Ana's POV
I hated this, the house was just too quiet without Charlotte here. The house was too big, maybe it was time to sell it, maybe it was time to talk to Matt about it, moving on.
I washed the shampoo out of my hair, closing my eyes tightly, not only to block out the shampoo but to block out the thoughts of my marriage, my perfect marriage that didn't turn out to be so perfect.
I turned off the taps, I wasn't going to think about the 'D' word, not today, I just couldn't cope with it today. I bit my lip, I just couldn't cope with it ever.
I wrapped a towel around myself, heading into the bedroom, fighting back tears, but as usual the tears won.
Matt. My love. My life. Why did this have to happen? We'd been so happy, we had Charlotte, we had eachother and then Jimmy died. Matt lost control and the more I tried to reach out to him, the more I lost him. He turned into a nasty hateful person, he was always drunk, always saying mean and nasty things to me, hurtful things. The night my dad died, I tried to find him, I needed him, I just wanted him to hold me but when he finally came home, when I told him about my dad, he said. "You have to make everything about you Ana." I felt like I'd been slapped in the face and that was the night I realised he didn't love, want or need me anymore, that was the night I'd decided to end it.
I closed my eye's, resting my face in my hands, the hurt was still there, everyday it felt fresh, like we'd just broken up yesterday. I was doing my best to move on without him, but it was hard, I thought he was soul mate and I still loved him with every fiber of my being.
The phone interrupted my pitty party and I wiped my face, picking it up.
"Hello."
"Mommy, I miss you." Charlotte greeted me.
Great, the tears started again. "I miss you." I told her, trying to disguise the sound of my tears.
"Mommy are you okay?"
"I'm fine baby, just fine." I lied. "What are you doing today?" I asked her, trying to change the subject.
"We're going to the beach." She said softly. "Mommy are you sad?"
I heard murmuring in the background, it was him.
"I'm alright Charlotte, I'm just a little sad because today's Sunday and Sunday is Gram and Grampy day." I always visited them on a Sunday.
"Do you want me to come with you mommy?"
"No baby, you have fun with daddy."
"But mommy...."
"Ana." Matt suddenly said.
"Oh Matt hi." I said, trying to sound normal.
"Ana..." He started, then stopped.
I looked down at my hands, they re shaking, his voice stil made my heart beat faster.
"Ana why don't you come to the beach with us?"
I looked at my left hand. WHERE THE FUCK WERE MY RINGS? I held my hand up, looking, my engagement and wedding ring, gone.
"Ana?" Matt asked.
"Oh sorry, not today Matt, you two have fun though." I rushed.
I wanted to get off this phone, I wanted to find my rings.
"I can come pick you up." He said softly.
"Don't be silly, it's your time with Charlotte." I gushed, hoping he wouldn't hear the emotion in my voice. "Enjoy it."
He didn't respond.
"Anyway I have to go, talk later." And I hung up, jumping to my feet.
I ran into the bathroom, checking the little dish I kept by the basin, they weren't there. I ran into the bedroom, pulling the covers down on the bed, praying and hoping they'd come off while I was asleep, but they weren't there.
I spent the next hour pulling out every drawer, searching every nook and cranny, looking for those rings, but I couldn't find them.
Fuck. I did what I did best, I burst into tears. Where could they possibly be? They were the only part of Matt I had left and now they were gone too.
I sat on the floor crying, maybe someone was trying to tell me something?
Maybe it was time to officially end this marriage.
