Backstage

43 1 0
                                    

Coley-merrin

Pairing: Blohyuk

Summary: Sequel to Front of the House

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  People at the rap battles came and went. There wasn't any rhyme or reason to who stayed and kept on staying, or who faded away. The ones that did stay, he more or less knew. He had time enough to look at the crowd, see the boys that had dreams in their eyes, and the posers who wanted to belong, and the people who actually did. People were pretty fascinating as a whole, so many differences and purposes. Mostly, he thought of the rhymes and his friends. It wasn't like he was shallow. He recognized a face that caught his interest just like any other man. Tablo kind of dismissed it at first, not knowing if that was a face that was going to disappear. But he didn't. The wide-eyed face, the mouth open in unselfconscious wonder. He'd been that kid, once. Though times changed.

It didn't stop him from looking. So, it had been a whim that he'd pointed out Hyukjae in a crowd. He knew his name kind of by accident, catching snippets of conversation. He hadn't meant to attack him quite like he had, not with his mouth, or anything like it. He'd been curious about the book, the one Hyukjae seemed to be writing in every time Tablo's eyes went that way. Seeing the words on those pages, the words Hyukjae had transformed, of his own, of others, it was like letting all the doubts and blocks in himself to just roll away. Blowing him on the dusty couch without an ounce of self control. And everything appealing on that face had just looked more amazing, flushed and dazed, kissing Tablo back with a sweet earnestness. Was he getting sappy in his old age? Or maybe it had been the hand in his shorts.

He'd had half a mind to take Hyukjae home that night and keep him for at least a week. It'd take that long to work through all the things he wanted to do to and with him. But Hyukjae had snuck out when he'd gone into the bathroom. But he had the secret weapon, because Hyukjae had forgotten his notebook in his haste to get away. He couldn't say he blamed him for running, getting molested by some guy he barely knew. But it wasn't like he'd forced him. Not at all.

"You forgot something last week," Tablo said, grinning a little bit as Hyukjae poked his head into the back room, quiet as a mouse. He'd had a friend look out for Hyukjae when he came in. Asked to have him sent back. Mostly for the notebook. Kind of because Tablo was curious if all the want he'd felt before had just been some kind of frustration. As though that was at all possible.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I'll get out of your way."

"I'm kind of liking you in my way, though."

A full minute had passed before Hyukjae would meet his eyes, and a gasp as Tablo leaned to kiss him. It wasn't his fault, stepping forward until their progress was impeded, bodies locking together. Hyukjae moaning, pushing against his arm for one second before his fingers curled into the fabric of his jacket and held on. But there wasn't an ounce of relaxation in him. He kissed back only the barest minimum, as though too stiff to do more. It made him wonder.

He'd noticed in the last time, too, getting Hyukjae pressed up against the wall seemed to make him tense up like someone had a weapon on him. He didn't know, but he found that ridiculously adorable. This wasn't just some other guy on the street, trying to get into Tablo's pants or use him for his talent. This in Hyukjae was repressed desire, and deep thoughts that just oozed from him. Okay, so it was the looks that had caught Tablo's eye first, but he'd spent time the last week wandering that book, learning Hyukjae's mind. Clever little sketches of his own face on pages critiquing his words. It didn't look like some teenage girl with a crush, it was thoughtful. And a little sexy. He didn't want to be worshipped, but to think that there was a person out there that understood him? He couldn't help but want to know more. Still, until he could coax all that to come out, he had to try and sneak beneath that shell.

"Okay," he said, moving them so it was his own back against the wall, and Hyukjae pressed against him. Pressed because Tablo wasn't allowing him an inch to back away. "Let's try this."

With a quick slide of his tongue, Hyukjae wet his lips, staring at Tablo as though he wasn't real. But he could be patient. He really could, even while angling his face for easy access. If Hyukjae wanted it, he had to come and get it.

A hand gripped at Tablo's shoulder, as though to hold him steady. The only thing he would not do was close his eyes. He wanted to see every debate and emotion pass over that face. The drawn eyebrows as he all but lurched forward, stopping just short so those dark eyes slammed closed. With his hands on Hyukjae's ribs, he could feel the tiny inhale as their lips touched. And that was as far as his patience went, kissing back against the gentle pressure, assuring him it was wanted, that it was good. It was a bit like they were chasing each other, some kisses fleeting, others languorous. All with some kind of refreshing joy, and the knowledge that this time, he hadn't coaxed Hyukjae into anything. This was Hyukjae kissing him, not him being some kind of seducer. He didn't put too much stock in his power to do that, anyway.

Their eyes both flew open, lips still connected, as a knock echoed in the room. As Hyukjae nearly gave himself whiplash, they heard the ten-minute till the start announcement.

There was strain there, as he pressed one more kiss to Hyukjae's mouth. "I guess we better get out there."

"My notebook," Hyukjae blurted.

"Oh yeah. I guess you need it for tonight."

Reluctance didn't quite cover letting go of Hyukjae's hips, feeling a bit bow-legged as he rummaged for the little notebook.

