Home Wrecker {A.F.I}

Chapter 6

Ashton

I couldn't sleep a wink through the night. I lay there tossing and turning, my mind running wild with thoughts of the night before. It was now six o'clock on the Monday morning and I completely regret not asking my mum for Lex's address. I knew that I just had to see her; I couldn't get her out of my head. Even if it was for her just to yell at me and tell me that Saturday night was a mistake. I knew she felt that way, but to me it wasn't a mistake. Mum was right; if there was a small chance that Lex did reciprocate the feelings I had for her, that I'd have to end things with Bryana before I began something with her. But Bryana wasn't going to be in Melbourne for three weeks, and I don't think I could wait three weeks to see Lex again. No, I knew that I couldn't wait.

In the scheme of things, three weeks doesn't seem like a long time, compared to not seeing her or speaking to her in nearly three years, but this was before; before the other night. I know it sounds stupid, high school relationships weren't meant to last. But there was something about ours that was different, we were best friends from the age of five, and then on her fifteenth birthday; after us kissing accidentally at a street Christmas party, six months prior, and then kissing a few times between then, we finally admitted our feelings to each other and started our relationship. On her sixteenth birthday twelve months later, we lost our virginities to each other. Our relationship was perfect, and still would be, if I wasn't such a fucking idiot.

In March of 2012, a few months after I joined the band, she told me she was moving to Melbourne in April. We both agreed that we would break up when she moved, knowing that at seventeen it was not going to be easy to maintain a long distance relationship. She flew up to Sydney for my eighteenth birthday that same year, and we acted like we were still a couple. We were constantly hugging and kissing each other like nothing had changed. And back then, nothing had. It was the same when I made the surprise trip down to Melbourne for her eighteenth three weeks later.

During the school holidays, she came up to Sydney, as the boys and I were gigging around Sydney. Then November came. The day that changed my life forever. Louis Tomlinson, from the world's biggest boy band had tweeted about being a fan of our lame ass garage band, and not long after that, we were asked to tour with them. The tweet came around the time of our year twelve exams; and Lex was busy studying to get in to a uni up in Sydney, so we were hardly speaking at the time. Maybe a text message or two hear and there. Then exams came and it was even harder to talk to her. We were travelling all over, and recording and writing new music. The time difference changed everything. She kept calling and I kept missing the calls, I honesty planned on calling her back all those times. Then the day it was announced that we were opening for One Direction, she called to congratulate me and the guys and the same thing happened. I vowed to call her back, but again, time got in the way. And I guess that was the last straw for her. I never heard from her again.

Before Friday night, the last time I saw her was New Years of 2012. It wasn't spent like the last times we saw each other. Both of us knew that things were changing; but neither of us thought it would end up like this. Valentine's Day of 2013. That's the day I made the biggest mistake of my life. That's the day I lost the one person who really knew me. That's the day I lost my best friend. That's the day I lost the love of my life. What I would give to turn back the clock, go back to that day and call her back, and tell her how much I love her, how much I miss her and how terribly sorry I am that nothing worked out the way we planned.
Still to this day, I wonder if she knows that I wrote a song about the regret I felt, what I should have done and what I should have said. Calum and a couple of others helped me with what I wanted to say, when we wrote it. The lyrics were perfect and they summed up everything I didn't say and do when it came to us, and everything I should have said and done. Granted by the time she would have heard it, it was probably too late. That's if she heard it at all. I wouldn't be surprised at all if she hadn't paid our band the slightest bit of attention after we stopped talking, and I honestly wouldn't blame her either.