Y'all keep meh goin! Thanks for that! I'm gonna try to update more, but know that I do take my time to make chapters the way they are. Don't wanna rush the story, I wanna add the fluff~
*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•
John
It's not fair. I loved him first. I saw him, noticed him, knew him. I was there. Who threatened his other bullies away? I did. Who made sure to beat up the guys planning to jump him as he walked home? I did. I'm the reason he got home safely. I tried talking to him, but I end up chickening out from being too nervous! Once I hit 17 and just felt hollow, I grew mad. Only lone wolves felt hollow! Axel had to have been my mate. I cared so much for him! There's no way we're not mates. No way.
I just felt depressed as the years went on. 4 years and no mate. I didn't want to believe I was a lone wolf nor did I want to believe Axel wasn't my mate. I still protected him from others, but every time I saw him I couldn't control myself. I ended up becoming his main fear. I watched as my group beat him, "You're such a failure.", I'd repeat to him, thinking he was a failure for making me feel hollow. I at first felt terrible but I convinced myself it's for the best. He'd grow stronger. But every time we bullied him, he'd never fight back. He'd just take it, and that pissed me off so much.
My friends and I were always close, whatever one of us felt we all felt. However, all of them but me had found their mate. We didn't grew apart completely but the gap was there. They always found excuses to not go after Axel.
Then the day came when Axel turned 17. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. No mate trails or whatever. Just nothing. No connection between us. It felt as if all I've ever done to him from protecting him to punishing him were empty. No purpose. Hollow. Like me.
Axel started hanging around Forrest, and it scared me.
"Let's leave him alone! They're obviously mates! Let's just...drop this whole thing!", my friends would say. But no. Why should that guy who never took a second look at Axel all these years get to do and be exactly what I wanted to be. Axel's mate. Why does he, who never once defended Axel, who never even knew he existed get to be Axel's mate?! He's only in love with Axel because he now knows they're mates! He took the easy way and waited, never once looking around! But I did! I looked around! I saw Axel!
"Y-yes!! He's my mate!!....", after those words I didn't know what he said afterwards.
"What do you mean he's your mate?!", I felt so betrayed, "What?! You guys are trying to hide it?! Huh?!".
He gave me that look. Mixed with confusion and sadness. He was no longer scared, I was. Afraid that he would pity me as well.
I raised my voice, "Answe-!!"
Like a flash his hand was on my face, wiping away a tear I didn't even know of.
No...
No...
Not you too...
"John, why are y-", but he never finished. Forrest appeared, burning with jealousy and rage.
I didn't listen to what he even said. It was obvious. He shifted and was about to attack us if it weren't for the Beta, but that only bought enough time for Axel to gather himself to stand in front of me in a defensive position.
It was so odd. The one I've protected all these years, the one I've hurt for selfish reasons, is protecting me. The years of torment I've caused him flashed and I regretted it. It wasn't to make him stronger. I'm just selfish.
Through all of it I only focused on Axel. Everything was muffled as if my ears no longer worked. Then he was walking away from me.
No, don't leave.
"A-Axel..."
He turned around and looked at me with a mixture of confusion and hesitance.
"Umm....", he looked at the Alpha and back at me, but ended up following without a second look.
I reached out my hand unconsciously.
No, don't leave me. I love you!
But I retracted my hand, finally admitting defeat.
No, he's not mine...
Axel's not my mate.
If we were both humans, we'd have nothing to do with mates, and maybe Axel would love me too.
*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*
Hey fellow lemon sponges! So yep! A peek into John's thoughts from the past chapter. Again, thanks for the votes, comments, and messages (ya know who ya are)!! Have a great day/night/whatever!! Oh and keep up with the commenting xD
YOU ARE READING
Finally (BL)
WerewolfBecause their Alpha angered many packs in the past, the whole pack undergoes strict training to prepare themselves from any attacks headed their way. One wolf, however, can't seem to succeed in any of his trainings. That's why the Alpha assigns the...