"You're kind of a slick one," he said, staring at Hyukjae with a little frown. "If I give you this, I don't know if I'll ever see you again."

He didn't think he imagined the flush on those cheeks.

"I don't. Well, I—"

All sound stopped as Tablo's hand slipped into first one front pocket of Hyukjae's jeans, and then the other. He got a good idea of what he was missing by rushing out for the battle, but in the second pocket, he found what he was looking for, and held up his prize. Hyukjae's cell phone.

"You need the book to take your notes, but you don't need this. Come backstage after it's over, and I'll give it back to you."

Hyukjae's hand went out, like Tablo would somehow give him the phone back. "What? Why?"

Tablo couldn't help the chuckle. It probably wasn't very nice, slipping the phone into his own pocket and picking up his hat. "We'll talk after. Enjoy, yeah?"

They'd talk. But that wasn't really all Tablo had in mind.

***

Hyukjae found him after with a minimum of fuss, hanging off to the side as though he wasn't really waiting for anything, but staying there until Tablo had disengaged from the little group.

"Ready to go?" he asked. There were plenty of eyes on them, curiously, and Hyukjae seemed to be hyper aware of that. Staring over Tablo's shoulder for a second before nodding. Maybe some people were asking, why this one, why did this guy get special attention, get singled out of the crowd. But they were all part of some crowd, weren't they? In a neighborhood, a school, a city. There were circles of people around them far bigger than themselves. And yeah, it was improbable. But meeting anyone was improbable, much less someone that shared interests and some kind of fundamental understanding. And underneath that shyness, that real sort of awkwardness, it was something he could almost feel. He couldn't help but be drawn to it.

And time would tell if what he saw was just skin deep.

He'd kind of hoped, assumed, he'd be taking Hyukjae home with him. He conceded that he had maybe given the apartment a more critical eye before he'd left, but it was more or less how it usually was. A little clutter. It looked lived-in. He wasn't a total slob, but he was comfortable enough. It was just an apartment. It was functional. He had bookshelves, and a place to crash in front of the tv every so often, and a kitchen and a bed. That was pretty much all he really needed.

Hyukjae left his shoes at the door, stepping up into the apartment with quick movements. Eyes darting around as though if he were caught looking at any one thing for too long, he would explode. When he kind of tugged at the collar of Hyukjae's jacket to offer to hang it up, he jerked like he was going to trying to strip him right there. But they got the jacket off at least.

He gave Hyukjae the grand tour, such as it was. Most of it was all out there to see.

The fridge didn't have much to say about himself except that he hadn't been shopping in a few days, and he probably needed to throw out that takeout from, er, last week. But otherwise, there it was. And the bookshelf he dragged Hyukjae to, it held all sorts of books. Literature, nonfiction, biographies, trash novels. Anything and everything he'd straggled in through the door.

"English?" Hyukjae asked.

"Yeah, I speak and read English," Tablo said back, in English, and got a wide-eyed blank stare that made him grin.

The only other place really was his bedroom, which he'd kind of left till last on purpose. And hey, look at that, his unmade bed. Which, no wonder Hyukjae's back stiffened up when they got in the room. Thinking of all the things they could do on the bed made him stiffen up a little, too. He cleared his throat significantly. But there was the closet, and his dressers with their mostly closed drawers, and the pencil drawings of cityscapes on the wall. And in the bathroom, his less-than-regimented array of hair product and tooth cleaning supplies. And there weren't too many towels stacked in the corner, so he couldn't feel too bad.

"So yeah, that's it," he said. And didn't mind that they both went out into the living room. He figured they could work their way back if they had to.

"Want something to drink?" he asked, eying the t-shirt Hyukjae was wearing. It was a light blue and looked kind of soft, and he was almost positive that if he ran his hands over it, he could feel every nuance of the body below. Best to ward that off for a little while. He was pretty sure Hyukjae thought he was some kind of wild and horny guy. Which was true enough, but he thought he could pick his battles. And if he was all trying to be good and say he was in this for Hyukjae's mind, then he kind of had to show it.

"Sure," Hyukjae said, following him into the tiny kitchen.

"Anything you want?"

"Whatever you're having."

Beer kind of sounded good, but he went for the juice instead, handing Hyukjae a glass of it. Or, mostly hand it to him. Hyukjae sort of took it from him like he was offering a poison apple, but still thanking him with eyes fixed on the rim.

"Why are you like that around me?" he asked. A little curious, but not really put out by it. Some people just had different ways of dealing. "I'm not some kind of deity or something. I'm not going to kick you out of the human race if you loosen up and talk to me."

Hyukjae was frowning like his whole life depending on the answer he was going to give. "I really admire you," he said, careful as careful could be.

And he was kind of cynical about some things, but that kind of simple declaration kind of made him feel a chill. This kid. There didn't need to be any fancier words than those. Of course, Tablo could freely admit, they barely knew each other. What Hyukjae admired was an image, a facet of himself. He didn't know what books he liked to sit and read on lazy days, or what other music he liked, or his favorite foods. But they'd get there. He was starting to feel pretty confident in that. And though he'd kind of held the image in his mind of getting Hyukjae into his apartment and seducing him within an inch of his life, he kind of tabled that again. For the moment.

