Panpipe
Pairing: Siwon/Henry (SiHen)
Summary: Henry moons over Siwon a lot.
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Everyone thinks that Henry and Ryeowook are dating, or flirting, or something, but they're totally not, Henry thinks, frustrated. Ryeowook is just his best friend, something that happened surprisingly quickly once Super Junior M formed, and something he's extremely grateful for. He's not sure what he would have done without Ryeowook.
Cried himself to sleep every night, probably. Well, okay, not exactly that, because Henry hasn't cried since he was eight years old and missed a trill on one of his violin pieces, but it'd be a similar feeling, at least.
Before Henry and Ryeowook had become friends, Henry had despairingly thought that he would never fit in with this subgroup, or the fans, or China, or that there would be some horrible scandal or some unfixable problem or--
Only there wasn't, and now he has a new best friend, a best friend in the same entertainment company as him, and a best friend who will stay with him even after SM decides SJM has had enough time being a unit.
So really, Henry is grateful for Ryeowook's friendship. He really doesn't know what he would have done without him but-- He thinks it would be nice to have a better relationship with the other members, because when Ryeowook's not around, he just feels awkward and unsure.
Okay, not with all of the other members, because he can sort of do things with Donghae, and Hankyung's not too bad, and Kyuhyun kind of avoids him and he and Zhou Mi have that bond of being the outsiders anyway but--
But Siwon makes things sort of awkward.
Well maybe it's not Siwon, actually. Maybe it's just Henry. Because he's sure that Siwon doesn't make his heart pound on purpose. He's sure Siwon doesn't mean to put butterflies in his stomach.
But yes, with Siwon, things are becoming difficult. Henry thinks he ought to be able to act normal with Siwon, to be able to participate in fanservice without his mind going blank, but he can't, so instead he snuggles up to Ryeowook whenever he can, because Ryeowook is a comforting presence.
And Henry is almost positive that he's seen Siwon glowering at them together more than once, which is completely unfair, because Henry would much rather be curled up with Siwon.
But really, the whole situation is ridiculous. Henry had a lot of guy friends who liked other guys back in Canada but he'd never once felt that way around one until Siwon, which is even more ridiculous, because surely if Henry was going to fall for a guy, it'd be someone like Ryeowook, who looks and acts like a girl in more ways than one.
But no, instead, he seems to have fallen for Siwon, the one guy in Asia who literally radiates manhood.
It's like the universe is playing some sort of cruel joke.
As time progresses, though, Henry slowly becomes more and more at ease--though never completely--around Siwon. And, because the universe is never kind to Henry, his being still slightly uncomfortable around Siwon means that of course Siwon has been whispering in his ear more than ever.
It really shouldn't make Henry so nervous. Ryeowook does whispers to him all the time, words fluttering across his cheek, he thinks, frowning, but it doesn't do anything funny to his insides. Even Donghae will whisper and rub his arm and yet Henry feels nothing.
But Siwon will lightly touch his arm and whisper, "Hey, did you catch that?" and suddenly Henry can't think.
It's really annoying, because Henry's Chinese would be a lot better if he could focus on speaking it and not focus on how big Siwon's hands are compared to his, and how that might feel if Siwon were to really touch him.
(Whenever Henry is around Ryeowook, he feels like a giant, dwarfing Ryeowook as they stand next to each other, and he feels awkward and ungainly. But when Henry is around Siwon, it's Siwon that's the giant, and instead of feeling awkward Henry just feels small and young and unsure. He's not certain it's a bad feeling.)
Henry is grumpier than ever.
Siwon always teases Henry about his Chinese, and has since even before Super Junior M started, way back when Henry was just The Violin Boy in Don't Don.
Henry doesn't really think it's fair, because it's not like Henry ever legitimately studied Chinese. It's just whatever he picked up while talking to his kooky grandmother who kept telling him he needed to marry a nice Taiwanese girl, and no a nice Chinese girl wasn't acceptable, she had to be Taiwanese, thank you very much.
Besides, at least Henry understands more than the rest of Super Junior M, he thinks petulantly.
"Your Chinese is still really bad. I think your Korean might even be better than your Chinese, and that's saying something," Siwon says, playfully pushing Henry's shoulder. (Henry ends up nearly falling off his chair.)
"Asshole," Henry mutters in English, mainly out of embarrassment.
Siwon quirks an eyebrow--Henry spends a few tantalizing moments thoroughly mesmerized by the action--and asks, "What did you just say?"
Henry's ears go completely red. He'd forgotten that Siwon can understand English, although Henry's pretty sure that all of Super Junior could recognize the word "asshole". They really seem to enjoy cursing in English. "Nothing," he mumbles, and heads out of the room.
He can hear Siwon laughing in the background, and almost swears that he hears him say, "Isn't Henry the cutest thing?"
As he walks into the practice room where Ryeowook is waiting for him, Ryeowook asks why he looks like a tomato, and Henry just buries his face in his hands and doesn't respond.
A few weeks later, Henry is once again wallowing. It's not enough that Siwon whispers in his ear, but now imagining Siwon's hands isn't that hard anymore becauseSiwon won't stop touching him.
Henry has to fight the urge to awkwardly jump away in surprise every time.
He still can't focus on his Chinese.
No one seems to notice how Henry's nerves are on fire except Ryeowook, which, Henry supposes, makes a lot of sense, considering they're best friends.
"Do you want to talk?" Ryeowook whispers one day when they're on stage, his arms wrapped around Henry's waist.
Henry leans back, and whispers, "Maybe later," because he's not sure he's ready to admit that he might have a thing for Siwon, especially not to Ryeowook, who has known Siwon for a really long time, much longer than Henry. It's too embarrassing.
But, Henry thinks, unfortunately it'd be even more embarrassing to talk about this with his best friends back in Canada.
He's sure they'd mention something about how back in Canada he only liked girls with big boobs; does the guy he like in China have big boobs too?
No, he'd rather not talk to them about it.
Henry is just beginning to think that maybe he ought to, you know, just go ahead and say "I really like you" to Siwon, but the day he finally steels his resolve to go through with it, he's sitting in the break room, and Siwon walks in, wearing a sleeveless shirt, bulging muscles (well, for Asia, anyway), and Henry's mouth goes annoyingly dry.
"I'm so tired," Siwon says, yawning and stretching (and showing off his nicely defined chest, which is visible through the fabric of his shirt at the moment), and Henry nods, dumbfounded.
(He doesn't understand; he was never this shy about girls back home.)
That's when Siwon sits beside him, and then lays his head in Henry's lap, saying, "Wake me up for the next take," and Henry decides that maybe things aren't all that bad, just the way they are.
He'll worry about telling Siwon later.
