Home Wrecker {A.F.I}

Chapter 20

Ashton

I went back to the hotel; trying to figure out what I was going to do. I needed her, I wanted her. I was such a fucking pussy. She didn't love me; but I still needed one last time with her, and I needed to tell her how I felt.

I got into another cab, and arrived at Lex's apartment twenty minutes later. I knocked on the door, hoping Cailin wasn't going to answer it; or that she wasn't home. The last thing I needed was for her to post something about this online or go to another magazine with a cheating scandal story.
Thankfully Lex answered. I wasted no time in pinning her up against the wall, attaching my lips to her neck, "you have a girlfriend, Ash," she spoke. I knew that I did, I knew I should've gone straight to where Bryana was staying to end us and come clean about everything. But I couldn't, not with Lex not feeling the same way I do
"She's not around," I said, pushing her against her bedroom door, "besides you didn't seem to care before,"
"That's before people started getting suspicious, it's only a matter of time," she said, not looking me in the eye, "I don't wanna be known as a home wrecker," she was right. People were getting suspicious; but this was going to be the last time. I needed her one last time
"No ones gonna know baby," I said, kissing her neck again and pushing me gently on to the bed
"But people are getting suspicious," she said, "I don't even know if Cailin's home or not,"
"Then we'll just have to be quiet baby girl," I kissed her again, with so much force and passion
"Ash, I can't do this," she said pulling away, I wasn't going to force her. So I rolled off of her, reluctantly. I knew I needed to tell her
"Why?"
"Because... Because,"
"Because why Lex?" I asked
"As if you don't know, Ash," she told me, "you would have heard exactly what I was saying on stage,"
"I don't know what you're saying Lex," i said, "tell me,"
"I broke a rule, okay, I broke a fucking rule," I didn't know what she could mean by this, what rule could she have broken?
"Wait, what rule?" I asked
"I didn't even fucking break it, I've been fucking in love with you the whole time," I didn't know what to say. She loved me. She felt the same way; so why couldn't I say it back. All of a sudden the feel of guilt and anger washed over me, "say something," she begged, "please just say something," I was so shocked that I couldn't say anything. I wanted more than anything to tell her I loved her back; why couldn't I? I knew I did, "please Ash," she had tears falling in her eyes, "why aren't you saying anything?"

I sat there staring at her for a moment or two, I still couldn't find the words to speak. So I just got up; I have to go and tell Bryana. Maybe that's why I couldn't say anything. I knew I was feeling guilty, but it wasn't for cheating on Bryana, it was for not telling Lex how I felt all along; and I only didn't tell her because I couldn't, I didn't know she felt the same way, "where are you going?" She asked, again I couldn't speak, my words were lost, "just say something," she begged, "please," I hated this, i hated that the words wouldn't leave my mouth, "please Ash, tell me you love me back, or lose me forever," what the fuck, why couldn't I say anything? I love her. I feel the same fucking way, so why wouldn't the words leave my mouth. I hoped she was bluffing. I couldn't lose her, not again.
I took one last look at her, mouthing the words I'm sorry to her, and walked to her front door.

I jumped in a cab calling Bryana on the way, "what hotel are you at?" I asked when she answered, she told me, and I told the driver to go there. Bryana messaged me with the room number and I just went straight up. I knocked on the door, and she answered. She looked like she'd been crying, "I need to talk to you," I told her, "and you're probably gonna hate me,"
"Okay?" She said, unsure, she lead me to the couch and we sat down, "what's up?"
"I've been lying to you," I told her, "you were right to have your suspicions about me and Lex,"
"What the fuck, Ashton?" She yelled, "what are you saying?"
"I've been cheating on you while I've been here,"
"Oh my God!" She gasped, getting up off the couch and walking over to me, she slapped me straight across the face, I wasn't shocked; I mean I did deserve it, "why?" She was crying now, "when did this start?"
"The night I went out with Luke," I sighed, "it was never meant to happen, but I couldn't stay away,"
"I can't fucking believe this," she said, "why?"
"Because I'm still in love with her," I sighed, "I'm so sorry," this time it wasn't a lie, was I sorry that I cheated? No, because it was with Lex; but was I sorry that I hurt Bryana in the process? Yeah, I was sorry for that
"Get out! Get the fuck out!"