He nudged Hyukjae's elbow with his own. "Thanks, that means a lot. Hey, get your notebook out. Let's go over tonight."

At his tiny table they had to sit elbow to elbow, Hyukjae all tense, a cat ready to spring. And he was quiet, letting Tablo ponder on the night's words and phrases at first. And then little by little, his posture gave. And when Tablo asked a question, he responded. And when he tossed out a rhyme, he got one back. The shy, pleased smile making Hyukjae's face positively light up. Yeah, that was one of those things that had drawn him. He kissed that mouth, and tasted the crackers he had set out. They'd been sitting there for almost two hours, cramped together, and he just couldn't hold himself away any more.

Hyukjae's head dipped, eyes focused somewhere around Tablo's cheekbone. "Why me?"

"I don't know... You caught my eye. Maybe it was the way you paid attention. Or maybe the way you moved."

Hyukjae looked ready to protest and Tablo cut him off. "Hey, come on. You can't say you admire me in one breath and then fault my taste on the next."

Maybe his impulse control that first night had been a little lower than usual. He didn't think he could be blamed, with Hyukjae all flushed and dazed against the wall, that he hadn't been able to ignore the need in him that urged him to take. Blowing some guy he barely knew wasn't exactly on his list of every-day duties, but it sure had felt right at the time. Every moan, and of course, he'd looked and felt just as good as Tablo could have imagined. And in some cases, better.

His back popped as he stood, urging Hyukjae with him, until he could ooze down onto the couch. All he wanted was to relax in a little more comfortable environment. And maybe sneak in a little making out. Or more. Hyukjae followed slowly, letting Tablo keep a hold on his fingers until he sat down rather primly beside him.

"So..."

"So," Hyukjae said. And leapt to his feet when music erupted from the bag he'd left on the table, reaching for it. "My phone! Hello? Oh. Is it that late?"

Tablo squinted at the clock on his dvd player. Huh. It was getting late. But Hyukjae sank back onto the couch, still talking into his phone.

"No, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I was hanging out, and...Mmhmm. Just a second."

Hyukjae let the phone drop as Tablo tapped him on the leg.

"I can take you home right now," he said quietly, and then ran his fingers meaningfully up Hyukjae's throat. "Or you're welcome to stay the night."

To stay and so much more.

Hyukjae gawked at him, nearly missing his ear with his phone as he jerked it back up. "I'll be home in a little bit. Yeah, sorry."

The phone call ended, Hyukjae's hand tight on his phone, and the other restless in Tablo's gripping one.

"We can go then," Tablo offered. It wasn't like he hadn't given Hyukjae a choice.

"I just can't. My roommates and I, we're moving tomorrow, and they'd kill me if I stayed out."

It seemed very important to Hyukjae that he explained himself. Which meant, that if he hadn't had a reason to go, it was possible that he might have stayed.

"Next time, then, maybe," Tablo said.

And it seemed Hyukjae didn't know whether to agree or not.

While he got his keys and his shoes on, Hyukjae gathered his stuff. It'd been a while since he'd had a roommate, and had been pretty lucky to get this apartment on a rate he could live with. Still, it was nice to see another person there. And when the person blushed when they saw him watching, that was even cuter. It would've been so easy to get him into bed after everything that had happened that night. He was there, not acting like Tablo was going to bite him. Next time, all that tension would have flooded back. He wondered how many layers he'd have to cut through before Hyukjae would even talk to him. Before he could see the dreamy, thoughtful expression that had come through a few times tonight. The need to create wasn't always innate. It wasn't like people walked around dying to write stuff down all the time. A smile shouldn't be able to do that to him.

He could've called a taxi or something, but he couldn't be sued for wanting to spend just a little more time. And it wasn't that long of a drive, no more than fifteen minutes by Hyukjae's directions. And with Hyukjae in the passenger's seat with his bag on his lap, twisting the strap of it around and around his finger.

And then it was kind of awkward post date, pulling up and knowing he was going to have to say something that Hyukjae wasn't going to take as a line. Well, he tried for subtlety, he really did.

"Hey, call me okay? Tonight was fun. I won't bug you, so just give me a call, okay?"

"Okay. Okay... It was fun!" Hyukjae agreed. And Tablo tugged him in for another quick kiss, stroking Hyukjae's cheek in sort of an affectionate but he hoped not sappy way.

"Talk to you later then," he said. And it wasn't like he was some kind of grouch the rest of the time, but as he drove away after watching Hyukjae jog inside his smile was freaking huge.

***

He remained pretty optimistic through the first couple of days. When there was no call, he just chalked it up to Hyukjae probably still moving. He didn't think that had been some kind of excuse that had been untrue. And then maybe a day for recovery. And then there'd been the third day. And the fourth. He argued those off as days that Hyukjae was arguing with himself. And of course, since he'd all but promised Hyukjae that he wouldn't call, it wasn't like he could just find out. He had some kind of a plan. If Hyukjae didn't show up for the next battle, he was calling, plan or not. And would hope that Hyukjae hadn't changed his number or something.

