Chapter Seven
“I miss you”
Her voice still sounded a little shaky from crying. She looked deep in to Kimberley’s eyes and was relieved when she seen her cross the room and sit on a chair beside the window, instead of leaving all together.
Kimberley sat in the chair and crossed her legs. She dropped her gaze to the cream carpet in the bedroom, finding it easier to look at that than at Cheryl.
The tension in the room was almost tangible as Kimberley waited for Cheryl to continue. There were so many things that she wanted to say, but she had waited a year, another few minutes wouldn’t make any difference to her.
“Every day I’ve missed you” Cheryl went on until she started sobbing again.
Kimberley let her eyes flick up to look at Cheryl, but she looked away before they had chance to connect with the younger girls.
“I though you would have come looking for me” Kimberley smiled sadly. “every time I opened the door I thought it would have been you…but it never was” she sighed.
“I didn’t think you would want to talk to me after what I said” Cheryl admitted, doing her best to keep her breath under control. She dried her eyes on her hands and looked at the black mascara marks on them.
“So you didn’t even try?” Kimberley asked, the frown deepening on her face. “you just gave up, you didn’t even phone me up”.
“you never phoned me either” Cheryl bit back.
“you told me you hated me Cheryl, you said you wished you never met me” Kimberley replied, her voice raised, one level away from full blown shouting.
“you don’t have to keep reminding me” Cheryl winced, every time she heard those words it felt like a knife going through her heart.
Kimberley laughed and stood up, although she was finding no humour in the conversation at all.
“I hear those words every time I think of you…which is all the time” she said, so quietly that Cheryl had to listen closely to hear her.
“every time I open a newspaper, what do you think I remember?” she went on, her tone suggesting she was upset.
“do you think I remember all the good times we had, all the times that we laughed together? Or do you think I remember the time you made my cry…like I’ve never cried before?” she shouted, not giving the younger girl time to respond as her hand tightened around the bedroom door handle.
“No…wait” Cheryl shouted to her desperately. She jumped up off the bed and crossed the room to where Kimberley was stood at the door.
“please don’t leave again” Cheryl begged, reaching her hand out and grabbing Kimberley’s wrist as she turned the handle. “I don’t think I could cope if you left again”.
Kimberley let her eyes fix on Cheryl’s hand which was grabbing at her wrist. She fought back the overwhelming urge to cry and swallowed hard at the lump in her throat.
“how did it get this bad?” Kimberley asked, after what seemed an extraordinarily long time.
Cheryl shrugged her shoulders, keeping her hand around Kimberley’s wrist.
“if I knew then that this was going to happen, I wouldn’t have said anything” Cheryl admitted, closing her eyes slowly against the tears that were about to come.
“why did you say it Cheryl” Kimberley asked, her tone returning back to normal.
They both stood awkwardly at the door, neither one of them breaking from the contact that they held.
“you know why I did it” Cheryl sighed sadly, before releasing her grasp so that Kimberley could move her hand.
“tell me” Kimberley asked, although it came out as more of a demand.
“Because I love you”
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