Wobaozhewo
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"So," Junsu ruminated, "You're saying you kissed him."
"And then he pushed him away like a purse snatcher," Sungmin finished for him, plucking at his guitar.
"... Did you only steal a kiss or did you take his wallet too?" Junsu grinned, not really taking things seriously.
Hyukjae sighed. While Sungmin was very considerate calling Junsu over to comfort him, he wasn't known for being the most helpful best friend. Especially when he caused a part of the problem, the douche.
In his own words, Hyukjae had taken off from the room like a racehorse from its gate, running nearly all the way home. His body had definitely been on autopilot, he thought, because he didn't remember a thing of it. Though the slow rolling pain in his legs was letting him know that was exactly what he had done.
"I really don't see what the problem is," Heechul said airily, sprawled on the couch while fiddling with his laptop, "Just do it again without the shove-n-tumble and you'll be fine. Actually, try some tumble; you'll be more relaxed."
He was just as helpful as Junsu, if not less, and Sungmin only hummed and strummed a little. Hyukjae hoped for some comfort, some sanity in the madness. A solution that didn't require some elaborate confession. Or whatever Heechul meant by tumble, which Hyukjae purposely refused to specify to himself.
"Heechul has got a point for once," Sungmin said, much to his disappointment. "I'm sure things would straighten right out after that. Hyung, what do you think?" he asked the slouched figure at the dining table.
"I'm a little busy," Jungsoo said, his back silhouetted in the bright light of his laptop.
Sungmin gave him a look of disapproval, but admirably refrained from comment. Instead, he turned to Junsu and said, "You should let Hyukkie work again. It's pointless for him to be at home all downhearted like this. He needs to get out and do things."
Get out and do things? Hyukjae wasn't even sure if he was ready to sit there and do nothing. What did they mean need to get out there? What he needed was to get his mind off of Daniel, to forget his moment of derangement, his Freudian slip in kiss form. There was no point now to denying, at least to himself, that he liked Daniel; not when Daniel's lips were so attractive to his subconscious even without any words of wisdom being imparted from them. He wasn't sure if the cafe was the best place to achieve that level of amnesia. But in all honesty, there was nowhere else he would rather have been. His job had been the thing that got him out of bed every morning. His job was his purpose. He needed that routine again. Then again, it was also a really long walk. He missed his bike.
Junsu made a noise of serious contemplation. "Are you ready to go back though, Hyuk? I mean, we do need you back. Boss asked about you and wondered about your empty time card. He came in the other day roaring mad about all the extra hours the kids were working," he groaned. "The high-schooler isn't tired of the late shift, but he comes straight after school 'til closing. And the new freshman hire... Henry. His schedule's packed in the morning taking over for you. I'm not even going to mention the kid in Pre-pharm. I don't even know why we hired him. He tries his best, but doesn't have time to help out with anything," Junsu rambled, more in effort to motivate than guilt Hyukjae.
Hyukjae knew he meant well, but hearing about how hard the other part-timers were working wasn't really the pick-me-up he needed. In fact, these kids with their busy lives made him feel worse that he was sitting at home and wasting his own.
"You should go to work," Jungsoo contributed, with a few mouse clicks.
"Oh my god," Heechul muttered. "You are spamming my feed with your emo shit. Get the fuck off Cyworld."
-
The decision was not immediate, but eventually came the day Hyukjae went back to work, after some unusually eager persuading on Junsu's part. He had brought over a bike wheel, the perfect fit for his own, as a surprise gift. His apartment mates, including Heechul, all chipped in to pay for it. Hyukjae took it as a hint that they wanted him to stop taking up the couch all day.
On his first morning shift back, riding to Coffeehouse in a misty drizzle, he was mildly surprised to see Junsu sitting with a man whose back was a sight for sore eyes. The moment Hyukjae stepped in, the man turned around and Junsu put on a grin that could match the Cheshire cat's.
"Hyukjae, you brat!" the broad-shouldered man's voice bellowed throughout the shop. He was tall and his thick structure spoke of big bones. There was no mistaking who he was. "If you missed another day, I would've fired you!" Youngwoon said, his tone not so much unkind as it was just loud.
