Chapter nineteen

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I should feel scared with the door locked in the impala, somewhere off road but somehow I don't feel anything but sorry.

His grey eyes were just staring into mine, I hadn't really noticed how nice they were until he was staring me down angrily. Again, I should be afraid but I'm not.

"Your coven has been killing my kind," he growled at me and I took a step back. I hadn't really seen him like this, I had seen him upset or annoyed but now I realized I had never seen him truly angry until now.

"I didn't know," sputtered from my mouth. Did I know? Of course not, I was under the same illusion I had fed Ryder; that we were the good guys.

"Sure you didn't, you come here and you squeeze your way into my home. You investigate, you lie..." He shook his head, trying to shake something from his mind. "Deceiving us, all so your gang of murders could kill my family, my packs!"

"It wasn't like that," I am trying to defend myself when I know I look as guilty as Luna and Iris. "I didn't deceive you, I -" he put a hand up and I shut my mouth instantly.

"Save it for your next victims," he snorted. "I was always just a creature."

"No! That's not true!" No! No! I can't loose him at this point. Not when I just realized how much he means to me. How could this be true? Were they really off killing packs while I was with Ryder in the woods...

It all comes back to me, their late night hunts. The powder, the vampire begging for his life. Were we the good guys all along? "Ryder, I didn't know. I swear I didn't know," I choked out. I could feel the fire behind my eyes, tears waiting to rush out. God, I don't want him to watch me cry.

His grey eyes softened on me, "Can you honestly say you had no clue?"

He doesn't realize how honest I'm being. I can't even blame him, this whole night has been chaotic and I can't figure out how to prove my innocence in this. I look like the main suspect, if not an accomplice.

"Ryder I'm in love with you." That just happened. I just told him I loved him, probably not the best timing. But it, like much of the terrible things I say- just slipped from my mouth. "I didn't know about any of this."

He just looked at me with his mouth gaping open a little, I was waiting for the explosion of anger. For a huge speech about how I don't love him and I've been using him all this time.

His hands snatched mine and I flinched; I was scared finally- but why...

"Do you mean that?" He sounded like he was pleading with me. The strong, smart and charming asshole I've grown to know in the last two months was now very vulnerable looking.

"Yes, yes I do. I do very much and I didn't really know it, not until you were fighting in the woods and Iris almost-" I shook my head violently. I didn't want to think about what my night would have been like if she had thrown that bag over the three of them. "I have spent every minute fighting what I already knew the minute I spat angry accusations at you."

He chuckled and the sound of his amusement made my drumming heart relax. His large hands were on either side of my face, "I am so in love with you, I think it's driven me completely mad." I chuckled this time, because I probably have driven him crazy. I think we have driven each other crazy. I have never disagreed with someone so much and then wanted them to never leave my side.

"Say it again," he beamed, the angry wolf gone and a gorgeous and happy version of him sitting in front of me.

"I love you."

He kissed me, his lips crashed onto mine and this time I didn't fight it; I enjoyed it and I kissed him back. It was intoxicating and electrifying this time, kissing him without holding back.

His hands moved from my face to my chest and I wrapped my fingers in his hair. He smelled like dirt and Christmas trees and something about it was driving me crazy.

It all happened so quickly, one second I was in my seat and the next I was straddling him in the impala. His hands were on the small of my back, the warmth of his skin on mine was making my insides beg for more.

Everything washed away as his tongue explored my mouth, all of the nights problems vanished. The only thing I could think of was how sweet his mouth tasted, how soft and rough his skin was and how deeply and insanely In love with him I was.

"So, we have that talk then," He said with a chuckle as I pulled my shirt back on.

"That's a good plan, Mr. Galtero."

I sit there trying to have a serious conversation with this man, after the most intense make out I have ever had. Basically floating on a cloud while he buttoned his shirt back up.

"Luke seemed pretty convinced it's your coven," he started calm. "They killed Jake, I called around on my way here and there's been several pack killings in the last few weeks."

He seemed pretty convinced too. The light and airy feeling was gone and the same heavy mist of problems filled the impala. "I can't confirm or deny," I say trying to make light of it. He just doesn't notice and continues.

"The only good thing that came from tonight was that I have a real scent on the leader," he explained.

As he configured his plan, I couldn't help but feel a ping of sadness, followed by the guilt of how my childish feelings were getting in the way of what was truly important. Why I couldn't help but frown at how easily he switched from so in love with me to all business about he packs, was he always like this? So easily focused on the packs... Is it because right now is such an important time?

I know I'm being silly but the icky feeling was building up inside of me as he spoke about his plans to locate Ortus.

"I'll tell my-" he paused, looking at me concerned. He must have smelled it on me, because he took my hands into his and gave them a a squeeze that reassured all my silly doubts.

"Are you alright?"

I nod. I wasn't lying either, something inside me was full and satisfied. I don't think I've ever really felt this way before.

"I'll worry about this," he said with a kiss to my palms. "You don't worry about anything."

"But who will worry about you?"

I had never understood what people meant when they said it happened in slow motion, until now.

He smiled. His perfect teeth fully showing, "I can take care of myself," he replied before pulling me back onto his lap so easily.

"I think I can take care of you," I whispered shyly. I don't usually express myself to people, but it was like a floodgate with this man.

His lips were on mine in a gentle and caring way, I had never experienced this before. It was a hungry feeling to have him so close, a needy feeling.

I peeled off his shirt once more, his fingers found the hem of my sleep shirt and the material was thrown into the back seat.

I can't explain how he did everything so skillfully, so carefully; but he did it the way you'd wish your first time to be. Although it was the ideal place, it was the ideal moment.

He was strong and gentle at the same time, he took something from me but with every kiss and every whispered I love you, I knew I got something in return; I got him.

I knew that reality would set in, the problems and the logical possibilities... But for now I just wanted to enjoy this.

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