Machined
Pairing: Blohyuk
Continuation to Touch
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"...Tablo-hyung..."
He lifts his gaze to find Eunhyuk leaning over him, the weight of him heavy on his slightly smaller frame as they both lay on the floor.
"Hyung... I..."
He looks as if he's trying to decide whether to cry or to run away, and Tablo can't help but be pained when he sees him like that.
"I love you..."
Tablo's eyes snap open and he jolts up from his comfortable position on the couch.
"...Dude, are you okay?"
The familiar voice brings him back to his senses as he turns to find Mithra flipping through a magazine, pen in his mouth as if he's going to use it even though it's just a habit he's picked up since he stopped smoking. Tablo straightens himself and hunches over, hand on his chin in a thinking position.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just had a... a dream, that's all." He was about to say "bad dream", but "bad" isn't a really good word to describe it. He scratches his head and messes his already-messy hair. "I'm going to take a drive, you need something? Candy? Soda? Gum?" He pauses. "...Cigarettes?"
"Shut up, asshole!" Mithra throws the magazine in his hand just as Tablo had ran out the door laughing.
Ever since Heechul had told Mithra that smoking didn't suit him he had stopped. Thus, Mithra had been open to the taunts and teasing of both Tablo and Tukutz, both of which never passed a day without reminding Mithra about it.
Tablo reaches his car and unlocks it. He gets in and starts the engine, checking all the mirrors even though he's the only one who drives his car. Reaching behind the passenger seat, he pulls out a huge CD case and flips through it. "Hmm... Death Cab for Cutie, huh? Well, whatever." He puts the CD in, turning up the volume a little.
Only seconds pass until he hears his phone ringing. He reaches in his pocket and looks at the screen: the name "Leeteuk" flashing on and off.
It had only been three days since he had seen Eunhyuk at the studio. Three days of him practically banging his head against the wall not knowing what to do. Three days of dreams filled with Eunhyuk confessing to him time and time again.
So far, he had gotten a call from six out of the thirteen members, not including Eunhyuk of course, most not knowing what to say and some just saying whatever and avoiding the issue altogether. And Leeteuk calling him right now would make that seven.
He sighs and flips open the phone. "Hello?"
"Tablo! How have you been?" Leeteuk asks animatedly from the other side.
"I'm doing good, what's up?" Tablo asks, pretty sure that he knew where this conversation would eventually lead.
"Actually... um... it's about Eunhyuk."
And there it was.
Hearing no response from Tablo, Leeteuk continues. "He hasn't been himself the past few days ever since his birthday. He's been overworking himself too much. I'm really worried about him."
A monotonous "Oh" was all that came out of Tablo's mouth. He didn't mean to sound so cold, but he really didn't know what to say. Of course he cared for Eunhyuk, that's no surprise. But in what way did he care for him, that was the question that remained unanswered.
"Look, I know this'll be uncomfortable for you. Hell, talking to me right now may even be uncomfortable for you." You got that right, Tablo thought. "But I'm begging you. Please go talk to Eunhyuk."
It wasn't often that people begged to him, and Tablo was pretty sure it wasn't often that Leeteuk begged other people either. Taking a few seconds to himself, Tablo finally replies with an "Alright", a sigh of relief heard from Leeteuk.
"Thank you, Tablo."
"Where is he right now?"
"Right now, uh... probably still at the dance studio. Are you going over there?"
"Yeah. I'll talk to you later." Without waiting for a response, Tablo closes his phone and slumps in the driver seat. He almost had the nerve to bang his head against the steering wheel for digging his own grave, but decided against it since he already had a headache and he sure as hell didn't need another one.
***
"Eunhyuk... I can't go on anymore..." Donghae's body leans against the wall, a bottle of cold water against his head. "I think I'm going to pass out."
"Okay. I'm just going to go on a bit more," Eunhyuk says, wiping sweat from his forehead and continuing to practice.
Donghae looks at him for a moment before sighing and using what is left of his strength to push himself from the wall and stand. He puts his hands on Eunhyuk's shoulders to get him to stop moving. "You should really slow it down, man. You're pushing yourself too hard."
"I know, I know," Eunhyuk says, brushing Donghae's hands from his shoulders. "Just a bit more."
"Promise?"
Eunhyuk looks back at him and smiles. "Promise."
"Alright, I'm going to head out then. See you in the morning."
"'Kay."
As soon as the door closes behind Donghae, Eunhyuk stands there in silence, staring at his own reflection in the mirror that covered the entire wall. He walks slowly towards it, looking at his other self until his face is inches away from the glass.
Without warning, tears fall down his face, but his whole body is drenched in sweat already so it doesn't make a difference to his disheveled appearance. He messily wipes his eyes, stray tears falling to the laminate floor beneath him. Eunhyuk stands there with his eyes closed, not wanting to open them to see where he really was. Because he hates opening his eyes and not seeing Tablo there.
It isn't until he hears the door click behind him that his eyes shoot open and he turns around.
"Hey."
Eunhyuk stares in disbelief at the person grinning in the doorway as if his presence there meant nothing. Tablo starts walking toward him, looking at the single bag left in the room and wondering if that was Eunhyuk's or someone else's.
"Still practicing at this hour?" asks Tablo, stopping just a few feet away from him.
Eunhyuk stares at the ground without meeting his eyes. "Well, it's only six thirty, right?"
"But you told me before that you usually start at 2 o'clock, so you've already been practicing for four and a half hours."