Maybe he'd gotten sick, and that was why he hadn't called, or maybe he'd gotten attacked by mutant rats, or... Or maybe Hyukjae just wasn't really attracted. That was always a possibility, too. Just because he was getting more fascinated by every encounter didn't mean the feeling was mutual. But hey, he deserved some kind of gold star for not seducing him the last time, since it had been on his mind the entire night. And even if Hyukjae had said he had needed to go, a small arrogant part of him assumed he probably could have convinced him not to. So look, what a good person he was.

No one really bothered him the night of the battle, knowing he was in a pensive mood. He'd have to tone that down or go up like some kind of rattlesnake. And stupid thing was, he'd be looking out into the crowd for Hyukjae. And he'd only gotten one, measly, pretty hot, handjob out of it, too. That, and the kissing. And the touching. And the talking.

"Um!" he heard, rather loudly over the din of the crowd.

He saw the familiar lines of the bag first, eyes darting upward with some spurt of relief, or joy, or...? Hyukjae's face was serious, eyebrows drawn as he looked at Tablo with worried eyes. He looked good enough to eat. And Tablo's heart hadn't beat that hard and fast in ages, just from Hyukjae and those hands tight together around the strap of his bag.

With a single move, he was on his feet, hand in the small of Hyukjae's back, guiding him away. They had ten, maybe fifteen minutes. It was kind of hard finding a place at that point where there weren't people, and the room he did find wasn't much more than storage.

"Hey," he said, kind of stupidly for all he had both his hands gripping at Hyukjae's waist.

"I'm sorry I didn't call," Hyukjae blurted, fingers still tight on the strap he was holding. "We were moving, and..."

He seemed frantic as he dug into his pocket for a cell phone that Tablo had never seen. "I lost my phone, and your number was on it so I didn't have any way of getting it again, and..."

Hyukjae's lips clamped closed as though he realized he was babbling.

Suddenly a lot of things made sense. The urgency Hyukjae was feeling, the worry. The fact that what he was hearing meant that Hyukjae hadn't lost interest in him. Not at all. He let a smile curl his lips.

"So you would've called if you hadn't lost your phone?" he asked, fiddling with his own phone.

"I would've, er. I would've wanted to."

That made him grin. "But maybe couldn't make yourself?" He was just adorable. There was no other way to explain it. "But thanks for letting me know."

"I didn't want you to think... I don't think... Areyoubusyafter?"

Tablo tried to untangle those words, and when he did, he let his hand rest against Hyukjae's chest.

"I'm free. You want to come over again?"

"Yea-ahhh."

Ugh, it hit him in the wrong place. The little hitch in his voice. "You staying the night?"

Hyukjae was almost gnawing on his bottom lip. "Sure? If you—"

"I want. Hyukjae, I do want. Come find me after, and we'll get something to eat or something."

"Yeah, okay."

With a quick skim through his phone, he set it to dial Hyukjae's number. They both were startled when the other phone rang, but Hyukjae grinned sheepishly, and quieted it, adding the number to his address book. There. One problem fixed. And they still had...well. Not very long until they needed to be out.

He was there, handy, so Tablo had no qualms about tugging Hyukjae close and pressing a lingering kiss to his mouth. Just a little preview of what he wanted that night to bring. He grinned as Hyukjae's eyes opened, and was thrilled to see the answering, happy brightness.

It wasn't any kind of deep emotion, he figured, when Hyukjae leaned in, kissing him again without urging or incentive. Kissing because their mouths were in reach. Kissing him because there was want between them, and maybe something else. Something not just about sex. But even so, if he hadn't had obligations and promises, he'd have tugged Hyukjae out the door and home with him right there.

***

The variety show was funny, and he got to hear the first laugh that was completely disarmed. They'd gotten takeout because he hadn't really been in the mood to go sit somewhere, plus it had been late by the time they had left. Sitting at home and being able to make dirty faces at Hyukjae over their food had been more appealing anyway. Hyukjae stole bites of his food at first almost like he expected a reprimand. Getting bolder each time until they'd nearly knocked over their plates as they wrestled over the last of the food. Hyukjae was more fun to watch than the show itself, but he did his best so he knew what that laughter was being aimed at. What he kind of wanted was to put his hand on that heaving stomach and maybe kiss a line up that neck, but he was doing his best to be good. He was. He didn't really think he could get away with turning around and pressing his face into Hyukjae's thigh and just inhaling. Considering the first time he'd gotten his face that close, he'd nearly gotten a knee to his nose. So there were precautions to be taken. But he managed to lay back, finding his pillow quite a satisfying one.

He tried to keep the grin off his face as he settled. Maybe not the most comfortable spot, but he wasn't exactly driving for comfort. He was sure, if Hyukjae could have managed it, that he would have even made blood stop flowing to his legs, so still he was.

"Are you tired?" Hyukjae asked. And that was when he felt the touch, tentative fingers kind of petting at his hair like he was a wild animal inclined to bite him.

