Chapter Thirty - Three
Cheryl raised herself up with her hands and found herself looking, mesmerised in to Kimberley’s eyes as the girl fought to recover her breathing. She brought her hand up to the girl’s face and stroked her cheek gently before dropping her hand on to Kimberley’s waist.
Kimberley twisted underneath her and adjusted herself, the stairs becoming just that bit more uncomfortable.
“do you want to get up babe?” Cheryl asked, with a smile, realising that the girl was uncomfortable where she was lay. She got up quickly and dusted herself off, trying not to look as Kimberley got up and pulled her dress back down.
“well that was different” Kimberley replied after a moment, pointing to the stairs. Cheryl smiled cheekily before winking at her and walking back in to the kitchen. She looked over her shoulder quickly to see if Kimberley was following her and was happy to find she was.
She rinsed out a couple of wine glasses from the sink, and even though she didn’t turn around, she was aware of Kimberley sitting at the table.
“I never said sorry” Kimberley said out of the blue as Cheryl stuck her head in to the fridge and retrieved the bottle of red wine. She turned around with it in her hand and closed the door, looking over at Kimberley, her face telling the older girl she didn’t know what she was talking about.
“well not properly anyway…not in the way I wanted to” she corrected herself, her fingers drumming nervously on the table top.
“about what babe?” Cheryl asked, tearing her eyes away from Kimberley long enough to pour the wine and put the bottle on the table.
Kimberley waited for Cheryl to sit down with the drinks before she went on.
“I’m sorry for leaving…I’m sorry for doubting you…for taking you for granted. There’s so many things that I’m sorry for Cheryl. I’m sorry that I left it so long, and that I didn’t come back even though I wanted too…”
Cheryl jumped down from her stool and walked around the table to Kimberley. She slid one hand around the girls waist and slid a finger from the other hand on to her full lips.
“Don’t be sorry” Cheryl replied softly, shaking her head. “that was the past Kimberley, it was one year…we have the whole of our lives to make up for that one year” she replied, pulling the girl in to her, whilst she was still sat on the stool, and hugged her tightly.
“but don’t you ever wonder…what it would have been like if I hadn’t have left…if you hadn’t have said those things” Kimberley asked, turning her head so she could look up to Cheryl who was still stood with her arm around her waist.
“do we have to have this conversation again Kimberley?” Cheryl asked with a sigh, she let her hand drop from Kimberley’s waist and made her way back to the stool she was originally sat on.
“no” Kimberley said, swallowing hard and backing down from the argument that was about to ensue.
She cursed herself inwardly for backing down when really she wanted to talk about it. “if I hadn’t have left, and you hadn’t have said…what you said, we wouldn’t be here now” Kimberley went on after a long pause, much to Cheryl’s disappointment.
“it hurts me Kimberley…it hurts me that I said I hated you, and it hurts me that you left me. I can’t keep having this conversation with you because that whole period just hurts” Cheryl replied with a sigh before shrugging her shoulders and sliding off the stool.
“but if we never talk about it, how are we supposed to move on from it?” Kimberley asked with a frown, raising her voice just a little to match Cheryl’s.
“I have moved on” Cheryl shouted back, loosing control of the level of her voice so it came out angrier that she intended it too.
Kimberley banged her wine glass on to the table and threw Cheryl a look before walking out of the room and leaving Cheryl stood in the kitchen wondering what had just happened.
Kimberley walked in to the bedroom and slammed the door, more because she wanted Cheryl to hear it than to relieve any tension. She sat down on the edge of the bed and let her head drop in to her hands.
Sometimes Cheryl infuriated her to the point where she actually wanted to scream, and for a full minute she actually wondered what she was doing in the middle of London, so far from her home and everything she had come back too after so long. For a full minute she actually wondered if it was all worth it, she wondered if Cheryl was worth it as well…
But then the minute passed and she felt guilty for even letting the thoughts in her head. She got up and walked over to Cheryl’s wardrobe and opened it, looking for something of the girls that she could put on to feel closer to her. Of course she should have just gone back in to the kitchen and apologised but this way seemed a lot easier.
She rifled through a few garments until a box caught her attention. Pulling it out she immediately knew what it was and for a few minutes she thought her heart might actually break.
She sat back on to the bed and took the lid carefully off the box and sat it on to her knee.
She brushed her hands over the collection of shells inside, letting her eyes cast over them as she did so.
It didn’t even take her a minute to realise why she should be here, why she should try and not just give up.
She had always believed in love, but it had always seemed so far away from her that she had lost sight of it for a while, yet here it was staring her in the face. It was the small things that Cheryl did that made her heart melt and they meant more to her than the big things.
They always had, that was the reason she had fallen in love with her in the first place. The guilt washed over her suddenly and she closed the box quickly, feeling bad for doubting her relationship with Cheryl.
“I look at them sometimes when things seem difficult”
Kimberley jumped a little at the sound of Cheryl’s voice. She turned and looked towards the door and saw Cheryl leaning against it looking in.
“I can’t believe you kept them” Kimberley replied with a sad smile, shaking her head whilst she looked back at the shells.
“they remind me how much I gave up on love…and how wrong I was to do it” Cheryl replied. She walked in to the bedroom quietly and sat next to Kimberley on the bed, resting her back against the wall.
“I’m sorry about before” Kimberley replied, she let her head fall on to Cheryl’s shoulder and turned in to her, but kept one hand in the box of shells, letting her fingers stroke them as she brushed her hand around the box.
Cheryl put one arm around her shoulders and pulled the girl in a little bit closer and let her other hand fall on top of Kimberley’s in the box. She squeezed it gently before riffling through the box, looking for something.
“that’s the one” she said after a few moments, pulling out one of the shells and putting it in to Kimberley’s hand.
Kimberley looked at her confused. She rolled the shell in her hands feeling bad that she didn’t know its significance.
“that was the first one… I remember because when you gave it to me I wasn’t sure why you did, but something told me I should keep it so I did” Cheryl told her, and shrugged embarrassed at the look on Kimberley’s face.
“I don’t even know why I started doing that you know” Kimberley laughed with a little frown. She rolled the shell between her fingers and looked at it again before dropping it back in to the box.
“I said I liked them…I used to collect them when I was little” Cheryl said quietly, letting her voice trail off as she lost herself in a silent thought.
“lets go and get something to eat” Kimberley said after a few minutes, she put the box to the side of the bed and kissed Cheryl on the cheek before getting up off the bed.
Cheryl took her time getting off the bed, she lingered at the door whilst Kimberley sashayed down the hallway, exaggerating the sway of her hips for Cheryl’s benefit who was staring eagerly from the bedroom.
