"Can I help you with anything?" A sweet voice speaks to me, I turn to the girl, her name tag reading Christine.
"I'm good thanks." I reply, I was already anxious as it was looking at the rows and rows of medicine - I didn't need this girl to help me with it.
"Okay well you let me know." She says with a smile, walking out of the aisle I stood in.
I turn back to the array assortment of medicines and vitamins and pills. I didn't want to take medicine. I didn't want to be that person. The ill ridden girl who got disgusted looks passed her way, I didn't want that.
But I had too, for Ashton's sake. If I don't take them willingly, I know Ashton would force them upon me one way or another.
I sigh when I notice exactly what the doctor told me about. It had a long name and I didn't really know what ingredients it had but I trust doctors to give me what I need.
Once I have two bottles of the pills in my hand, I decide to look at the gummy vitamins - as adolescent as I am, I could only take gummy vitamins because the pills leave a bad taste in your mouth.
I feel like a old lady when I grab the cardiovascular ones, under the brand Bayer. I've only seen old people in those commercials. I decide to put it back.
After minutes of deciding, I finally go up to the cash register. I place everything that's in my arms on the table in front of a guy, he's tall and angular - his name tag reads Christopher.
"Find everything alright?" He asks softly, scanning the bottles. I nod, taking out my wallet, I wanted to pay and go.
"Trying to stay healthy huh?" He tries to make conversation, I see that he has the vitamins in his hands and I nod, letting out a forced laugh.
"Something like that." He nods at me, finishing up the items , he reads out my total.
"$28.45" I don't respond, only swiping my card, being sick costs a lot.
"Here's your receipt, have a great day." He passes me my receipt and the bag. I smile at him swiftly before walking out of the store.
-
I'll never get use to parking in my own driveway, or walking up to my front door. It's weird and unusual for someone in their early twenties - I think. But it doesn't really matter, Ashton and I had already been accustomed to it no matter how weirded out I got every once in a while.
Maxie paws at my shins as I walk through the door so I'm quick to bend down, petting her so she can calm down. She does.
"Hey babe," Ashton says walking towards me, as I still stood by the door, my medicine filled bags in my hands.
"Hi." I reply, smiling at him, he pecks my cheek, his hands landing on my hips.
"Before you go and hide those pills from me, just know, I'm only trying to look out for you. I want you to be in tip-top shape, okay?" He says with a encouraging grin on his face.
I nod slowly at him, looking down at the bag between us. "I wasn't going to hide them." I respond and he chuckles, raising a brow. I can't help but grin too, because honestly, I might have.
-
"He's a cool guy, asked to go for some beers but I declined, I don't think drinking with my boss is the best - since it's so soon." Ashton continues on about his second day of work, I just watched him talk.
I never realized how vivid a talker he was. He used his hands a lot, his eyes wide with enthusiasm, his voice almost never ending as the words continuously tumbled out. He was an amazing speaker, even with half his body weight on me, I was still entranced in his story.
"Give it a week." I joke, he nods, his arms tightening around my torso as he nudged his head into my neck.
"God, you smell good." He randomly says through a sigh, his hot breath fanning my neck causing goosebumps almost instantly.
I chuckle, my hands on his shoulder blades. "I'd hope so." I respond, I continue to giggle as Ashton pecks along my neck, his nose nudging my hair.
"Me too." Ashton says lifting his head to face mine, his nose touches mine, his eyes are mischievous and I can't help but nervously smile back.
His eyes fall on to my lips not so subtly, and stay there, I'm still staring into his eyes, watching as his then travel up my face - back to my eyes, where his gives me a enticing grin. His eyes crinkle, and his pearly whites show.
"Your so beautiful." He says which only causes me to blush, heat rushes to my face almost instantaneously.
"I love you." He whispers as he pecks my lips, his eyes are open - waiting for me to reciprocate.
"I love you too." I say and he smiles, closing his eyes as he takes my lips between his. His hands are still tight around me, one slipping past my waist and towards my thigh, hitching my leg up so Ashton can fit in between my legs.
Ashton's breath hitches and I pull away slightly. "Fuck, your going to be the death of me you know that right?" He says, my face gets warmer and I look away from him.
He places his hand under my chin, turning me to face him seconds later. "Don't feel bad about it, you should be ecstatic with the control you have over me." Ashton chuckles softly, his thumb running over my bottom lip.
I don't know what exactly to say, either way we weren't going to go any farther since I just mentally can't. He knows this but every time we're in this position, it just makes me feel like shit, knowing I can't give myself to him, or vice versa. We'll never have that full connection.
"Stop it," he says like if I'm a child who's reaching for the forbidden cookie jar. "Don't do that, don't beat yourself up about it. Everything takes time, if you really want it resolved then try or don't, I'm not pressuring you - just stop putting that guilt on yourself." He says.
It's crazy how much he knows about me, how he knows what I'm thinking and what I hold over myself. He really does know me better than I do.
"It's just hard." I mumble, staring past him, up towards the ceiling. Maybe if I had a normal life, I wouldn't have to deal with this. I'm really not trying to get into my dark thoughts but I can't help it. Earlier when I took my first dose of medicine I couldn't help but read the side effects, one being depression.
I had just crawled out of my dark abyss and now I was being pulled back in. I didn't like this.
"Why don't we just not bring it up, I feel like it's partly my fault for always sort of hinting at it so let's just not be anywhere remotely sexual, okay? Till you feel comfortable." He says off the top of his head and I feel like he's just wanting to try and get me out of this darkness before I get drowned in it.
"Okay." I respond, he nods, rolling off of me and taking the space beside me.
It's silent between us, and suddenly I don't like this. I like feeling him.
As if he can read my mind, he grabs my hand - entwining our fingers. His brings our hands to his mouth, pecking the top of my hand.
"Love you."
"Love you too."
-
Short chapter! Next update Kat will be back at work and back into her normal routine so stay tuned lovelies !
