Home Wrecker {A.F.I}

Chapter 26

Alexandria

I kissed him one last time, and I knew that was it for us. I was hoping the songs I'd sung, would make him change his mind, but they didn't, " please, just, leave, before I beg you to stay," I told him, as we pulled away from each other.
Watching him walk away tore my heart in two. I knew he was right, it was more than likely that if we did get together, after what has happened in the past, and also with what has occurred recently; that he would end up hurting me. I wanted to believe it wasn't true, and try to make him change his mind, but I had to let my stubbornness go.
Maybe we will meet again one day, just like he said in the song. He was right when he wrote it, we did meet again, just under the most unfortunate circumstances. Maybe if I gave him the chance to let him explain the night at the bar; I couldn't believe that was only three weeks ago, we would still be in each other's lives right now, that what happened wouldn't have happened. But maybe it was inevitable, that this happened. Maybe it was fate. I knew that I had to let these thoughts go, I had to move on; but I was allowed to be bitter, angry, depressed and heart broken for one night right? The love of my life, my one true love had broken my heart once again, but it was for my own good. After tonight that is what I'd be telling myself. That this was for the best. But there was still a small part of me that was hoping that, at any second, he would come back to where I am right now, and tell me he'd made a mistake in letting me go this time, that he couldn't bare to live with out me.

I sat there, for probably around fifteen minutes before my mum found me. I was sitting against the wall, my knees pulled to my chest and my head buried in them, "Lex, sweetie are you okay?" I heard her
"No," I sobbed
"Where did Ashton go?" She asked, "I saw him come back here after you got off stage,"
"He left," I cried harder, "it's over mummy, it's over," she wasted no time pulling me in to her arms, and holding me as I sobbed
"It'll be okay, baby, it'll be okay,"
"I miss him already," I sobbed, "he told me he loved me, but we couldn't be together,"
"I know sweetie, I know," she hugged me tighter, "but it's for the best, do you want him to hurt you again?"
"N-n-no," I choked on my words, "but I don't think he would, not again,"
"He did this because he loves you," she said
"Then... Then why did he leave me?" I asked her
"I don't know sweetie, but I know you, and you'll be okay," she said, "you got through this once before and you will again,"
"But this time it's different," I sighed, "this time my face has been all over the Internet and magazines because of a stupid mistake,"
"Do you regret it?" She asked, and I wasn't sure what she was getting at
"Regret what?"
"Regret doing what you and Ashton did?" I had to think about that for a moment, the only things I didn't like about what happened, was the way it turned out, both of us broken hearted and alone
"No I don't, the only thing I regret is not being honest about our feelings towards each other in the first place," I told her honestly. She didn't say anything, she just nodded, and kissed the side of my head.

About ten minutes later, we were in her car again, "mum can you take me back to the apartment?" I asked
"Are you sure that's wise Alex?" She asked, Alex was a name that she called me as a young girl. Everyone called me Alex, until I was around fourteen, except Ashton, he always called me Lex or Lexi
"I just want to be alone," I told her
"I'm not sure that's the best idea," she said, "I can take you back to mine and you can just sit in your old room and I'll leave you alone,"
"Mum, I'll be fine," I lied, I knew I wouldn't be fine. I knew exactly what I'd end up doing, but I needed too, I needed to get out of my head, if not forever, at least for tonight
"Okay, but I'll come by in the morning and check on you,"
"I'll be fine mum," I tried to convince her. I knew she'd have trouble believing me, especially after what she saw yesterday, "really," I told her, "I think I need a good night sleep in my own bed,"
"Only if you're sure sweetheart,"
"I'm sure," that was a blatant lie. I knew I wouldn't be fine, but I couldn't break down in front of her again. I'd put her through so much drama with Ashton in the past, I couldn't do it again, "besides you tipped out the remaining alcohol yesterday,"
"That was for your own good,"
"I know," it really was for my own good. I knew that I shouldn't drink away my problems, but honestly it was the only way to escape the thoughts running through my mind.