I DO <3

Teardrop Astray

She leaned in and hug me. I felt a wave of warm feeling gently flow through my being. It was a gentle but rough hug like its telling me something more, something deep, something like good bye. Her hold tightened a bit and like before, her touch always send that electric spark all through out my nerves.

She whispered something I didn't quite comprehend cause people were talking all at once. She pulled away and settled on her sit just as everyone is settling back. I look at her and somehow, what I can make out of that whisper goes in the line ----- Its too late

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GARETTE'S POV:

I look at Raf beside me and I can clearly see confusion written in every detail of her perfect features. I still can't believe she kissed me.

SHE. FREAKING. KISSED. ME!

I was completely blown away by the gesture that I hadn't even had the time to respond to her kiss cause she pulled away too soon.

I don't know if I'll be glad the kiss happened or sad that it will never happen again.

After that earth-shattering kiss, I know I will compare that 3 second kiss to every kiss I'll have in the future.

I look at her again and I can't help but feel a tinge of pity on her. Right now, I know that she's bothered with what happened. I know cause I'm also bothered but for a different reason. I'm bothered cause I know that she's straight and I'm gay and that my feelings toward her is getting stronger by the minute.

I had been to multiple relationships before and never in my entire life --- as in NEVER --- that I felt this way. Its different. Its way too strong to ignore. Its just undeniably too surreal to even consider avoiding it.

Raf has been smiling pleasantly to everyone but I can see through that act. I know deep down that she is battling the confusion she's feeling right now and my heart tightly squeezed in my chest as I try to think of something that can ease her mind.

I don't know how she feels about the kiss but one thing I know, is I'm gonna give up everything just to feel her lips against mine. Just one more time.

Her lips, the upper part is fuller than the lower, soft and slightly chapped. But that actually added to the intense taste as she press her lips to mine. If I had known I'll be kissing her, I should have done something than stand there motionless.

Argh! My head is slightly aching as I rummage my brain for something.

DAMN! I can't keep my eyes off her. I find my hand slowly making its way towards hers. I squeezed her hand gently, reassuring her that everything is going to be fine. That nothing changed.

I don't want to think that the kiss was a mistake cause it felt far from being a mistake. Its the rightest thing that ever happened to me.

She looked at me and I smiled. I hope my smile did not came out fake. This is the least thing I can do for now since I can't talk to her about what happened.

Paul suddenly stood up and saying that they got some announcement.

I was unaware of what was happening all throughout dinner cause the only thing that my mind can focus is the girl sitting beside me.

I quite figure out what the announcement is. Of course! What did I expect?

I watch her as Paul gently pull her up and I feel needle-like prick on my chest. My heart being squeezed and stomped inside my rib cage. She looked at me for a second before completely standing up.

I'm smiling all throughout their announcement and I watch her relax in his arms. Her smile being vibrant and I know that I don't stand a chance with her.

And as he leaned in to kiss her softly, I looked away.

Now I know what it felt like to fall from the sky and hit the ground so hard, you don't even want to stay alive. Cause when you do open your eyes after that fall, you won't be able to do those usual things normal people would.

Yeah, I'm definitely crushed. I feel my veins turn cold, making its way towards my heart, turning me empty. My soul slowly but surely being ripped away from my body. My knees going weak, my hands shaking slightly.

I'm feeling all these but its only for me to know. I composed myself.

Breathe.

Just breathe.

I told myself over and over.

After their kiss, people started congratulating them, giving them hugs and pecks. I sat here, not knowing what to do. I should be happy she found someone as good as Paul. I should be!

I gathered all my strength to move and walked towards Paul.

"I'm glad it worked out!" I exclaimed, sounding enthusiastic about the whole engagement as I gave him a peck. I hope I do sound like it cause deep down, all I wanna do is breakdown and wallow in self pity. "It was a genius plan, isn't it?"

"Yeah it was and I owe you big time for that." He said giving me a friendly hug.

I hug him back and jokingly said, "Nah.. you owe me my paycheck!" I said laughing. Whoa, did that sounded a bit much superficial, the laugh. I hope not. I need to put up this front until this dinner is done.

Other people whom I was introduced earlier started mingling. I'm not in the mood to chit-chat so all I give are simple answers.

I spotted Raf sitting on her seat. I moved swiftly towards her. I need to end whatever it is, too sad nothing really happened. Well, I wish there was something more, I thought sadly.

I slightly tap her shoulder.

"I'm happy for you." I said, the smile still plastered on my lips.

She cleared her thought and smiled. "Thanks."

Saying that makes my heart constrict an extra know. I can't breath. I just can't let it go. Not now, that everything about her felt right, that I finally felt something more than just a pass time.

Maybe this is how karma rolls. Gets to bite you in a flash without you even knowing its coming. And what's worse is the venom slowly spread in every part of you, making you suffer before it plunges a liter of black lava on your heart. Then all you can do is wish for death.

I hug her one last time. I hope the message of this hug was clear. And I truly hope I'm making the right choice. A tear drop escape my eyes and my hold on her tightened a bit as I erase the trace of that salty liquid becoming astray.

"You were the right one but now its just too late." I whispered too quietly just for me to hear. I let go and settled on my seat as everyone is settling down.

And I know when this dinner is over, I'm leaving my heart to this one pretty girl I met a couple hours ago.

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OKAY! this is a short chappie.. just Garette's POV.. i just need to post that before moving to another scene.. or whatever you guys call it..

I hope you do enjoy! and THIS IS NOT THE END! LOL! THE FUN IS JUST ABOUT TO START! ^^ and pretty people, I know your all clueless right now ----- EVIL LAUGH ----- but yeah, don't you guys worry! I have some ideas but I don't have the time to write.. so I'm posting this chap cause I'm busy with work as of the moment.. but don't worry, I'll write as soon as I get the chance.. ^^ two chaps in a day --- that just made me awesome, aren't I? LOL.. or maybe not!

STAY PRETTY AWESOME! <3 you guys bunches!! ^^

PS: DID NOT PROOF READ! SORRY FOR ERRORS!

I LOVE THE SONG AT THE SIDE SO LISTEN TO IT WHEN READING THIS ONE! ITS AWESOME! ^^ (I can't find a nice vid of the song.. but ENJOY!)