What Not to Do With your Stories + Other Randomness

H O R R O R

A N S W E R  T O  Y E S T E R D A Y S  Q U E S T I O N:

Octoberflower24 

You even got the spelling correct :D

However, 

LudiNeko, packable, AddisonMontgomery, &  DancingInTheWaters deserve a pat on the back too. 

Horror is a genre that people don't always prefer. 

I mean, whenever I tell someone that I prefer horror to romance they look at me like I'm crazy (note to person: I AM crazy, thank you very much). 

Anyways, there are certain people who always appear in horror movies/ books, and they annoy the heck out of me. 

The dumb blonde must be that pretty child who is being stalked or whatever. (And it is always the blonde)

It's true that blonde hair is a color that has been alluring in European culture for a very long time and nobody's really sure why. However appealing the color blonde is- it's associated with the lack of intelligence. There was even a scientific study conducted where the participants rated the blonde girl as more approachable and the brunette one as more intelligent. To me, anyone can be smart and I honestly don't understand this stupid stereotype. 

Anyway this so called 'dumb blonde', is the simple minded girl who is either:

a) being killed during an activity such as painting their nails, tanning, or playing volleyball (oh, and they scream a lot)

or

b) being stalked for being approachable

The Comic Relief 

The one who makes stupid jokes while they're running from an axe-murderer. 

Because everyone needs humor when they're about to be killed. :D

Oh, and this person usually ends up dying at the end. *sobs*

The Black/Asian Dude

This is that amazingly awesome guy who no one pays attention to. It's also expected that this dude is going to die- I mean, why don't they just kill the main character off? Plus, he's usually there just to make people feel bad, but I honestly can't feel that bad because I've seen it more times than you can count. (They just have to kill the minority off >-<)

The Child's Ghost

That random ghost that pops up in every horror book. To be honest, it's getting really tiring. You know why? Because they never explain how this person died and what their motives are for haunting their victim. AND WHY ARE THEY ALWAYS GIRLS OR TWIN GIRLS OR A HEADLESS GIRL?

WHY NOT A BOY?
or better yet

WHY NOT A SCARY ADULT GHOST WHO WAS AN AXE MURDERER WHEN THEY WERE ALIVE BUT GOT SHOT BY THEIR PARTNER AND SWEAR TO SEEK REVENGE ON THEIR PARTNER AND ANYONE TO DO WITH THAT CERTAIN PERSON?

The 'Scary' Stalker

I know, he's (yes, it's usually a dude, never a lady <- can women not be stalkers too?) supposed to be scary, but he's usually not. Just take a look at the hot list for horror.

She Belongs to Me

Her Stalker

Save Me

Captured By Him

Stalked by a Murderer

Yep yep and yep, all stalker stories. The first one was amazing and I absolutely loved it but now the stalker thing is getting really overused. And yes, this person is usually stalking the 'dumb blonde'.

The Killer

This French Dude <- again, never a women, who randomly breaks into a house and starts killing everyone in sight.

Umm yes, totally believable. And he usually turns invisible when he passes by the police.

And he has magical powers.

And he has a secret- he's Voldemort in disguise.

Oh, and he's a witch too.

The Model in Her Underwear

The pretty girl who runs outside in her underwear to inspect whatever creepy noise.

I understand that you probably won't have enough time to put on an outfit but come on.

This supermodel ends up fighting the killer (yes, Voldemort in disguise) with a pencil sharpener and dies.

The Spouse

"AHHHHHHHHHHH! HONEY! THE DOOR JUST CREAKED! WE'RE BEING HAUNTED!"

How about the wind? What if it's a bunny rabbit? What if you stepped on a loose floorboard?

Not everything is a sign of a haunting. Jeez, loosen up a bit. 

And there's probably more of them but I can't think of them off the top of my head so there.

Q U E S T I O N  O F  T H E  D A Y 

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?