Chapter Eighteen (italics - in the past)
Kimberley linked Nicola’s arm as they made their way back up the beach towards the hotel.
“are you sure your okay” Kimberley asked, sensing that Nicola wasn’t quite as happy as she was making out.
“I’m just shocked” Nicola replied, looking at Kimberley quickly before looking away. “I mean, its not everyday is it” she went on, laughing a little despite the words she was saying.
“it was everyday for me Nicola” Kimberley said simply as she used her free arm to wipe a few stray hairs off her face.
“everyday of waking up lonely, thinking about the one person I wanted more than anyone else and then going to bed even more lonely…it was hell” Kimberley went on, as they came to a stop at the edge of the beach where the sand met tarmac.
“you didn’t have to suffer it on your own” Nicola replied with a sad smile.
“I know…I’m sorry”
-
Kimberley put her empty wine glass on the table beside her, her cheeks a healthy shade of red, partly due to the log fire and partly due to the copious amounts of alcohol she had been drinking.
She leant her back against the edge of the couch and stretched her arms out wide, letting one of them fall around Cheryl’s shoulders as she brought it back down again.
She felt the girl tense up at her touch as she pulled Cheryl in towards her for a hug, but shrugged it off, blaming the alcohol.
“Kimberley, don’t” Cheryl replied, her mood changing suddenly as she pushed the older girls hands off her.
It took a minute for what Cheryl had said to register in Kimberley’s brain, but as it did, she frowned back to the girl, wondering what had caused the sudden outburst.
“stop hugging me, and kissing me all the time…its not right” Cheryl went on, getting up off the floor and dusting herself down.
“Cheryl…” Kimberley frowned, as she stood up to be level with the girl.
“I can’t handle it Kimberley” Cheryl said, cutting her off and throwing her arms up in a defensive manner when Kimberley went to touch her hand.
“I don’t understand” was all Kimberley could manage to say as she shook her head and waited for Cheryl to explain.
“open your f****** eyes Kimberley” Cheryl bit back, her tone telling the older girl that she wasn’t in the mood to be pushed.
This time it was Kimberley’s turn to step back. She looked at Cheryl with a hurt expression on her face before bending down to pick up her bag.
“I’ll come back tomorrow when you’re sober” Kimberley replied, trying her hardest to keep her temper under control, even though she had no clue as to why Cheryl had suddenly snapped.
“Don’t bother” Cheryl shouted to her as she was heading out of the door. Cheryl’s words stopped Kimberley in her tracks and she turned to face Cheryl.
Cheryl’s emotions got the better of her as she stood in the living room, looking at Kimberley who was about to leave. Tears started to fall from her eyes without abandon, and despite all her efforts she started to sob.
“oh Cheryl…” Kimberley sighed, seeing the state that her friend was in. She dropped her bag and crossed the room with her arms outstretched.
Cheryl knocked her arm away before she had chance to hug her, she met Kimberley’s eye through the tears in her own as she felt the words tumble out of her mouth.
“just go away…sometimes I wish I never met you”
Kimberley stood in shock for a few moments, not breaking her eye contact from Cheryl’s, even though she wanted to. She wanted to turn around and run away, but something in the way she said it cut Kimberley deeply.
“you don’t believe that” Kimberley said quietly, not wanting to believe what was coming out of Cheryl’s mouth.
“don’t tell me what to believe…” Cheryl shouted, her voice cracking and breaking as she sobbed.
“I’m sick of it Kimberley…I hate the way you make me feel”
-
The sound of the door slamming shut made Cheryl wince as she dropped to the floor where she was sat just moments ago.
She looked at the half empty bottle of wine and wondered to herself how much of that outburst she could contribute to the alcohol.
The truth was though, she wasn’t drunk, she wasn’t even tipsy. Everything that she had said was the truth. No matter how hard it was to say, it was the truth.
She looked around her at the empty room, and wondered if she had just made a big mistake.
It had to come out at some time, she had been feeling that way for far too long, and bottling it up had meant it had exploded without her even realising it at first.
If she had known then that those words would be the last she said to the girl for a whole year, she wouldn’t have said anything.
-
Kimberley walked from the house quickly, fighting every instinct to turn back and battle it out with Cheryl. She could feel the wind hitting the tears that had started to roll down her cheeks, the more she wiped them away, the quicker the next ones seemed to fall.
It was a rash decision, one that she would most probably regret, but it seemed to be the only thing to do as she ran up her staircase and in to her bedroom.
Cheryl’s words were playing over and over in her head as she flung her wardrobe doors open and pulled her suitcase down, not stopping to think about what she was doing, she filled the case up quickly.
There was no reason for her to stay anymore, she needed to get away, maybe then she could understand what had actually happened.
It took her a lot of years to settle in the cottage, getting everything just right, which is why it seemed to hurt that little bit more as she stood at her front door, looking in to the home that she knew she was leaving behind.
She glanced over at Cheryl’s house as she made her way down the path in to the town centre, the suitcase following loudly behind her.
She could see the girl’s shadow in the window, but she wasn’t close enough to make out any facial expressions. For a brief moment she thought about going back but the only thing stopping her were Cheryl’s words.
‘I wish I had never met you’
