Maybe It Was Meant To Be (A Marianas Trench Fanfic)

Chapter 17

***JOSH’S POV***

“I love you, Josh,” I heard her call from the bedroom. I ignored her again.

She’d been calling to me for the last few minutes. I, of course, had ignored them all. But after that call, it stopped. I remember wondering why she hadn’t called for me again.

Eventually, I decided to go check on her. Thinking she probably had just went to the bathroom or something, I walked fairly slowly.

I dragged myself down the hall, the wood floor cold on my bare toes. When I got to the door, I hesitated. I wasn’t ready to get back into the fight. But although the hesitation grew, I opened the door still. What I saw still haunts me.

Ariana, looking like a ghostly doll, sprawled on her stomach across the bed with a hand still on the nightstand. On the nightstand, there was an empty bottle of Vicodin as well as a large, empty bottle of whiskey.

“No. No, no, no, no. Fuck,” I rushed to her side and stroked her hand, which still had a touch of warmth in it. “Fuck, babe. Don’t go. Please, please don’t go. I’m sorry.”

A dewey sweat was forming on my brow and I pulled my phone from my pocket to dial for paramedics.

“Please baby, don’t leave me. I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’m sorry,” I whispered, putting the phone to my ear.

---

I’d been pacing the waiting room for nearly an hour now, with still no word from anyone about Ariana’s condition. During my wait, I called Matt, Mike, Ian, and Brittany; all of which showed up and were sitting here with me. Brittany and I were the only ones crying, although the guys looked as if they were about to at any moment.

“What if she doesn’t make it,” Brittany muttered out, no emotion present in her voice. The way she said it didn’t even sound like a question.

“She will,” I glared over my shoulder at her, my eyes glossy with fresh tears.

“But what if she fucking doesn’t?” she glared back at me, “Then what?”

“I’m not sure what I’d do,” I looked forward again, blinking tears away. “But she’s gonna make it, so I suppose I don’t have to worry too badly, eh?”

I felt her stare go away from me. Ian, who sat in front of me, looked up. I followed his gaze to see a doctor walking towards us. He carried a clipboard with a stack of papers as thick as a novel attached to it. I couldn’t read his expression.

“Are any of you here for Ariana Dawson?” he asked, very diplomatically.

“Yes,” we all said, almost in unison.

“I’ve got good news and bad news. Which would you like to hear first?” he brought his eyes up from his clipboard for a moment before putting them back down.

“Good news,” I whispered.

“Very well. The good news, is she’s alive,” he looked up at us again, examining each of our reactions.

“Really? Holy shit. That’s fantastic,” I let out a sigh of relief and smiled weakly. The rest of them were smiling when I looked back at them.

“Yes. Now for the bad news. I regret to inform you that Ariana is in a coma. We don’t know yet how long she will be, but by the looks of her scans, I doubt it’ll be very soon. I’m very sorry. Also, like you predicted when you called, it seems as if this was a suicide attempt. I suggest that when she wakes up, you help her seek guidance in this time of need,” his face was grim as he said this. He didn’t bother to take his eyes off his clipboard at all. “I’ll give you time to grieve by yourselves for a moment. When you’re ready, feel free to come visit her one at a time.”

He gave us a very sympathetic and apologetic look before turning on his heel and walking in the other direction back to the room where Ariana was.

None of us really said anything for at least five minutes. We all stared blankly at each other, truly horrified by the news we had received.

Eventually, my craving to see her became too unbearable.

Without a word, I stood up from the cold tile floor I had stationed myself on and slowly walked to the room she was in. I knocked once before opening the door a crack and peeking in. The first thing I saw was a lot of artificial light. It was unbearably bright in the room; I had to squint at the ground for a few seconds before my vision was clear again. I looked up to see a middle-aged nurse smiling at me. She was sitting at the foot of the bed.

“Are you the boyfriend?” she said, cautiously.

“Fiancé actually,” I murmured.

“I’m very sorry,” her eyes were very sympathetic. “Would you like me to leave for a moment?”

“If that’s alright, then please,” I whispered. I hadn’t even looked at Ariana yet and was already close to tears. The nurse nodded and left promptly.

I kept my head down as I pulled myself closer to the side of the bed. The first thing I saw was her arm, which was several shades lighter than it usually is. It was covered in fresh cuts—something I hadn’t noticed earlier because of her long sleeves. I softly brushed my fingers against them. I brought myself to look up at her face. I couldn’t help but break down at the sight of her. The skin on her face and neck were even paler than her arms. She looked very soft. Her cheeks were still stained with tears and there was a faint ring of dried blood around the rim of her lips. Her hair framed her face nicely, with a middle part, even though it was extremely frizzy. There were tubes attached to her nose and both arms. She looked like she was sleeping. I suppose she sort of was, in a very twisted and sad way.

I leaned down and kissed her forehead, which was much warmer than I expected it to be.

“I love you,” I tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled underneath my tears. “I hope you wake up, darling.”

I sat down in the chair by her bed. Grabbing her hand, I quietly sang to her:

“If your heart wears thin, I will hold you up

And I will hide you when it gets too much

I’ll be right beside you

I’ll be right beside you

Nobody will break you.”

I burst into an uncontrollable sob after that line.

“Nobody will break you except for me, right?” I slammed my hand down on the arm of the chair. “I’m so sorry I hurt you, baby. I’m so fucking sorry.”

I slammed my hand against the chair’s arm at least three times more before the nurse poked her head back in.

“Is everything alright in here?” her eyes were worried.

“Just peachy,” I said between sobs. “Thanks,” I came off really cold when I said that. Fuck.

“Okay,” she began to shut the door again.

“I’m sorry for acting the way I am.”

“Don’t be, sweetie. I understand. Your wife-to-be is in the hospital. If I were you, I’d be doing much more than hitting that chair and being slightly non-talkative to a nurse. I’m here to help,” she smiled and shut the door.

“Thank you,” I whispered, laying my head down on Ariana’s chest.

Her chest rose with every weak breath she took in. Her heartbeat was faint.

“Please wake up, Ari. Please.”

[A/N: I'm sorry for the long ass wait for this one, guys. I've had the worst writer's block and I've been really busy on top of that. I'm reaaaaally sorry for the intense and awful cliff hanger from last time. Hopefully this fixed that???? Maybe????]

c;