Tired, perhaps, of waiting.

He turned, Hyukjae's fingers startling against his cheek. Tentative, and yet real. Stroking from his cheekbone to his jaw, his chin. His mouth. Twitching as Tablo kissed his fingers, but not moving, allowing Tablo to do as he wished. He sucked lightly on the tips of those fingers, knowing just what would be thought. Knowing. Was that a...whimper? It took only one big movement to get himself upright, and another to slide so that he was on his knees facing Hyukjae. And there wasn't any hesitance there. Hyukjae was leaning in, as eager for the kiss as he was, damp lips meeting his, fingers in his shirt, his own hand cupping the base of Hyukjae's head.

"You keep asking me "why, why," that I want you," he said, nipping at Hyukjae's lips.

There was a rumbling moan. "I don't care why."

It was enough, then, that Tablo wanted him. Yeah, he got that.

They wrestled with each other, all the way to their feet. Hyukjae like a vine against him, gripping, demanding.

"There's a better place for this," he gasped. Maybe their first encounter had been on a couch, but their second one wouldn't be. He was prepared for this, as he'd never been prepared for anything in his life. And he wanted Hyukjae in his bed.

He walked for both of them, nudging at Hyukjae's knees, hands at his hips. Pausing every few steps to immerse himself in another kiss as they inched into the room. It was eagerness that had him yanking Hyukjae close, not caring that it was him against the wall, and Hyukjae pressing him into it. He didn't care. All he wanted was more of that mouth, and if it meant he got to run his hands up the length of Hyukjae's back, every warm inch of the skin there, then he was all for it. And Hyukjae, for his part, didn't seem to complain. Taking even some portion of control for himself, tipping Tablo's face back in his enthusiasm. Yes, that was hot. He touched his tongue to his top lip. Hyukjae on top. That might be something they'd have to try at least once. But right then he was most interested in pressing Hyukjae back onto the mattress and taking until they were both blind with it.

Old man, he taunted himself, sitting with shaking knees to help Hyukjae with his shirt. Watching as long arms lifted, dragging the t-shirt and sweater up over his head. His eyes traced the breadth of one shoulder to the other, the muss of Hyukjae's hair, and he ached with it. And nearly got caught in his own shirt, ripping it off at the expense of his ears, and nearly dove to press his face against the warmth of Hyukjae's stomach. The tip of his finger in a belly button that garnered him a shiver, tracing the hair beneath it to tease at the waistband of bright red underwear. Hyukjae's hands, restless on his neck and shoulders. He didn't think he could wait much longer.

The button and zipper of Hyukjae's jeans were easily undone, tugging hard on them to move them down his thighs. He'd already been here, he thought, cupping Hyukjae through his underwear. And at the throaty moan, he knew there had been a reason he had come back. He chanced a look up, hoping he wasn't going to be completely undone. It was a futile hope.

The closed eyes and focused face on the limp neck spoke only of pleasure, and he stood, pressing them skin to skin. The heat of Hyukjae's breath against his neck, and the shudder of their hips.

"You're going to have to help me," he murmured. "I'm feeling a bit...in need."

That and he just wanted the mental picture of Hyukjae's hands undoing his pants. Mostly the first. Definitely the second. And he got a shock, after enjoying the sight of Hyukjae so carefully undoing him, as both hands snuck into the back of his pants. Hyukjae's color was high and he looked so pleased with himself.

"Got me where you want me?" he asked, and kept on stripping. And watching between kisses, every inch of skin that was being bared for him.

So maybe Tablo was the experienced one. He'd done this before. But he didn't see himself as some kind of teacher. Hyukjae wanted just as much as he did, and he was going to have to show Tablo that. Maybe it was asking too much, but he didn't think so. He'd show Hyukjae what he wanted, and he would look to be shown in return. Their mouths parted wetly as he slid back onto the bed, a clear invitation to join him. Hopefully quickly, because he didn't know exactly how long he'd last. Another time, he'd do it right. Take Hyukjae up and up until he was begging. Too much teasing now, and it'd be over too soon.

He had his eyes on Hyukjae's thighs as he crawled up after him. All the better to grip...

"What're you thinking?" he asked as Hyukjae leaned against him. "What do you want?"

It was amazing to see that face move. Every thought going on behind his eyes so plain as he rested a hand solidly on Tablo's chest. "You. This."

And Tablo's lungs expanded as a kiss was pressed above Hyukjae's hand. And another to his throat. And with just a little twist, they were skin to skin, knees bumping. Had he said something about slow?

And though Hyukjae gave, rolling back for him, there was consideration in it, too. A hand brushing Tablo's hip that made him itch. Knowing what that hand could do. Just a little further. A little further and he wouldn't even need to grab the supplies he'd tossed on the bed.