"Sorry, hyung, I was..."
"Don't explain. I expect you to accept your duties or just flat out quit. Are you a quitter, Hyukjae?"
"I--"
"If all you have are excuses, I don't want to hear it. I hired you 'cause Junsu and I trusted you to be capable of caring for my baby, but if you get yourself distracted, why am I keeping you around?" he lectured.
It was like he liked hearing the sound of his own voice, whispered the devil on Hyukjae's shoulder. Junsu and Hyukjae, of all people, knew full well what Coffeehouse meant to Youngwoon. There was no need for elaboration.
"Look at yourself," Youngwoon said, swiping at Hyukjae's arm. "Look at Junsu! He works full-time here and full-time in a master's program. Aren't you guys the same age? What are doing with your life?" he asked, throwing a look of distress at Hyukjae. "How do you expect me to leave Coffeehouse to someone with such a poor attendance record!"
If not for the twinkle in his employer's eyes, Hyukjae might have took him seriously.
"You're not any better, hyung," Hyukjae retorted, unbelief playing on his smile. "When was the last time you actually pulled some weight around here? You leave Junsu to do all the work when you know he has school too. At least hire more people. Aren't you using friendship as extortion?"
"Hey! I'm CEO, okay? C-E-O. I can do what I want," Youngwoon answered, irritation betrayed by a half moon eyed smile. He ruffled Hyukjae's hair. Shifting into a more solemn tone, he added, "And you know I'd be around if I could..."
"Hyung, the cafe's in good hands. You can relax," Hyukjae offered as comfort.
Youngwoon took his proposition literally, falling into the chair next to him, finally letting his face surrender to fatigue. "I think about giving this up sometimes."
"Don't," Junsu said, with a good-natured smile that Hyukjae rarely ever saw, "I like this place, and once I finish my MBA, I can help you with expansion."
"Assuming we can merge the coffee and steel industries together. Wouldn't that be something?" Youngwoon smirked, a little bit of impossibility dulling his eyes.
Both Hyukjae and Junsu nodded. They understood the ever looming obligation that Youngwoon had to his father transcended the importance of his own endeavors. Coffeehouse Cafe was his domain, the place he built with care, right out of graduation, on his own. There was nothing here tied to his family.
Junsu spoke up, just a whit too bright. "Boss was worried about you and took a leave to help cover your shifts. He didn't want to overwork the kids, you know. Labor laws and all that."
Hyukjae looked at his hyung, and felt a little shamed. Letting himself fall into this lovesick hole--this was exactly what he was afraid of. And since Daniel hadn't come looking for him all this time, it was an obvious avoidance tactic, not wanting to make situations worse. It was time to stop playing the lovesick dog and get back to his responsibilities.
Thinking about it, he was lucky to still have responsibilities to come back to, lucky to know Junsu and Youngwoon, to have roommates that cared enough to bribe some sense into him.
"Now that you're back though, you're going to work hard, right?" Youngwoon grinned.
"Yes, hyung," Hyukjae replied. Like a prodigal son come home, welcome with open arms, he wouldn't look this gift horse in the mouth.
-
Working again wasn't too unfamiliar or weird. Youngwoon had insisted on sticking around for a few more days to get Hyukjae acclimated and make sure he kept his promise, but both Hyukjae and Junsu persisted that Youngwoon ought to go back to his corporate chair. They didn't think it was necessary for him to leave his responsibilities out to dust any longer than he already had. Besides, Hyukjae had not been gone that long and he even felt good falling back into his usual duties (and Junsu was tired of hearing Youngwoon's loud nitpicking). The most difficult change was the obvious missing presence, but that just meant no distractions.
Somehow, he had assumed that it was not an inevitable thing that Daniel would come back. It wasn't long before that familiar face showed up to prove him wrong.
Not in the way that Hyukjae had imagined though, unless he had somehow conjured up the image of Daniel being dragged down a street looking panicked and scared. He was using his feet as leverage to pull away from a tall man that looked sour and angry, a game of tug of war that Daniel was very clearly not winning.
