Chapter Thirteen
Cheryl felt her body tingle underneath Kimberley’s touch as the girl rested her hand on Cheryl’s waist.
Sarah’s laugh from the pool area made them both momentarily look over in the direction of the other girls, and Cheryl knew that whatever it was she was eventually going to say to Kimberley, she couldn’t do it in front of the girls.
“maybe we should go somewhere else” Cheryl suggested, sitting up in the recliner and taking her sunglasses off.
Kimberley nodded and picked herself up from Cheryl’s seat. The younger girl watched her as she made her way over to the pool where Nadine was splashing around at the side and bent down.
Cheryl let her eyes drop to Kimberley’s behind as she bent down and instantly felt guilty for it.
She hadn’t seen her in a year and the first thing she was doing was checking her out. She watched as Kimberley whispered something to Nadine, who in turn, glanced over at Cheryl before nodding to Kimberley.
“come on then” Kimberley said upon her return. She bent down and picked a sarong up which she tied loosely around her waist and waited for Cheryl to get ready.
-
The water lapped gently at Kimberley’s ankles as she walked slowly down the beachfront with Cheryl walking a few steps behind.
The sound of children’s laughter from the distance filled the silence that had developed between the two of them since they had walked down to the beach.
“we used to talk all the time” Cheryl said, the sound of her voice breaking the silence making Kimberley stop in her tracks to look at the girl.
“now I don’t even know what to say to you any more” Cheryl carried on.
“I came here to fix this Cheryl” Kimberley replied, pointing her finger from herself to Cheryl. “But how can we do that if you don’t even talk to me about what happened?”.
Cheryl walked over to an empty patch of sand on the beach and sat down, she waited for Kimberley to join her before sighing deeply.
“you know that feeling you get Kimberley? When you realise that the one thing you really want…you’re never going to get it?”
Kimberley nodded her head in agreement but decided against saying anything, instead she stayed silent to let Cheryl carry on.
“the first time I ever felt that feeling was when I met Justin. I remember looking in to your eyes, all I really wanted to see was a little spark that you were unhappy, but I never seen it because I knew he made you happier than anyone else could”
“Cheryl…” Kimberley started, but stopped when the girl raised her hand.
“you wanted to hear it Kimberley, well this is it” Cheryl warned her, their eyes connecting for the briefest moment before Kimberley nodded for Cheryl to go on.
“for a while I thought I could have made you happy you know?” Cheryl laughed sadly, her fingers playing with the knot on her sarong.
“I never wanted to fall in love with you Kimberley…but I did. I was even going to tell you, I had it all planned out in my head of what I was going to say…and then you introduced me to Justin” Cheryl said, her voice almost breaking although she done her best to disguise it.
“I never knew” Kimberley replied, her voice almost in a whisper as she wondered whether it would have been appropriate to put her hand on top of Cheryl’s, she decided against it and instead used it to comb through her hair.
“nobody did. Like I said, I never intended for you to find out at first, but then as time went on, I just couldn’t keep it in anymore, I felt like if I didn’t tell you, I’d explode. And then when I saw Justin…I just knew there was no point”
Kimberley let her fingers trace circles in the soft sand beneath her, as she listened to what Cheryl was saying.
“you should have told me” she sighed, trying to meet Cheryl’s eye who was staring towards the ground.
Cheryl shook her head sadly.
“it would have changed everything Kimberley”
“well it couldn’t have been any worse than what happened” Kimberley replied back, although there was no malice in her voice.
-
“did you really hate me” Kimberley asked after a moment, the way it was said suggested to Cheryl that she had been waiting to ask the question for a while.
“no…” Cheryl said, shaking her head emphatically. “but I hated the way you made me feel. I hated waking up everyday to that same empty feeling. That’s what I hated…that’s what I should have told you but I was upset” Cheryl went on, fighting hard to stop the tears that she could feel forming.
“I wanted to come back you know?” Kimberley said after a moment which seemed to get Cheryl’s attention.
“everyday I woke up and I thought to myself ‘should I go back’ but when you didn’t call or get in touch, I just thought that maybe you didn’t want me there”
Cheryl swallowed hard but the lump that had formed in her throat just wouldn’t shift.
“after I left, I tried to get on with things but nothing was the same without you. Eventually Justin got fed up and left, and that was it… My life stopped that day Cheryl, when you told me that you hated me. I felt like somebody had ripped my heart out”
She wiped away a few tears from her eyes before laughing out loud at how ridiculous she must have looked.
A family lay out their beach towels a few feet away which Cheryl took as their signal to get up and carry on walking down the beach. The media wasn’t such a problem anymore, especially in LA, their wasn’t the same amount of interest in them that there was when the band first went on their break, but even so, old habits died hard.
-
“it took Sarah two weeks to convince me to come here” Kimberley said to Cheryl as she quickened her pace to catch up to the girl who was walking a few steps in front.
Before she had realised what she was doing, she slipped her hand between Cheryl’s arm and linked her. She felt Cheryl tense slightly at the action but she didn’t make any move to shake Kimberley off so she didn’t move it either.
“she was quite persuasive with me as well” Cheryl smiled.
“can we move on from this Cheryl” Kimberley asked, looking towards the girl for her answer. Cheryl stopped in her tracks which forced Kimberley to stop as well.
“I’ll never stop loving you Kimberley…believe me I have tried, but I just can’t seem to get you out of my head”
“Is that a no then” Kimberley asked, her face setting in to a worried frown.
“its not a no, but I can’t go on living a lie anymore Kimberley. A part of me will always love you, no matter what you do or where you are. If you can accept that and move on, then I think I can too” Cheryl replied sadly.
Kimberley didn’t respond immediately, her eyes seemed to bore in to Cheryl’s making the younger girl want to look away.
“I want to come home Cheryl”
