Ana's POV
God I was nervous, nervous and tired. I'd hardly slept a wink last night, after, well after he kissed me. God, it felt so good, I didn't realize how much I'd missed his affection until last night and now I realized I'd missed it, him, so much.
I had to tell myself not to cry while putting on makeup. I don't know why I was wearing makeup, Matt had already seen me at my absolute worse and when the doorbell rang I was glad I was with Charlotte because I wanted to burst into tears again.
I ordered Charlotte to get dressed and I ran downstairs, opening the door.
"Good morning." He said smiling.
"Hi." I said, stepping back and letting him in.
"I hope you don't mind, but I organised for Charlotte to go to the beach with Brian and Sophie." He told me, following me into the kitchen. "You know, so we can talk."
Just the mention of talking made me anxious. "Of course I don't mind."
Charlotte came into the kitchen and she was always happy to see her dad, only she didn't seem happy about going to the beach.
"I don't think she wants to go." I told Matt once she'd gone upstairs to get changed.
He looked at me sadly. "I think she's scared."
I looked down at my hands, I was scared too. "I guess."
"She doesn't understand Ana."
"I know."
"We can sit her down later, explain it to her." He said.
Explain it! Explain what? Was he going to ask for a divorce? God, now I was confused. Just exactly what was going on?
I was a mess by the time Charlotte came back downstairs and I was a bigger mess once she left. I watched her get into the car, then I closed the door, turning to Matt. I opened my mouth, but nothing would come out.
"So." Matt said looking at me.
"Yeah, ah, I should probably finish cleaning up." I said quickly, walking towards the kitchen.
"Ana." Matt said, following me.
"Yes?" I asked him walking out the back. I looked around, honestly there wasn't much to clean.
"Okay fine, we can clean up first, but we are going to talk." He said.
"Okay." I said quietly, avoiding his eyes.
"Ana." Matt said. "Look at me."
I looked at him and he stood there, with his hands in his pockets.
"Right." He said. "Let's talk first, let's get it over and done with."
I felt my chest tighten, over and done with? What did he mean over and done with?
Matt turned to head back into the kitchen. "I'll make coffee." He said and I tried to follow, but I couldn't, my feet wouldn't move.
"Ana, what are you doing?" He asked, turning to look at me.
I looked at him and I loved him, I loved him, I'd always love him, he could do anything and I'd forgive him because of how much I loved him, I didn't want to live without him because everyday I had been without him hurt, it felt like my insides were being torn apart, everyday was the same.
"Ana, what is wrong?" He asked. Now he looked concerned and he started to walk towards me.
I realized I'd been holding my breath and as I let it out I sobbed, I tried to hold it in but I couldn't. It was a loud sob, it came from my heart.
"Ana, what the fuck?"
"I'm sorry." I sobbed. "I just...."
"Oh god." He gushed. "Can we at least talk, can you hear me out first?"
I nodded, wiping my face and Matt took my hand, leading me into the kitchen. He sat me on a stool, then started to make coffee. I sat watching him, trying not to blubber and I noticed his hands were shaking. Oh god, why were his hands shaking?
"Here." He said, shakily putting a cup down in front of me.
I looked at my coffee as Matt sat next to me, I didn't think I could drink it, I thought I might vomit.
We sat there in silence, neither of us saying a word, staring at our coffees, waiting for the other to speak.
"Ana." Matt said softly. "I need to explain a few things."
I nodded, wiping my nose because a tear had run down it.
"Ana." He murmured reaching out and gently taking my face in his hand. "Look at me."
I raised my eye's and looked at him and oh god, just looking at him, my husband, my best friend, my soul mate, made me start crying again.
"Ana." He whispered, leaning over and kissing my nose. "Please baby, please just listen to me."
He wrapped his arms around me, burying his face in my neck. I reached up, wrapping my arms around him, holding him, crying.
"I'm sorry." He whispered, so softly I barely heard him. "For everything."
I closed my eye's, listening and realising that I could hear tears in his voice. Matt was crying too. Matt was hurting just as much as me.
