"Thank you." I mumble under my breath as Kyle holds the door open for me, letting me step into the small coffee shop first.
I didn't actually think I'd see the day where I was going to be hanging with Kyle while being in another relationship, completely disregarding my previous feelings for him.
"I'll order for you, what'd you like?" Kyle asks standing next to me, I clear my throat, quickly scanning the menu.
"Um just a cappuccino." I say and he nods and watches me as I go near the back and hold a booth for us.
I didn't exactly know what to expect today. I read his letter and he's basically apologized a million times, maybe we can just pretend nothing ever happened and become friends again instantly. Pft, if that's how life worked.
I was just hoping the Kyle did most of the talking. He was always way more confident then me, he should be able to hold a conversation.
"Here ya go." He says placing the cup infront of me, he slides in across from me, a latte in his hands.
"Thanks." I mumble sipping my drink, my eyes locked onto the little dark stain in the middle of the table.
"It's fine, I also want to say thank you for actually giving me a chance and coming to have coffee with me." He says and I nod, stifling a smile so he knows I understand.
"It's nothing.." I chuckle awkwardly, this whole situation was awkward. Kyle nods at me, our booth falling silent, this is not how I pictured this being.
"So.." I say, tapping my fingers on the table.
"So you read my letter..." Kyle says and I nod, licking my dry lips because I knew what was coming next.
"What'd you think of it?" He asks shyly, playing with a sugar packet that was on the table.
"Um... Well.... I uh.. I forgive you." I stutter nervously, I move my hands to my lap, since they begin to sweat and tremble slightly due to nerves. Keep it cool, Kat.
"Are you sure? Like after this we'll be good?" Kyle asks with hope laced in his voice.
"Well yeah, I don't keep grudges. It is what it is." I shrug, finally bringing my eyes to Kyle's who's staring at me intensely with wide eyes, a small smile on his lips.
"That's great, I hope you know from here on out I don't intend to hurt you." Kyle says and I nod.
"I hope not." I mutter, sending Kyle a grin.
"Did you read anything else in that letter..." Kyle says wearily and I nod, a sigh leaving my lips.
"Yes, and I don't exactly feel comfortable about it..." I admit, biting down on my lip.
"But it's true, I lov-"
"Don't say it." I cut him off closing my eyes as if that was a way I could shield myself from his words.
"Why not?"
"Because I don't want to here you say it... I'm in a relationship, Kyle." I say shaking my head.
"So? I'm single so I can proclaim my love for you." I shut my eyes at his words, cringing. Him saying it out loud just didn't make this situation any better, or my conscience any better.
"Well... Just... You.. You can't say you love me, you don't even know me." I say shaking my head. He did know me actually, but not as well as he thought he knew me.
"I do know you Kat. I know everything about you. I know you don't have a good relationship with your mother or brother because of the feuding battle between your fathers love. I know you left college because you couldn't handle it all. I know all the little things about you, the whole 'not looking in my eyes' facade you did back in high school, I know you Kat." Kyle says and I'm actually surprised. I'm caught off guard and surprise and I'm trying to keep my heart from not pumping 10 times faster but it does and I hate that it does.
"I-uh... There's a lot that happened after that night at my apartment Kyle, it didn't look good for me and... Well you weren't there.. Ashton was." I say strangely feeling bad for bringing up Ashton, but I shouldn't, I remind myself.
"Look Kat, just answer me this." Kyle says leaning back against the seat of the booth. "Is there any possible way that you could still have feelings for me? I'd like to think you do but this guy, this guy Ashton is just distracting you from what's really in there."
I shake my head at him,, shutting my eyes so I can quickly recollect my thoughts - but they were already too jumbled up.
"I don't.. Have feelings for you..." I whisper, looking in Kyle's eyes. He quickly looks away and out the window, pinching his nose.
"I don't believe that."
"Well what do you want me to say, Kyle?" I say exasperatedly. "You randomly pop into my life after walking out and you basically say you love me! What do you want me to do?" I ask, already reevaluating my choice of coming here with him. I run my hand through my hair, leaning my head into my palms.
"I guess I expected you to just fall in love with me and make everything better." Kyle says quietly and now I feel like I've hurt his feelings.
"Look Kyle, I'm not going to lie.. I...I loved you for a very long time.. But feelings change. Ashton was there with me and you weren't, I can't simplify it much more." I say quietly, watching as Kyle nods his head to my words, his bottom lip between his teeth.
"That doesn't make me love you any less." Kyle says and I sigh, leaning back against the booth.
"Yeah, I would know." I reply quietly, I didn't know what else to say to him. He loves me. I'm in a relationship with someone I love. There's no other options out there.
"I-I just wish... You'd give me a chance. I would be the perfect guy for you. I know I would. I'd buy you flowers everyday and kiss you all the time and love you so damn much." Kyle rambles and I visibly shrink down, I didn't want to hear this from him. But I didn't want him to stop either.
"We would have amazing dates, you'd always try to pay but I'd deny you and you'd get all upset and after everything we'd just end up curled up, not even bothering with the world around us." Kyle continues, staring directly into my eyes and I kind of get the feeling he's doing this in purpose to lure me back into him or something, I'm not quite sure what it's doing to me yet..
"I'm so happy we are going to continue to be friends but Kat, don't expect romantic tendencies to not come out when I'm with you." Kyle says and I gulp. That can't be good. I can't go hang out with Kyle for an hour then come home with a teddy bear and flowers to Ashton.
"Um.. Ashton, he uh, he's a great guy." I randomly start out, watching as Kyle tries to not roll his eyes.
"He is." I say and Kyle sighs heavily, scratching at his head.
"I can't say anything bout the guy, he has my girl and I have no idea what he's like." Kyle says nonchalantly. But for me, I'm screaming on the inside, unsure of whether to correct him and say that I'm not his girl.
"He... He calls me his girl.." I mumble quietly watching as Kyle chuckles sarcastically, he makes a hmph sound, "I'd love to meet the guy, formally."
I let out an uneasy chuckle, shaking my head at him. "Yeah that isn't the best idea out there.." Kyle chuckles at my words, his fingers playing with his bottom lip cockily.
"Why? Does he not like me?" He challenges and I shake my head. "He doesn't know you...that much.." I say with doubt, obviously Kyle doesn't believe me when he chuckles into his drink.
"He probably hates my guts." He says muffled through his cup as he sips his drink.
I let out a chuckle as well, it was blatantly obvious that Ashton wasn't fond of Kyle.
"Something like that.."
-
This is just the beginning ladies & gents :)
