"Your right, it is your life but I don't want you to make an irrational decision and then be all depressed about it afterwards because then who has to pick up the pieces? Me."
Ashton had pushed me to the edge when he said that. I was seeing red, flames coming out my ears if this was a cartoon. That was such an asshole thing to say. Such a hurtful thing to say to me, and he knows that yet he said it.
Sure I didn't want to quit but I couldn't continue to blow Nathan off and I couldn't just bullshit my work, that would be more worse than me quitting.
And Ashton should be thankful I've stayed home with him. He should be happy I haven't been going out and living life without him, no, instead I stay home with him, helping him with anything and everything. He's so ungrateful.
He doesn't understand that I practically revolve my life around him. And maybe he was right, maybe I didn't have to do everything for him but how could I not? I'm not the type of person to not lend a hand when someone needs it.
I continue to pace my bedroom, running my fingers through my tangled hair. You haven't washed your hair in days. He was right with that one. I hated the oily feeling but I just haven't had much energy to deal with my locks.
"He wants me to go out, I'll go out then." I mumble to myself, deciding quickly that I need to get out the small apartment. A beer sounds nice.
I through my black bomber jacket on, sliding my feet into my boots, grabbing my phone and purse quickly.
I'll show him.
With one last look over, I unlock my door only to be met with Ashton staring up at me, his knees touching mine, his hands gripping the wheels of his wheelchair.
"I'll be back." I say quickly walking around him, not giving him time to say anything.
"Kat, listen - I didn't mean that, I'm sorry." Ashton says quickly but I don't let his apology get to me as I open the door and step out, repeating for the second time.
"I'll be back."
-
"So your quitting?" Jesse asks, her eyebrows knitted together as she sips on her beer.
I sigh, my index finger skimming the rim of my glass. "Yes...? I - I don't know..." I mumble, my shoulders slouching.
My phone vibrates on the table for the umpteenth time tonight and I roll my eyes, stuffing it deep into my purse. Jesse watches me intently, an eyebrow arched.
"Just answer it, your worrying him." She says and I ignore her, taking a sip of my drink, my eyes floating around the semi crowded room.
"You can't ignore life's problems." Jesse says and I scoff, chuckling lightly.
"Tell me about it." I say looking down at my lap, my fingers twiddling with one another.
"What even is the root of this problem? Are you mad that he doesn't want you to quit your dream job? Or because he said your hair is shit?" She says and we both chuckle. "I'm missing what's the big deal here."
Another long sighs leaves my lips as I sink deeper into the seat, I gulp before speaking.
"He told me that if I quit - when I quit, he'd have to pick up my 'depressed' pieces. And he also isn't recognizing everything I do for him, he doesn't get it." I shake my head, my jaw clenching slightly.
"He said that?" Jesse asks in disbelief.
"Along the lines, yeah." I nod, taking a rather large gulp of my drink. "He said he didn't mean it after he said it, but obviously he did if he said it in the first place."
Jesse looks unsure, her shoulders shrugging. "Well... Guys say stupid shit just to get under our nerves, just for us to see their point..."
I chuckle once again, looking at Jesse with an eyebrow raised. "What's the point in that?"
"Boys are dumb, they don't have the best logic." She chuckles causing me to laugh, a nod coming afterwards.
"I guess." I mumble, feeling the vibrating sensation on my outer thigh, where my purse is. I wish my heart didn't flutter at Ashton's worrying tendencies but it does, regret instantly filling me.
"I'm a bitch, ain't I?" I say out loud, groaning in my hands.
"This is where you fuck up Kat. Just because you realize that Ashton, or anyone, is not at fault you blame yourself. Which you shouldn't. It's no ones fault." Jesse says and I nod slightly. When did she become so good at advice?
"But I am, ain't I?" I ask peaking through my fingers.
Jesse pinches her fingers together, closing one eye as she raises her fingers in front of her other eye. "Just a tiny bit."
We both end up laughing, ordering another round of drinks because we both needed something to fill the empty void we had deep inside of us - or maybe it was just me.
-
Short chapter, but hey! How are you guys?
