Chapter Twenty Six
Cheryl pulled her hand away quickly, as though she had just put it in to a hot fire. Their eyes met again, this time however, it was through silent communication. Kimberley’s eyes were telling Cheryl all she needed to know, and for just a minute, she actually thought she was going to be sick.
She swallowed hard before shaking her head slightly, as if by pretending she didn’t believe it, it might go away and never come back.
Without saying anything, she opened her arms wide and let the older girl fall willingly in to them. She hugged her tightly, probably tighter than she had ever hugged her in her life. She felt Kimberley’s shoulders shaking and knew that she was crying, but what could she say?
She was completely out of her depth. She wanted to tell her it would all be okay, and that there was nothing to worry about. But of course, that was a complete lie, especially as her own heart felt as if it was going to physically break at any moment.
She lifted her hand and patted Kimberley’s head, letting it tangle in to her hair afterwards. They stayed that way for a long time, and although Cheryl didn’t cry outwardly, inside, the tears were flooding.
“I’m so scared Cheryl” Kimberley sobbed, her voice muffled by her hair and Cheryl’s shoulder. Cheryl held her tighter and stroked her back reassuringly, whilst desperately trying to keep the tears from falling.
She was going to have to be the strong one now, at least until they got through everything. Normally it was her who relied on Kimberley for emotional support, not the other way around.
“you’ve been to the doctors haven’t you babe” Cheryl asked, pulling away from the embrace just a little so she could see Kimberley’s tear stained face.
“what if it’s…..” She couldn’t even bring herself to say it, just the thought made her feel sick to her stomach. Instead she just dropped her head and fell back in to Cheryl’s arms hoping that at some point, she would wake up and it would all be a bad dream.
“Kimberley…you need to go to the doctors babe” Cheryl replied before sighing deeply. Of all the things she imagined that Kimberley had wanted to talk to her about, this one hadn’t even registered in her head. Thing like this were not supposed to happen to Kimberley, they were supposed to have their fairytale ending after everything that they had been through.
“I know” Kimberley nodded. She took a few deep, ragged breaths to compose herself and used the back of her hand to wipe away the tears from her eyes.
“we can go tomorrow, I’ll go with you” Cheryl offered, deciding that it was best for her to have something for her to concentrate on, in case she went stir crazy.
“but you have work” Kimberley replied, trying to find an excuse that would mean she wouldn’t have to go to the doctors. She knew she had to go, every rational thought in her head was telling her she needed to go…but what if it turned out to be bad? What if the doctor just confirmed her worst fears?
“Kimberley…” Cheryl sighed and shook her head. “Where you are concerned, everything else comes second”
Kimberley smiled despite her tears, and for just a second, she actually felt as though she could at least think about going to the doctors. “what if its bad news though Cheryl?” she asked quietly.
“then…we will face it together” she replied, tucking a piece of hair behind Kimberley’s ear.
Kimberley sighed deeply and attempted to smile. It didn’t come easy to her, but she felt better for telling Cheryl. She relaxed in to her arms again and rested her head on the girl’s shoulder.
“it feels like a bad dream” Cheryl muttered as they lay there on the couch, both lost in their own thoughts.
Kimberley laughed a little, although she had no humour left in her body at that moment.
“you can wake up from a dream”
-
Cheryl strummed her fingers on the hand rest of the car and tapped her foot for the hundredth time. She looked at her watch which told her she was almost three hours late for filming.
She had spent most of the morning at the Doctors with Kimberley, and if she was honest, she was glad to be in the car, going back to work, even if it did mean sitting in the enormous traffic jam. It gave her something to focus on, something else to think about.
But what was Kimberley thinking about? She didn’t have the luxury of having something to take her mind off it.
She had phoned to let them know she wouldn’t be in for the mornings filming and although nobody was particularly happy about it, it was the least of her problems. In fact, after the day she had had, it wasn’t even a problem.
Eventually the car pulled in to the studios and she made her way to where the floor manager had told her to go. Nobody came over to her, they had all realised as soon as she came in that she was upset and didn’t want to be mithered, and she was thankful that they were respecting that.
She sat at the table and waited for someone to give her an itinerary for the afternoon session. She couldn’t keep her hand from slipping in to her pocket and grabbing her mobile.
“are you okay Babe? X”
she sent the text quickly whilst the rest of them were faffing around and getting ready.
The guilt descended on her from nowhere. She knew that she had copped out by coming to work, she could quite easily have taken the whole day off. In fact, she probably should have taken the whole day off. Kimberley needed her more than ever before, and she was half way across the country doing work that could be re arranged.
She knew exactly why she wanted to come to work though, she didn’t want it to be real. She wanted things to go back to the way they were just the day before, when her only worry was whether Kimberley was being off with her because it was her time of the month.
Cheryl laughed to herself at the harshness of the situation. Maybe they were never intended to be happy?
It was an unsettling thought, and one that she tried to shake from her head. She decided that she would get through today and then ask for some time off, she just hoped that they didn’t pry to much in to her reason.
“I really love you, I wish you were here though X”
She read the text a couple of times before swallowing hard, trying to get rid of the lump in her throat.