By some stroke of good fortune, the glass door had been propped open, allowing a clear path for the struggling pair to come through. Hyukjae ran out closer to see what was going on, a stack of trays still in hand.
"Stop--being so--difficult!" the man grunted out in rhythm with pulling motions, "Yah!" He let go, leaving Daniel to tumble into a nearby table. The man slumped a little, with hands on his hips and a sigh being heaved, like he had been angry with the world but decided on giving that habit up.
Then, he turned to look around, stopping at Hyukjae. "Hey, you Hyukjae?"
Hyukjae looked around and pointed at himself as if to say, 'Who, me?'
"Yes, you. You know this guy?" he asked, nodding to the lump of person on the ground. His tone was as bland as plain rice cakes. Blander, if possible. "I'm getting sick of living with this idiot. If you could fix his stupid, talk to him, slap him or something... that would be great, thanks."
He moved to the side to collapse into a chair, but not before kicking Daniel on the way. As if on instinct, Daniel smacked him on the back of his thigh in return with a fist quicker than his roommate could retract his foot. Hyukjae assumed that was who this man was.
"Hyungnim?" Hyukjae called, as Daniel pulled himself to his feet.
Daniel cleared his throat, his face trying for some kind of poise. It was not working. "Hyukjae."
"Is that how you always talk to him?" said the man whom Hyukjae, upon looking closer, reminded him of a fox. "He's usually more retarded than this." That was directed towards Hyukjae.
"Shut up," Daniel bit out, looking more on edge.
The two had a very tense staring contest for a moment, and Hyukjae awkwardly broke it. "Hyungnim..."
"Hyukjae." Daniel looked at him. And more silence.
"Hey, I don't have all day," the tall man said, then turned to Junsu, smiling uncomfortably behind the counter, and asked, "Can I get a coffee here?"
Daniel's mouth was set in a tired line. From frustration with his friend there, Hyukjae could guess.
Junsu chimed in, just a note gauche. "If you're going to talk, can you do it in the back where customers can't see?"
Hyukjae stared at Junsu who then nodded him to the back as if to say, 'This is called a chance. Take it.'
That was enough motivation to get him going and he trudged to the entrance of the back room. He could hear Daniel following, the swing door swishing closed behind them. Hyukjae set down the trays he had still been holding into the sink, propping his back against it, and his palms were grasping tight on the edge to keep him steady. Daniel just stood there, still by the door, keeping as much distance as possible between them. Hyukjae swallowed and looked to his shoes, with dirt smudges and some splashes of the latte he'd spilled an hour or two ago.
They were alone. Was it just him, or were the walls closing in on him? The room seemed to be getting smaller. He was sure his cheeks were on fire. Was there anything to say? It was obvious that Daniel didn't want to see him. That much was positively crystal clear. But there something he wanted to get out. They needed--
Words. It all came down to words and once Hyukjae had that set in his mind, his mouth started moving, "Hyungnim, I know what I did was out of line and I'm sorry for kissing you and there was just no excuse and I know it made you uncomfortable and I ruined everything I'm sorry I wasn't thinking and I just. It just--Mmrh."
Hyukjae hadn't noticed Daniel closing the gap between them. Their lips lingered together for a good two seconds before Hyukjae even registered that they were kissing. Again.
Daniel's hands had found their way to his jaw, pressing his fingers softly on Hyukjae's skin. When it seemed neither of them were going to fight each other off, the kiss deepened and Hyukjae could feel his pulse quicken as Daniel urged their mouths closer. He smelled like soju. This very same scent on Heechul made Hyukjae want to retch, but on Daniel, it was alluring and intoxicating.
There were no fireworks as Hyukjae realized that this was really happening. There was not even a dim little light bulb to signal the dawn of apprehension coming over him in waves of dizzying gratification.
Daniel was kissing him, and not that little teenage pecking stuff. This was A-class Second Base material, if Hyukjae feeling himself being pushed up the counter and a hand reaching under his shirt were any indication. Hyukjae supposed that was what this was, having never gotten to second before.
