What Not to Do With your Stories + Other Randomness

N O T E S A N D T H E L I K E

Do author's notes bother you guys too? Sure, I'm all up for the useful author's notes but half the time the note ends up being something really stupid.

I was once reading this amazing book and then...

A STUPID A/N IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CHAPTER. WHAT IN THE WORLD? SERIOUSLY, WHAT?

When the author makes their book seem 50xs better then it actually is and adds an author's note that has relatively nothing to do with the actual story.

"Well, wasn't that a wonderful ending? I can't believe MC did that! [proceeds to write entire paragraph of self] BYE MY WITTLE SEA LIONS!"

A/N's in the beginning of the story are annoying too- because they end up being something like... this:

"Hey y'all sea lions! So, in this chapter MC is going to jump off a cliff and then DIE! And then there's going to be a wonderful surprise for you in paragraph three and four.

But i'm really sry if this chapter sux because I didn't have any time to actually plan it or anything. BUT DONT U DARE SAY IT SUX BECAUSE IT IS MY BOOTYFUL STORY AND ONLY I CAN SAY IT SUX!

BYE! xoxoxoxo"

Somebody please tell me the point of Author's notes that are practically pages long or the author's notes with SONG LYRICS in them.

Ahem.

It's bad enough to see song lyrics in the chapter (nobody will ever read them) but in the author's notes.

Hold up.

You just went too far this time. TOO FAR.

Oh, and I almost forgot the humorous author's notes.

WHAT.

"Wassup, lovelies? If y'all don't vote on this chapter, I'll send my giant pet rat to murder your soul! MWAHAHAHA!

Wait, did I just... laugh? I did! OMG! I'm such a sarcastic evil brat. MWAHAHA! I loves y'all crazies and I would never send a giant rat after you guys- or maybe I would? Who knows? *continues to talk about stupid things that they find humorous (but are not actually funny in the slightest)*"

>.<

Has anybody else noticed human beings who critique things like they're the most professional writers ever but then you check their work and it's riddled with mistakes?

Well, I'll tell you about a time something like that happened.

So, this lovely person writes this amazing chapter, and of course, she has a couple of teensy punctuation errors but no one cared enough to point this out.

All of a sudden, this person appears.

Hey there, so I saw that you have a punctuation error in paragraph two, sentence one, paragraph five, sentence six, paragraph seven, sentence two, and paragraph one, sentence two. Honestly, why are you even writing if you have this many errors in a chapter? huh? You suck.

And of course, I then go visit their works and the first paragraph looks something like this:

MC IS SOOO BOOTYFUL WITH CURLY LOCKS OF GOLDEN AND SAPPHIRE EYES AND A THIN WAIST AND THIN LEGS AND HER BEST FRIEND IS MIA CROSSWIRE (ANOTHER MC) AND HER Boy Friend IS MAX CROSS (ANOTHER MC)))  AND THEY ALL LOVE EACH OTHER AND SHE GOES TO SCHOOL AT LOCKWOOD HIGH BUT ALWAYS DITCHES BUT ALL THE TEACHERS LOVE HER BECAUSE SHE IS SO AMAZING AND THEN SHE STARTED TO CUT BECAUSE HER BOYFRIEND PUNCHED HER IN THE NOSE BUT THEN HE SAID SORRY :D:D:D:D:D

Excuse me?

Why in the world are you telling others to stop writing when your own work looks like this, and I'm sure you could do so much better- but you don't even have punctuation! :)

>.<

Authors who wait years to update- and when they do, song lyrics make up like 95% of the chapter.

Gee, thanks.

>.<