, not him. I cuddled into him, forgetting how embarrassed I was being naked in front of him. He pulled me close to him him, covering me more with his sweater, cutting off any sight of my body to him. He rubbed my arm, and kissed my head.

"I love you~" I whispered as I clung to his chest.

      He looked down at me, "I love you too Jess." He held me till he thought it was safe to let me go, because he was sure that he couldn't live without me and he'd do anything for me to heal.