"Time flies when you're having fun," Eunhyuk says, his voice colder than it had ever been towards Tablo. And he couldn't help but feel a pang in his heart with every word that passed from his mouth. Eunhyuk walks past him and decides to busy himself with his bag lying near the wall, shuffling things around just so he doesn't have to meet Tablo's eyes.
Tablo comes up next to him. "We need to talk."
Eunhyuk sighs as if he was some pestering bug. "If it's about my birthday, just forget about it. You don't have to worry yourself over it or anything. I won't say or do anything to you, so it's fine. Right?"
Tablo stares at him, Eunhyuk's back to him as he kept rummaging through his bag. It hurt. Everything hurt. His words that seemed to have no emotion in the anymore, his eyes that refused to even look at him anymore, everything. Everything was hurting right now for Tablo.
"No. It's not alright."
"What?" Eunhyuk turns around and looks him square in the eye, a mistake he didn't notice until it was too late.
"I can't forget about it."
Eunhyuk's heart skips a beat, but he pays no attention to it. He still hadn't gotten over what had happened although he told Tablo to forget about it. "You don't like me, right? Not the way that I like you anyway. So, just forget about it already. You already turned me down."
"I didn't."
"Look," Eunhyuk rises to his feet and grabs Tablo by the collar. "Just don't talk about it anymore." His expression isn't of anger, and his grip on Tablo's shirt is too loose to be threatening. "Please... just don't say anymore." That would make the second person that day that had begged Tablo. But for some reason, this time made him feel so much more helpless.
"I didn't turn you down, Eunhyuk."
"Wait, w-what?"
"When you confessed to me, you ran out the door before I could respond to you."
Eunhyuk stumbles back as if he had just gotten the wind knocked out of him and his body slides against the wall until he meets the ground. "So... what does that mean? You like me?"
"I'm... I'm not sure yet. I need some time to think about it."
"Oh," Eunhyuk responds, almost as if already knowing that Tablo was going to turn him down in the end.
"I care about you, Eunhyuk. I care about you a lot. I just... Shit, I just don't know if it's in the same way."
"I see..."
And then there was a long pause, or at least it seemed that way to Tablo. His head was too busy with thoughts of "What the fuck did I just say" and "I don't know what the hell I'm doing anymore" to be counting how many seconds had lapsed between them.
Eunhyuk breaks the silence with a slight cough, Tablo looking over to his figure still sitting on the floor. It takes him a bit of effort, anybody could tell, but what he said almost made Tablo hit the floor.
"So... is it alright if I kiss you?"
"...What?" I heard him wrong... I must have heard him wrong...
"Is it alright if I kiss you?" Eunhyuk repeated, this time staring Tablo straight in the face, eyes refusing to tear away from his own.
Okay, so I didn't hear him wrong.
"Eunhyuk, I don't know if that's—" Tablo stops mid-sentence as soon as Eunhyuk moves from his spot on the floor.
Walking towards him, Eunhyuk says, "It's nothing... it's just a kiss, hyung."
With each step he takes forward, Tablo takes one step back, longingly eying the door on the the other side of the room and wondering if he could outrun him if he decided to make a dash for it. "Well, uh... maybe for you it may seem like just a kiss," he says, eyes looking from Eunhyuk's face to the door, "but to me it's much more than that." His back bumps into the wall, his mind realizing (and cursing at himself) for not having another way out.
"Hyung," Eunhyuk says more quietly, his hand against the wall and his face just inches away. "I want to kiss you."
"Since when have you become so bold? A few days ago you were blushing nonstop," Tablo says, trying to stall as long as he could so he could think of a way out.
"—teuk..." Eunhyuk replies almost inaudibly.
"What?"
"Leeteuk. He told me to be more straightforward with you. But, truth is, my brain is on the verge of exploding right now and my heart is beating really fast," Eunhyuk tells him, clutching the loose fabric across his chest as if his feelings right now were about to break out.
Tablo grins, but Eunhyuk doesn't notice because he's already converted back to his normal self and can't seem to meet him in the eyes again. "Alright."
"Alright?" Eunhyuk's eyes wide, a bit of worry and anticipation crossing his features.
"You can kiss me."
"Are you sure?"
Tablo sighs. "Are you seriously asking me that? Do you want me to take it back?"
"No, no... No. I'm happy," Eunhyuk smiles widely, so wide that it almost makes Tablo want to smile back at him. He leans into him, their faces mere inches away... centimeters away... and just right when you think they're going to kiss, Eunhyuk pulls away. "So... uh... am I just supposed to go in for the kiss or do you want to come in partway...?"
Tablo just laughs. "You're taking too long, Eunhyuk." He grabs him by the shirt and pulls him closer to himself, their lips meet. At first, Eunhyuk's body is stiff, and Tablo can almost hear the beating of the boy's heart, or maybe that was his own and he just didn't notice.
It's an elementary level kiss, no tongue, no lips parting, but it was more than enough for him to realize his true feelings about Eunhyuk. Tablo pulls away and looks at the ground.
"Um... how was it?" Eunhyuk asks, and Tablo didn't need to be looking him in the eye to know what kind of an expression he was wearing.
"I'll... tell you tomorrow." And with that, Tablo walks past him, past the boy's shocked face, past the lips he had just kissed, and doesn't stop until Eunhyuk shouts out to him.
"Hyung, what does that—"
Tablo turns around and says, "See you tomorrow then," before heading out the door and closing it behind him.
Once he hears the click of the door, he leans against it and grins. Tablo already knew what his answer was going to be. This is just payback for haunting me in my sleep, Eunhyuk. He smiles to himself, touching his lips, and walks down the hallway thinking of what to say to him tomorrow.
-fin-