He licked a line up Hyukjae's arm, stopping in the sensitive hollow of his elbow, the curve of his biceps. He knew it was a tease, but he couldn't help himself. If he went too fast, he risked losing control entirely. Yeah, he wanted Hyukjae shuddering under him, but not because he'd left him wanting by getting to the end too fast. But there was something demanding there, too, as he continued his way up Hyukjae's neck onto his jaw, his cheek. The way that Hyukjae turned his head, cupped Tablo's cheek and held him there for a kiss. Like he knew what he was due, and was insisting on it.

Of course, he did not regret any part of the warmth of that mouth, the licking purrs that urged him. He was the first person to make Hyukjae beg like that, hands kneading, thighs restless. It didn't take a genius or any experience at all to understand that need. There wasn't any worship in those eyes or on the breath that panted between kiss swollen lips. All there was was want, fundamental and male and raw, and so baring. He'd stoked that lust, and Hyukjae wanted him. And he had no doubt that Hyukjae saw the same need in him.

Just a little more, he argued, dipping to let his his nose run light up Hyukjae's chest, pausing to lick between his collarbones, a wet trail along his throat.

"Hyukjae," he breathed into the ear against his lips, feeling the inhale beneath him.

He all but winced as Hyukjae's fingers tightened in his hair. "Tablo," was the soft moan.

Oh yeah. That was what he'd been waiting for.

He picked up one of the condom packets, praying for a steady hand. And of course, that was when he'd seen that he'd tossed over four. They did have the whole night, it was true, but perhaps a little ambitious. And that was when he had the slightly dirty thought. If they broke it or something playing around, he had backups. But he wanted to see what reaction he would get.

"Hey, I need your help getting this open," he said, and got the corner of the packet securely between his teeth.

Hyukjae's hand twitched, but Tablo shook his head. Nudging toward his lips. And Hyukjae's lips parted as he realized what Tablo wanted from him. To grab the opposite corner...and help him open it. With his teeth.

It was like seeing a kiss in slow motion, a few stuttered movements bringing them together. Hyukjae not seeming to be sure of himself at first, but after spending several tingle-inducing moments staring into Tablo's eyes, he seemed to grow more confident. Baring the teeth that was part of that smile. And grasping oh so gingerly at the corner.

And when they twisted, to tear it, Hyukjae had been so tentative that it slipped right out before even tearing. The expression on Hyukjae's face almost killed him as they snorted with laughter. But not for long, adjusting themselves, teeth on wrapper, eyes on each other, until the material gave.

Which left Hyukjae with a bit of wrapper between his teeth, and huge dark eyes staring at the open packet. He couldn't help himself, reaching for the scrap and what he had been left with. And after both their mouths were free, he sighed desire into Hyukjae's kiss.

It was with kissing and touching that he moved them into the next phase. It wasn't like he was with many virgins, so he didn't know just what exactly he'd expect. How easy it'd be to slick his fingers, or slick himself. And when all he wanted to do was bury himself in Hyukjae's body, it was excruciating to feel that tightness and know that all he had to do was lift those hips... And though he tried to distract, it wasn't as though he expected Hyukjae to totally ignore what his fingers were doing. Getting a few noises out of him that was pretty interesting as well. He hoped, he assumed, he'd done enough. There wasn't any doubt that they were both needing something more.

"I can't... Need you."

Into his mouth he felt Hyukjae's grunt of surprise, and he, so much as he could, went easy. Easy meant kissing Hyukjae to distraction, hands on his stomach and ribs, kissing at his neck and shoulders. And gripping his hips to move that last distance. Hyukjae was gulping air like a drowning man, clutching at the sheets.

"You okay?"

The eyes that met his were not quite focused. "Nngh. Think so?"

He pressed kisses along Hyukjae's lips. "Want you like this. Over. And. Over."

Of course, that meant finishing this time. It wasn't so far away, but he had no doubts. Not as he took a tiny, experimental thrust, and got not only a gasp, but a moan, in return.

"Yeah, feel good," he murmured, and hitched up Hyukjae's thigh. The slide just that much easier, the arch of Hyukjae's neck just that much more appealing. Where had it been, this connection? The need to make this man feel everything that he was. Every ounce of bitter urgency, fading to the rise and anticipation, and the rush. They moved together, Hyukjae's arms tight on him, holding him so that it was the friction of their bodies, the heat of skin and arousal, that drove them. Hyukjae's pants were rich with nuance, tones of disbelief and pleasure, and still some discomfort. He listened and burned. He knew just what he was reaching for, what he was lasting for. That point when he felt that he was close, when he slid his fingers against Hyukjae's arousal, gripping, moving with his hips. And nearly losing himself as Hyukjae bucked up into his hand, tight around him at the shock of added sensation. It was like he went wild, head thrashing in his need, and Tablo saw it all. The way teeth sank into the pink lower lip as though trying to anchor himself, throat convulsing, eyes closed in desperate pleasure. And all for him.

"Hyukjae," he gasped out, and those eyes locked with his. "You with me?"

Just barely, he thought. Gravitating to that mouth. And he wasn't sure what was first, the kiss or the explosion of his name. All he knew was that he held on as Hyukjae arched into him, caught between breathing and shuddering as Tablo nestled his face into Hyukjae's neck. Breathing him in, all the desperation rising... And letting himself go.

