Dedicated to CelestialHeart for being such an amazing reader! I love your comments!
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RECAP:Will left Jade in the hospital bed after they made love because he realized he couldn't be a good boyfriend to her because he didn't have closure from Sarah. Jade went crazy when Will left, and discovered that Madeleine (Mads) is a bartender because her family lost all their wealth. Jade was then comforted by Cameron, who is now her boyfriend, much to Porscha's disdain. While returning Porscha's phone, which Cleo stole at the dress fitting for Alice's wedding (she's marrying Mr. Lawson- the math teacher), Jade finds out that Porscha has 2-year old daughter by Cameron, but he doesn't know about her. Porscha has begged Jade not to tell for her daughter, Pippa's sake, but Jade believes Cameron has the right to know and has given Porscha 24 hours to tell Cameron. But this chapter is about Will and what he's been up to.
Chapter 37- Facing the Past
Will’s POV
The only thing on my mind while I was on the plane was Jade. How her almost dirty blonde hair used to blow in the wind when we went to the beach. How her head felt on my chest. How she always smelled of vanilla and most of all how she would look at me with her blue-green eyes as a smile slowly formed on her soft pink lips. Would I ever get to kiss them again? Did she still love me? Or did she hate me? Even when I dozed off, a thousand miles in the air, I only thought of her.
I had been back home for a week and she was still on my mind. I still hadn’t done what I came to do. I needed to face my past. I needed to face Sarah.
Knock, knock!
“Come in,” I yelled as I sat up on my bed where I had been lounging.
I was surprised to see my mother who had barely looked at me since I’d come back. Her brown hair was straight as usual and she was wearing a grey pinstriped pantsuit. She looked out of her comfort zone as she uneasily looked around her. She finally decided to sit beside me on my bed.
“Hi Will,” she said, giving me a small, semi-genuine smile. It was the same smile she gave all her real-estate clients. Her hazel eyes however, gave her away because they were still just as cold and unforgiving as ever.
I didn’t answer her.
She folded her hands in her lap and played with her wedding ring. “It’s been quiet, without you, you know,” she started. She looked up at me and considered reaching out to me, but decided against it. “We missed you.”
“That’s great, mom,” I replied, refusing to look at her.
We feel into the usual uncomfortable silence.
“I- I’m trying, you know, to reach out to you. Don’t push me away, Will,” she pleaded.
I looked at her. She was playing with her wedding ring, and her eyes showed that she was being genuine. I narrowed my eyes. “You’re getting divorced aren’t you?” I stated.
She looked down. “How did you know?” she asked.
I smiled bitterly. “The only time you make an effort to reach out to me is when you have bad news.” I thought back to the time when she told me Sarah didn't make it. I had guessed it, but I had been hoping she had. My mother had walked in the exact same way, trying to make small talk before dropping a bomb that would burn my world to pieces.
“That’s not fair Will.”
“Isn’t it? You have your perfect little world planned and you cut out everything that doesn’t fit. You started with me,” I spat, in an unforgiving tone.
“Well, why couldn’t you be a girl? Why couldn’t I have what I wanted?” she asked unapologetically, as if it was my fault. That would have stung if I hadn't realized years ago, that she was the one with the problem, not me.
I shook my head at her. “You need to get over it and grow up mom! You don’t always get exactly what you want. Sometimes you’ve been blessed with something without even realizing it, and once you lose it, you’re gonna have to fight to get it back,” I snapped. I got up and grabbed my black leather jacket from the marble floor. I stormed through the cold airy hallways and down the stairs, through the kitchen and to the garage where my black Harley Davidson was parked. I put on my helmet and turned the handlebars. I was about to take my own advice.
I pulled up to the black gates of the graveyard that I should have visited years ago. Two huge weeping willows arched over the entrance. I parked my motorcycle and took off my helmet. There was something eerily calm about this place. I walked the stone-paved path through the graveyard, searching for the gravestone that read Sarah Parker.
The sun was shining, birds were chirping and there was a light breeze that rustled through the trees. I was calmly walking through a row of gravestones when I saw it. Sarah Parker. Beloved daughter, granddaughter and friend. You will be missed. June 5, 1994-April 9, 2009, was engraved in gold letters on a black granite tombstone. This was almost 3 years ago, I reminded myself.
I sat down on the ground and stared at the tombstone. “Hey Sarah,” I started. “I know I’m late, but you know I’ve never been good with things like this… I miss you… " I paused. "I miss our good times… You know I didn’t come to your funeral because I was so mad at you. I couldn’t believe that you… did it.” I looked off to the side and then at my hands. “I know this is stupid, and you probably won’t hear me, but I forgive you. You did what you thought you had to do. The first few seconds after you did it. I was shocked. I didn’t believe my eyes and then I got so angry and I just wanted to forget you ever existed. I partied. I got wasted. I got high, but at the end of the day, it didn’t change the fact that I still loved you… I wish I had told you that… I love you… But now I met a great girl. Her name is Jade. She is beautiful. She has the same slow smile you do, but she’s different. She loves life and she’s full of it. She’s always trying to help people. She doesn’t even realize that sometimes she is the only light in my world,” I rambled. “You always said I would find a girl like that… I did it Sarah, but I keep messing things up with her. I want to be everything she wants, but I always come back to you. How you just left me in the blink of an eye. How she might realize she doesn’t want me and leave me in the blink of an eye.” A gust of wind rushed through the graveyard, blowing my hair back. “I want to win her back, but I don’t know if she’ll take me back after everything.” I was silent for a while, just letting it all sink in. I usually didn’t do sappy crap like this, but it was the only way I could think of letting go of Sarah so that I could win Jade back.
“My parents are getting divorced," I continued. "My mom’s still the same old selfish woman she was when you knew her. Apparently my dad doesn’t fit into her ‘plan’ either. It’s not just me. But my parents’ love has always been bullsh*t. They never fought for it. That’s what love’s about, isn’t it?" I asked. I sat in silence for a while just enjoying the time I was spending here, letting go of everything. "Well it was nice talking to you Sarah. I hope you forgive me for not coming sooner,” and with that I got up and gave the grave one last look, before going back to my Harley Davidson. It was dusk now. The sky was a beautiful orangey pink color. I put on my helmet before driving off into the sunset.
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Perfectly Bad
Novela Juvenil"Jadelynn Genevieve Berkshire! That's it! I've had it with you and your stints. I'm sending you to live with your father!" my mother had yelled. I had shrugged and said "Whatever." I mean, how many times had she said that? No matter what I did, she...
