Home Wrecker {A.F.I}

Chapter 23

Alexandria

Mum and Anne left later that night; and I went straight back to bed.
The next morning when I woke, my mind was still a mess and I decided that I needed to escape it yet again. So I walked to the bottle shop. And again, there were stares and whispers directed at me. I wasn't surprised. It was now the school holidays, so young girls were hanging at the beach and grabbing breakfast and coffee at the local cafes. I ignored what they were saying about me; or at least tried too. It didn't matter if I did though; because in around fifteen minutes I'd be back in my house with my alcohol. Today's choice; 5 Seeds apple cider and two four packs of Smirnoff Double Blacks.

Two hours later; the ciders had been consumed along and I was opening the first four pack. I wasn't drunk enough yet. I don't think I'd ever be able to face the world sober again. I'd been made a public joke. I couldn't bare to look at any of my social media accounts; I didn't want to know what people were saying about me. I knew from that one photo Ashton posted almost two weeks ago now, that the fans loved me, and liked us together. But that was before, before this whole thing came into light. Their opinion could have changed.

Another hour had past and I was now on the fourth can. I was sitting on my bed looking through old photos. This wasn't helping my mental state in the slightest. I finished the can, and stumbled to the fridge to get another one. I opened the can, and took a long sip. Letting the alcohol cloud my mind. I was definitely getting to the point where I'd be passing out soon. I could feel it. My body was growing tired. My mind a cloudy haze of memories of Ashton and I.

I sunk down on the floor, my eyes watering. I'd hardly spent time this week not crying. It didn't matter how much I tried, I couldn't hold in the tears. I was a wreck, I was a mess. Ashton Irwin had once again reduced me to this state. I vaguely remember telling myself that I'd never let myself get this way again. But I did. I let my feelings for him cloud my judgement, once again putting me into this state. I was no longer that fun loving party girl I once was.

I heard a knock on the door. It was probably Briella. I tried to get up and get the door, but it was no use. I couldn't move from my spot on the kitchen floor. The visitor banged on the door, "Lex," I heard com from the other side, "Lex are you in there?" I recognised the voice, it was him. Why was he here? Why did he care? "Lex if you're in there, open up!"
I wanted to get up, I wanted to speak, but like him that night I couldn't. My words were trapped in my throat.
He kept yelling through the door and banging on it, for a few minutes. I ended up dropping the can and clutching my head. It was pounding, and the banging on the door didn't help in the slightest.
He eventually gave up and walked away and I just sat there, my head in my hands; trying to collect my thoughts, but in my drunken state. That wasn't going to happen. I knew I'd have to get my act together.

A few hours later, when I'd sobered up a little, I decided to turn my phone on; for the first time in days and call my mum, she answered straight away, "sweetie, is everything okay?" She asked
"Mummy," I said, I hadn't called her that in the longest time, "I need you," I sobbed in to the phone. She hung up and fifteen minutes later, she was using the spare key she took home with her last night to let her self in
"Lex?" She called out
"Mum," I cried. I still hadn't left my spot in my kitchen

She rushed over to me, and held me to her again; much like last night, "he came over," I sobbed, "but I couldn't answer the door,"
"Why are you drinking so much sweetie?" She asked; I should have seen this coming
"Because I need to escape my mind, I can't seem to think of anything else but him, and what happened,"
"Drinking isn't the answer," she said
"It just hurts so much," I sobbed, "I know I shouldn't have gotten my self in to this, but I couldn't help it. Now everyone hates me,"
"What do you mean sweetie?" She asked
"I can't even walk down the street with out people staring at me, and they whisper things, and they're not quiet about it either,"
"That doesn't mean everyone hates you," she tried to reassure me, "I don't hate you, I love you,"
"You have to love me, you're my mum,"
"Anne doesn't hate you, I'm sure Lauren and Harry don't and Ashton doesn't hate you either,"
"How do you know?" I asked
"If he hated you he wouldn't have shown up at your door," she told me, "he would have stayed in Sydney and he certainly wouldn't have gone to your work to see if you were okay,"
"What do you mean?"
"Erin messaged me and told me he showed up there,"
"Oh," I was in shock
"And I'm pretty sure he still feels the same way you do,"
"How do you know that?" I asked, I was still crying
"Anne told me last night that he broke up with Bryana and told her everything," she said, I was definitely in shock at my mum's words, "he'd also told Anne Marie that he was still in love with you when he called her a couple of days after he got here,"
"Then why couldn't he say it back?" I was crying even harder than before, if that was possible