He could've floated languidly like that for ages, feeling hot and kind of sticky but also...Also...

Hyukjae's hands were on his shoulder blades, kneading at him like he was a particularly delicate piece of dough in danger of being over-mixed. It took a minute to lever himself up, rather awkwardly, too. Until he loomed over Hyukjae like some gargoyle, Hyukjae's eyes all but crossed as they focused on his mouth.

"Hi," he said, all brilliance.

"Hi?" Hyukjae answered back.

"You okay?" he asked. Kind of needing to ask. Needing to know.

Hyukjae nodded, and Tablo more or less kind of believed him. He didn't think Hyukjae was going to out and out call it the most excruciatingly bad experience of his life. Still, as he maneuvered himself to the edge of bed, he watched as Hyukjae sat up. Saw the slight wince.

"You sure you're okay? I tried to be easy. I mean, you know."

"Was it pretty obvious I'd never... I kind of read up on it," Hyukjae mumbled.

"What, like on the internet?" Tablo asked.

Hyukjae nodded, most of his face hidden from view.

Okay. That was the cutest thing Tablo had ever heard, and in such a hot way. Hyukjae had taken the time to read up, and thus had been expecting that they would do just what they'd done. And wanted it. And that made him feel all kinds of awesome.

He kissed Hyukjae's cheek because it was there, and he could, segueing into a different kind of kiss entirely. "Shower?"

Hyukjae's smile peeked out, still that shyness despite what they'd just did. And he realized he was pretty okay with the idea of doing it again. He had places he wanted that mouth to go, and things they could explore. Yeah. All kinds of awesome.

***

It was kind of nice waking up to a warm body against his. With a little banter Hyukjae had moved beyond the sheepishness, and they'd gotten through the shower...Pretty innocently, all told. If a little kissing and groping didn't count. And then tucking them both into the bed. He was exhausted, that was for certain. And getting his arm around Hyukjae and nosing into his hair sent him really fast into sleep. Mostly he'd done that to keep Hyukjae, who he didn't trust to not run, from running. But Hyukjae was still there in the morning, deeply asleep on his back. And okay, so technically the lust came first, but the affection wasn't far behind it. He leaned in to press his lips to the skin under Hyukjae's ear, seeing a little mark below it that he'd made the night before.

He wanted to learn every mark on this man's skin. Every freckle, every... Sleepy dark eyes opened to his. Confusions, surprise. And a smile. And then panic.

"I have work!" Hyukjae exploded, sitting upright. "What time is it?"

"Nine?"

"Oh. I have time. A little. I start at 10."

"Where do you work? I'll take you."

Hyukjae stared at him from where he was trying to hop into his jeans. "Really? You don't have to. I could take the subway."

"I want to." And demonstrated that when they were chest to chest, with a good-morning kiss. "Want to borrow a shirt?"

Hyukjae bit his lip. "How would I get it back to you?"

"I was thinking, Hyukjae..." He let his forearm rest on Hyukjae's shoulder, so nonchalant. "That if you borrow my shirt, you're going to have to come back over tonight to return it. After all, maybe it's my only shirt."

"You want me to...Okay."

He kissed the sheepishness off of that face, and sent Hyukjae off to work with the satisfaction that it was his shirt he was wearing.

And what was how Hyukjae ended up spending the night again. Though it didn't really explain two nights later, or the night after that. He had a couple guesses on why.

***

Tablo didn't have some kind of magical insight into Hyukjae's brain. All he knew was that they sat so long talking over dinner one night that the restaurant's owner scolded them for wasting her time. What food was left was cold and they'd almost had to pay rent on the table. Or maybe it was the night a few days ago, when he'd gotten an arm around the lamentably tall Hyukjae's neck and suggested that they go see a movie. He remembered most of the movie. Except maybe some of a boring exposition scene when he'd pulled Hyukjae's face close on the pretense of whispering to him and ended up sucking at his earlobe instead. With Hyukjae's fingers clamped hard on his thigh.

He tried not to grin as Hyukjae sat back, breathing just a little bit uneven. He kept his hand over Hyukjae's, and they passed the movie that way.

And then had been the day of the rap battle. They hadn't talked or really even made plans the last morning Hyukjae had been there, just some hasty kisses before Hyukjae had had to leave for class. Hyukjae almost got there late, and he knew cause he'd been watching like the idiot he was. So they got to exchange little more than a smile before Hyukjae had found his seat. That was fine. He just pictured Hyukjae in that red underwear and probably had a hard time wiping it out of his head for the rest of the night.

There were always milling people after. Crowds that gathered to chat. Some of them that came to talk to him. They weren't all young. Most of them were kind of idealistic and dreamy about creating, and that was cool. He was okay with the fact that someone out there might be tempted to do something, create something because of him. And it wasn't like they never flirted with him. There were overtures. He wasn't exactly tall, dark and handsome, and most of the time he was flattered. He could tell the difference most times between a friendly hand on the arm, and a blatant come-on.