"Wait," he said. Daniel's lips tried to follow Hyukjae's as they pulled away, but in the end, Hyukjae only bent down enough to let their foreheads touch. They kept still. Somehow, Hyukjae had ended up sitting on the sink edge, his legs around Daniel, and their arms wrapped around each other like it was necessary for survival. Hyukjae did not know how he managed to keep his wits together. And his success at that was dubious because he still wanted nothing more than to continue what they had been doing, but there was something more important he wanted.
Words ironically weren't necessary, Hyukjae thought, as he took in Daniel's expression. He had been too scared to look into his eyes before, but now that he had, they had a shine to them that he hadn't noticed.
They were both breathing hard, and if someone were to come in, they had no explanation for their compromising position. Hyukjae's sense of propriety bid him to move, but just as Hyukjae shifted his arms to push him away, Daniel grumbled, "I'm not sorry," holding Hyukjae tighter, trapping his arms between them. "Jeongsik's right. I'm actually really retarded. I've only been playing it cool, trying to look good, put together, when all I want to do i-is... is... yeah."
He exhaled, shaking a little.
"I'm stupid," Daniel admitted almost graceful save for a slight crack in his voice, "You wouldn't believe how I... when w-we, when you and I..."
He growled in irritation, unable to finish the crazy mess of syntax he'd vomited out, but Hyukjae found meaning in all of it. It was as if this was some incomprehensible language understood only by two awkward people fastened together in some providential paragon of compatibility.
"Why didn't you come find me?" he asked, careful to keep his breathing steady.
"I tried going after you that day, you know. But," Daniel grinned, "You run very fast."
A corner of Hyukjae's lip twitched up in answer and Daniel seemed to relax. "I was wondering if it was an accident. Wondered if the kiss was a fluke, since that girl... I thought-I don't even know..."
"You mean--" Hyukjae balked, conflicted whether or not to curse or thank Sungmin and Junsu for being cunning bastards, "No, I-you have nothing to worry about. She's... I don't--I mean, I-We're not--"
Daniel's lips curved up unmistakably. "I see," he breathed, but his face fell as quickly as it had brightened. "I don't know. I made up a lot of reasons for what happened and after I couldn't catch up to you, I decided to give you some space. A little breathing room to get yourself together. But that gave me time to think too and I started second guessing myself and. Your feelings. I confused myself writing out my mind, trying to intuit yours. ... I was afraid to find out."
Afraid of finding out... that everything you wanted was right here in your arms. Hyukjae didn't want to laugh, but it was funny, he realized, how stupid they both were.
"Hyukjae?" Daniel said, retreating an inch or so to look him in the eyes.
Feeling him pull away, Hyukjae's heart practically jumped out to his hands, causing him to throw them around Daniel's neck to keep the contact. "No! Don't! I just! I don't know what you had to be scared of. I mean, I was the one that kissed you. When I saw you looking so freaked out, I. I was the one that lost my mind. I guess if I had stayed a little longer..."
"We could have saved ourselves a lot of misery," Daniel finished for him, chortling into Hyukjae's chest. With Hyukjae sitting up straight and on the counter, that was about as high as he could go.
"Yeah," Hyukjae replied, looking down at Daniel's hair and unable to contain his smile so wide that it bared his gums. He covered it with a shy hand, but not without knocking Daniel's head first. Daniel looked up at his face, the covered smile, and took the hand that hit him, holding it to his chest. Hyukjae felt his other hand smoothing its way up to the back of his head, and pulling him down for another kiss.
"I downed two cups of coffee already. What's taking you so--Oh. So I take it I can go back myself," said a voice by the door, and both Daniel and Hyukjae jumped and scrambled to look like they had been doing something more decent. Hyukjae back on his feet, and Daniel not resting between Hyukjae's legs.
When Daniel realized who it was, he yelled, "Oh my god, Jeongsik! Get out!," grabbed a nearby spoon, and chucked it at him, hard.
"Is this any way to thank me for playing cupid?" Jeongsik yelled back, and ran to save himself.
TBC
