You Belong To Me (Kaylor)

166.

There was nothing that could have mentally prepared Taylor for what just came out of Karlie's mouth. She just sat there on the bed in her own world. It was as if she lost all of her senses. She watched Karlie walk over to the closet and pull out her luggage as she threw clothes inside.

Karlie changed out of her pajamas and called for a cab to come get her. She stopped in front of Taylor and looked into her bloodshot blue eyes. The model leaned down as she kissed Taylor's cheek and whispered, "I'm sorry I wasn't 'the one.'

She then placed her wedding ring and band on the bed, next to the singer and walked out of the room.

Karlie walked down the stairs and grabbed the door knob to the main door. She paused for a moment, leaning her head against the doorframe and completely broke down. Her heart was officially shattered. All thoughts of a 'happily ever after' were destroyed. She was willing to sacrifice the love she had for Taylor, to save her own sanity and yet, that wasn't what she wanted. She wanted nothing more than to run back up the stairs and throw her arms around the love of her life. Taylor was her everything. But how could they ever have a 'normal' life if Taylor wasn't able to see her own self worth.

Karlie felt like such a failure. They're supposed to be a team and fight through the hard times together. Their vows were promises to each other. Promises that they'd alway be there for each other. Every great memory she ever had with Taylor, flashed through her head. Her body trembled uncontrollably while the tears poured down her face. She couldn't open the door and walk away. She couldn't leave her wife. But what choice does she have anymore? A sudden feeling of nauseousness fell upon her. She turned around and walked to the bathroom in the hallway, where she threw up.

Karlie was a mess as she leaned over the toilet. Tears were streaming down her face, she could hardly catch her breath and was beginning to have a panic attack. She repositioned herself to sit on the toilet bowl as she bent over, placing her heard between her legs as she tried to slow her breathing. It worked long enough for her to be able to somewhat pull herself together. She rinsed her face, brushed her teeth and straightened her hair. She was going to be ok. Even if it meant living a life without Taylor, she was going to be ok, at least that's what she hoped for.

She walked out of the bathroom and walked back to the front door. Grabbing her bag in one hand, and the door knob in the other, she took deep breaths. I can do this. Just open the door Karlie and walk out. Just do it. You'll be fine. It's going to hurt for a while, but it's going to be ok. You need to be strong. The voices in her head were more sane than she was right now. She just couldn't do it, she couldn't open the door. She just couldn't walk away.

"I'll do anything. I'll get help. I'll be whoever you want me to be. But please don't leave."

Those words only caused Karlie to breakdown again. Not being able to turn around, she could hear the hurt coming out of Taylor's mouth as she spoke. Karlie leaned her head against the doorframe again and just slowly shook it back and forth.

"I can't do this anymore, Taylor. How can I? I'm physically and emotionally drained. Nothing I do is good enough. I feel so broken. I'm beginning to lose my mind and I need to save myself. I need to save myself from...you."

Karlie never turned around to look at Taylor. She just couldn't bring herself to do so.

"Kar, please. I know I've asked for a second chance before but please just give me one more to prove myself to you. I'll give you space and time and whatever else you need. But please don't divorce me. Karlie please."

The model heard the desperation in Taylor's voice. She knew she was an emotional mess as well. She heard her wife starting to descend down the stairs slowly. Two slender arms wrapped around her waist and she could feel Taylor's head, lean against the center of her back.

"Karlie, please don't leave me."

Karlie let go of her suitcase and turned around in her wife's embrace. She brought her arms behind her back and grabbed Taylor's hands, unlocking them as she brought them to the front of her body. She continued to look into the same eyes she fell in love with over a year ago.

Taylor offered a little smile, trying to read Karlie's body language as she hoped that she'd get one more chance.

Karlie held both of Taylor's hands, bringing them up to her lips, as she kissed the back of them.

"I love you Taylor. I love you so much...but not enough to lose myself.  I'm sorry."

Karlie released her wife's hands as she turned around, picked up her suitcase and walked out.

Taylor fell to the floor hysterically crying. It broke Karlie's heart even more, as she was still standing on the other side of the door. She could hear the sobbing and the pain but she needed to do this. Karlie walked away and didn't look back.

She checked into a hotel instead of going back to her apartment. She knew her old place still held too many memories of Taylor, even though they didn't spend a ton of time there. Plus, she figured Taylor would probably show up anyway and she just couldn't bring herself to see her.

Karlie reached for her phone and turned it off. She opened the mini bar and began to pull everything out. One after another, she guzzled the little bottles of vodka. She called room service and asked for a full size bottle of vodka, a bucket of ice, a bowl of limes and a bottle of any kind of juice.

When it arrived, she poured some vodka over ice and added three lime slices. The juice was a waste, but she figured she'd drink it for breakfast.

Karlie guzzled her drink, immediately feeling the effects. She walked out on the balcony and looked at the city below. Everything was so quiet,considering this was the city that never sleeps.  She got to the edge as flashbacks flooded her mind. At one point she was smiling and laughing at all the good times they shared together. She remembered the time that Kimby walked in on the two of them when they went to visit her family and how mortified Taylor was after that or the time that Taylor and her went for lunch and Taylor asked her if she was mad just because she didn't have sex with her that morning and how the guy next to them heard the whole conversation. Karlie started laughing even more when she remembered asking the man to repeat what he heard, just to prove a point to Taylor and how angry she became. But not angry enough to not have sex with her later.

She gripped the railing tight as her mind continued to race. So many thoughts running through her head about her relationship and now it was over. There was nothing left for her to give. This was the end.