You Belong To Me (Kaylor)

19.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, Karlie thought to herself but then again, it was HER idea that they talk about their prior relationships and get it all out on the table, so she can't turn back now.

"Well, I too only had one prior relationship that really impacted me. It was with a girl named Toni. We had met at a concert. I went with a few friends and we were just hanging out, waiting for the show to begin. Toni was sitting in front of us with her friends and we all just started talking about how excited we were to be there. It kinda seemed that we were the shy ones out of our group of friends and I think that's why we hit it off. We sat there talking while everyone else was being obnoxiously loud, being typical fan girls."

"The show began and we all danced and sang along. Periodically, Toni would turn around and hold her hand to her face like it was a microphone, serenading me. It was really cute."

Karlie could sense that Taylor was uncomfortable, so she kissed her lips and said, "But not as cute as you."

As her girlfriend blushed, Karlie continued.

"After the show, we all stood there trying to calm down and waited for most of the arena to empty out, since we weren't in a rush to leave. Everyone seemed hungry, so we invited our new friends out to eat."

"We made our way to a diner in a neighboring town and Toni and I sat next to each other. We had our own private conversation as everyone else was talking about the show. Toni asked me if I lived in NY and when I told her I did, her eyes lit up and she told me that she had just moved there. We then realized that we lived roughly 15 minutes away from one another. She had asked me if I had any siblings and when I told her about my sisters, I felt her hand on my thigh. It sent a shiver through my entire body. She moved it away quickly, taking notice of my cheeks turning bright red. But I told her it was ok and I grabbed her hand, placing it back. This time, she blushed."

"We exchanged numbers and she asked if we could meet up for lunch. Since I was free the following day...well actually later that day since it was already past midnight, I agreed. We had met at an Italian restaurant by my house. Conversation between us just flowed. Nothing was forced or awkward. Toni asked me if I was attracted to her, before looking away as her cheeks turned fire engine red. I told her that I was."

"When we left, I invited her back to my place where we spent hours on the couch talking about everything and nothing. She told me that she always knew she was gay but never really acted on her feelings before, always being too afraid that she'd be turned down. I was shocked because she was GORGEOUS. Like, who would ever turn her down?"

"Karlie?" Taylor interrupted. "Do I really need to know how GORGEOUS she is?" Taylor had a sad look on her face. I was being insensitive, not realizing that this really upset her. I guess I didn't realize how much of an impact Toni made on me.

"I'm sorry Tay." I leaned over and kissed her lips, which put a smile on her face. "You are more gorgeous than any other girl I have ever seen." She smiled again, giving me the ok to continue.

"As we sat there talking, Toni leaned over and kissed me. I immediately reacted, kissing her back and pulling her on top of me."

"KARLIE... WTF? Will you stop already? Are you gonna tell me how she sucked on your nipples too?"

"Is someone jealous?"

"Ughhh, just finish." Taylor said with a not so pleasing look on her face.

"Anyway, after several days of phone calls and casual dates, we decided to become exclusive. She wasn't 'out' to everyone, only her friends. Her family knew nothing although she thought that maybe they had an idea. Me on the other hand, I had already come out to my family and friends 2 years earlier, so it was no big deal. When she did come out to her family, they were really supportive. We ended up being together for a little over a year."

Taylor's eyes got really bright and wide. She was really engaged in the story. All she needed was some popcorn, since she looked at me as if I was a movie screen. "What happened next," Taylor asked.

I became a little uncomfortable and shifted my body a little. "Umm, we broke up. The end."

"Wait a minute Miss Kloss. Not so fast. What happened? Why did you break up?"

I knew she wouldn't let me off the hook, so I told her the truth.

"Well, I-i...I cheated on her."

Taylor's face dropped. She gulped really hard and looked down at her hands that were resting on her legs. "Did you love her," Taylor asked.

"I did."

"Then why did you do it?" I could see tears welling up in her eyes.

"Weakness I guess." I looked down, not wanting to make eye contact. I realized that I was no better than Taylor. I lashed out at her when she cheated on me and yet, I did the same thing to someone that I once loved."

Taylor looked at me as a tear fell from her eye. "Did you try to get her back?"

I pulled away from Taylor, standing up and wrapping a blanket around my bare body. I sat on the bench that wrapped along the wall and stared out of the window. I could feel tears fall from my eyes. "Yeah, I tried. I tried for almost a year before I finally gave up. I knew she didn't want anything to do with me anymore. I broke her heart." I felt arms slide around my waist as I realized that Taylor was now sitting behind me, pulling me towards her. I leaned my head back on her shoulder and felt her kiss my temple.

"Karlie. Remember when we were at the party, the night of my last show and you were telling me about your love for Martha?" I nodded my head. "Well, during that conversation, you said that there was only one other time that a girl ever gave you butterflies and you said that girl was me. Why did you lie to me? Why didn't you tell me about Toni?"

I turned to face Taylor. "I didn't lie to you. You were the first girl that gave me butterflies. I didn't tell you about Toni because I didn't want to re-live it all over again. The night of the party, I didn't know what was going to happen between us, so I just avoided bringing her up. I'm sorry for not being honest with you."

Taylor nodded her head and she pulled me in for a kiss. "Well, I'm glad that you're here with me now.  I love you so much Karlie Kloss."

"I love you too Taylor Swift."

I got up and repositioned myself behind Taylor, so she sat in between my legs with the blanket wrapped around our bare bodies. Taylor now leaned her head against my shoulder and asked in a shaky voice, "Do you miss her."

I didn't want to answer this question because I knew the truth would hurt her, so I stayed silent. Taylor sat up and turned her head to look at me. "Look me in the eyes Karlie. Do you miss her."

I couldn't do it. I couldn't hurt her. We just went through so much, I couldn't bring myself to tell her I did miss her. But how do we 'begin again' if I kick off our beginning with a lie? I looked down at first before looking back into those crystal blue eyes.  After a long hard swallow, I parted my lips and said, "Yes."