Maybe It Was Meant To Be (A Marianas Trench Fanfic)

Chapter 14

***JOSH'S POV***

(A week later)

Ever since I picked her up that day, she's barely said a word. I tried speaking to her the whole night but she just went straight to bed once we were home and buried her head in her pillow.

I called all the guys, plus Brittany, and told them all what happened. They all offered to come over, but when I asked Ari she just shook her head in her pillow.

I doubt she wants to see anyone right now.

Not even me.

Ouch.

***ARIANA'S POV***

Josh has been really great.

I know I've been pushing him away all week. He's been dealing with that really well. And thank god he didn't make me see anyone right away. I'm too embarrassed. Almost too embarrassed for Josh to see me. I don't want anyone to see me.

Or touch me.

I know Josh will eventually make me see my friends again. I'm nervous for that day. I'm not quite sure know how I'll handle it-probably by breaking down, I imagine.

Tap, tap, tap.

I flinched at every footstep, even though I knew they were Josh's. It's just too familiar a sound.

"Ari," Josh cautiously poked his head through the doorway, "Matt's coming over."

My heart dropped quickly after he said the words.

"No."

"Ariana, he's not going to judge you. Not even if you cry. He's here to help," he sighed, moving towards me slowly.

"I don't want him to see me like this," I looked across the room to the mirror. My hair was a mess, knotted together on the top of my head; making it appear shorter than it is, my makeup is and has been nonexistent for the last week, and I'm wearing one of Josh's shirts, which comes to my thighs. I'd say the worst part about me is my eyes though. They're much emptier than before. They just look... sad. And there are dark, purple bags under them. Looking at myself makes me realize even more so how much more fucked up I am now.

"Like he'll care. Ariana, he's worried about you. All the guys are worried about you. Brittany is worried about you," he softly sat down on the bed and set his hand on my crossed leg, making me flinch, "I'm worried about you."

"Please, we're all so worried. If you can handle seeing him, then eventually you'll be able to see everyone again. Please, Ari. He's already on his way. I know you can do this," he leaned down to softly kiss my forehead before swiftly leaving the room.

Not long after that, there was a distant knock at the front door.

I guess I have my first visitor.

I only had to wait a few moments before Matt was peeking through the crack of the door.

"Hi Ari," he said with a smile, which I could see was starting to falter as he got closer to me.

"Hi Matt," I grinned half-heartedly until I saw Matt's face. His smile was gone and was looking at me with sad eyes. I adjusted my expression to match his.

He sat down on the bed and didn't say a word, which made me slightly uncomfortable. I pulled the sheets over myself and slowly blinked my eyelids shut for a moment.

Soon enough, he seemed to snap out of his little trance.

"You smell, you know," he joked, poking my hand.

"I haven't really left the bed all week. Only to go to the bathroom," I chuckled darkly. His friendly grin kind of faded when I said that. Oops.

He sighed, "I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't be."

"But I am. You know I love you," he paused and made a face, "kind of in a sisterly sort of way though."

"Love you too... bro," I smiled, slightly.

"Good. Anyways, Josh went out to meet Mike for something. I don't know what. I could bring a movie in here and we could watch it if you want. You know, some fake-sibling bonding...?" he suggested.

"That'd be cool," I agreed, "You know, 'Mean Girls' is out in the living room..." I hinted.

He chuckled, "Ha-hah, I'll go get it." He got up and left the room after he said that, but was only gone for a few moments before he stepped back into the room and towards the small television.

He came back over and sat next to me on the bed and grabbed a bit of blanket to snuggle up into. I smiled at him. It was nice spending some quality time with Matt again. It's been a while.

"I'm glad you're okay, Ariana," he said suddenly, taking me by surprise.

"Oh, er, thanks," I coughed out.

"You are okay, right?" he looked at me a moment as the movie started to play.

I sighed, "I guess. I mean, it's really been tough. Even just seeing you was a huge fear for me all week," his eyes looked sad as I said this, "But obviously I'm happy you're here now. I don't know though, I guess I'm alright, maybe. As alright as I can be, considering I was raped just last week." I mustered a dry chuckle as I finished my sentence and made an attempt to cover the still noticeable bruises all over my arms.

"I wish I knew who did it."

"Why?"

"I would hurt him," I widened my eyes at that remark, "Honestly, as bad as that sounds I would. I hate his guts, whoever did it."

"Trust me, I do too. What a dick, eh?" I chuckled again.

"You don't have to stay strong about this you know, Ari. You've been staying strong all your life. You have a right to be weak right now," he looked at me, which made me self conscious of my appearance again, even though I don't need to impress Matt at all.

"I know," that's all I could mutter out. I was scared I would cry if I said much more after that. It's kind of weird how he could get to me that easily, just by saying that. We both know I'm being stronger than I should be in this situation. It's only a matter of time before I completely breakdown. I'm still waiting for that.

He kind of pulled me closer for a hug and yelled "I love you, fake sistaaaaaa!" as he squeezed me even harder. I laughed for real this time, probably for the first time in a while.

"Love you too, fake brother. Now can we actually watch the movie....?" I pointed to the TV.

"Oh, I totally forgot about that. Damnit, Ariana! Got me distracted with all that deep emotional shit!" he joked.

"Sorry, dude! You wanna be my friend? You gotta deal with the dark stuff," I played along, play punching his arm.

Maybe it's good for me to be interacting with people again--especially people like Matt, who can keep my mind off of dark stuff when he realizes he needs to. Maybe I'll be able to see the rest of the guys (and Brittany) sometime soon.