you are not a real Troye Sivan fan if you have not heard of this song
but anyways.....
song: Talk me down - Troye Sivan
.....................................................................................................................................
I had a list of things I wanted to happen this year.
1. Spend a month in London
2. Move to LA
3. Do my first live show
4. Get over stage fright
5. Learn how to invest
6. Pay my taxes
7. Make money
8. Hit 5 million subscribers
9. Read a lot
10. Take days off for me
11. Turned off my phone
12. Maintain my health
13. Stay happy
14. Take a holiday?
15. go to Tokyo
16. Visit Norway
17. Win a grammy?
18. Hit number one
19. Have fun
But then something happened that wasn't on the list.
20. Get a boyfriend
And then something else...
21. Have your heart broken.
------
I place my journal down and walk into my kitchen. I grabbed an egg and cracked it in a pan, letting it's sizzle soothe me. Weird things soothe me. Sounds, pictures....boys.
I flip the egg onto my plate and turn the TV on. "Youtube star Connor Franta announces world tour," It says, not realising the pain I am in. I switch it off. I open my phone and start scrolling through tumblr but even that doesn't help me.
While running my hand through my curls my phone goes off. It's Zoe.
Can I come over ? She asks.
I know that no one knows about Me and Connor's brake up but it's not like I was planning on telling anyone. Even our friends. If Connor told them. Good. I'll let him do the speaking for us.
Yeah sure :) I reply to Zoe.
I didn't really want her to come though. I was a mess. My eyes were still bloodshot red from crying and my hair was in it's original messy curls. It's going to take so much effort to clean myself. Plus I can't be bothered. Which basically leaves me sitting on the couch and hoping time slows down a bit.
Which it didn't.
As I hear the doorbell ring I splash my face with water from the bathroom sink and leave my curls as is because I don't give two shits about impressing anyone today.
As I open the door I feel a cheerful Zoe crash into me with her ginormous hugs. I hug her back trying to find the urge not to collapse into tears on her shoulder. She waltzes into the apartment and smiles. "I love this place. So many good memories," She says.
She looks around for a bit. She seems confused.
"Troye, Where's Connor? It's not like him to be up so early," Zoe say.
And then she said his name.
And my whole world tipped on a slope.
"He's out," I manage to whisper.
"Oh," She says, disappointed. "Well when will he be back?" She asks.
I stand there in silence for a bit.
"When he wants to be my boyfriend again," I say.
I hear her gasp.
"Troye did I just hear you right? Did you say.." She starts.
"When he wants to be my boyfriend again," I say a bit louder.
And then I burst into tears.
No not really.
Zoe looks at me, sadness filling her eyes.
"I'm sorry," She says.
I nod and she wraps her arms around me again.
And then I do burst into tears.
"Hey, it's going to be ok Tro, we'll figure this out," She says which just makes me cry harder.
We won't figure this out. Connor left me and he's not coming back. I won't get to hold him again. I won't get to sleep next to him again. I won't be close to him. Ever. Again. He's gone.
"Troye calm down, Connor is just a boy," Zoe says.
But he's not just a boy. He's my boy. He's my soul mate. That may sound corny but he is. We're perfect for each other. We love each other.
Well we did.
I stil do.
"But I want him back," I cry into her.
Zoe nods her head.
"And knowing Connor, he wants you back too," She says softly playing with my curls.
Normally I would swat her hand away but I didn't.
I just cried.
.................................................
Sorry Children
I know this is crap
And its 712 words
Im lazy af
But on a different note; troye was in Connor's snapchat story today and tht was hella cute :p
I need to do homework but nah.
If you did like this chapter please vote and leave me some love in the comments.
Love you my sweets byeeeeeeee xxx
Oni