He almost missed the random guy that sidled up against him, as he finally caught Hyukjae's eyes across the room. Yeah, he'd stayed. He was going to get good sex tonight.

"Sorry, guys, I have to to. See you next week," he said, extricating himself from the possessive arm and slipping between chairs to where Hyukjae stood, staring over at the people he'd just come from. It took a moment for Hyukjae to look back at him.

"Hungry? Want to grab a snack? Or you want to head back to my place?"

Good sex, his mind supplied, offering it like fine wine.

"Your place," Hyukjae said.

Sounded like a good plan to him.

Maybe Hyukjae was tired? He wondered. He was a bit wooden, though his gasps and moans were genuine enough. Very genuine enough, Tablo though, heart rapping a different rhythm as they lay together.

Of course, until he reached to kind of give him a squeeze. He thought they'd got beyond all this tensing up thing, but who knew. Maybe he was missing something. Hyukjae seemed to move under his hand as though being there wasn't comfortable for him, and that kind of put a fear into him that he wasn't expecting to feel. Not when they gotten this far together..

"Am I it?"

Tablo stared at Hyukjae's profile. "It? What do you mean?"

"Are there other guys? Um. That you bring here?"

He pushed himself up on his elbow, well aware now of why Hyukjae wouldn't meet his eyes, darting around his face, focusing on his shoulder. He didn't even think Hyukjae was breathing. To ask him that question? Was that insecurity talking, or did Hyukjae actually think he was that kind of person? Some of his incredulity slipped out before he could bottle it.

"You think I'm taking guys home from the battles every week? Have a few on speed dial? An orgy now and then? Is that what you're asking?"

"Not exactly, I just—"

"How many nights have you stayed over this week?"

"Um. Four?"

"Have you seen any guys traipsing in and out of here?" Tablo asked, poking Hyukjae's chin.

"No? No." Some of Hyukjae's stiffness seemed to ease, and he began to get a clearer picture of just what had prompted the question. No one wanted to think they were just one on a line, much less with someone they liked. He thought back to the battle, the guy who'd gotten an arm around him. And Hyukjae's long stare. Maybe it had made him wonder.

"That's because there haven't been any since I met you. You're the only one I'm with. I don't sleep around, okay?" He didn't mention that he probably wouldn't have had the energy to anyway.

Hyukjae fidgeted, fingers kind of convulsively tightening around Tablo's. "I just know there are a lot of other guys who'd like me to drop dead."

"Yeah, but I'm not spending most of my week with one of them. And besides, any of those guys, maybe some of them want me, but they don't know me. I thought we were more than that. You and me."

"I-I thought so," Hyukjae burbled. "But I didn't know? I mean, I wanted that, too."

He laughed, and got himself up on his elbow, leaning in until they were nearly nose to nose. "You make me feel like I should get down on one knee and make it all official. Lee Hyukjae, will you go out with me?"

"Go out?" Hyukjae repeated blankly, and there was a play of emotion that washed over Hyukjae's face. Shock. Amazement. Confusion. "You want to date me?"

There wasn't anything he could do but kiss that mouth. "I thought I already was, dummy. I certainly don't want to date anyone else. And if you ask me why, we're just not going to be able to leave the apartment tomorrow."

He watched the smile and laugh was hitching up Hyukjae's chest, until it just exploded out of him. But Hyukjae quieted, bringing a warm hand to trace Tablo's jaw. "You didn't really tell me anything, and it was so quick? I didn't want to be stupid and misunderstand. I don't want anyone else, either."

Funny, how much it could mean, hearing those words. Yeah, they were into each other, that was obvious. But it was kind of nice knowing he didn't have to wonder. Hyukjae hadn't tensed up because he didn't want this anymore, but because he was making sure he had a place, and that he was the only one in it. And that was okay with him. He wouldn't have stood for Hyukjae having any little friends on the side either. If they even had the energy to do something like that. He was probably getting too old for this, as Hyukjae rolled on top of him, doing a good job at distracting him with kisses that turn him molten inside. Kisses that turned slower, more sensual, as they settled together, the lean muscles of Hyukjae's back beneath his hands, and the gentle writhing of their bodies. Of course, after a bit of that, he was thinking he wasn't quite too old after all, getting his hands on Hyukjae's thighs.

"Hey," he said, wanting to get out his random thought before he forgot how to think altogether. "It's not like I picked you at random, you know? Not that the sex isn't really great and all, but you got something up here I like, too."

Hyukjae shied a little bit from the gentle knock Tablo's fingers had given his forehead. Hyukjae was breathless through his smile. "I really like being with you."

"Well, yeah. Me too," was really all he had to say, because it was pretty obvious. He was too busy stealing what little composure Hyukjae had left. This was the guy who's nearly kneed him in the face and looked at him like he was some kind of pouncing wolf. And it wasn't like they didn't have more to learn about each other, but he figured they had a pretty good start. Hyukjae nipped the skin of his shoulder, and he growled, wrestling until they were both gasping, full, and needy. Hyukjae thought he was going to lose interest and make off with one of those other guys? Well. He'd show him.

TBC...  


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