What Not to Do With your Stories + Other Randomness

M Y B E A U T I F U L S T O R Y

WARNING: DO NOT READ IF YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR BRAIN! 

Trigger Warning: Suicide 

"Hi! My name is Jordanoa von swizzle nuggetty fish the third and I have beautiful orbs and hair and thin thighs and all that jazz"

"RING RING RING!" 

The alarm clock wakes me up from my slumber and I flutter my eyes open. I yawn and stretch my arms. OH NO! I look at my alarm clock, it's 9 already! I am sooo late! 

I jump up from my bed, throw on an oversized sweater, skinny jeans, and throw my beautiful blonde hair into a messy bun. I don't understand why everyone at school hates me- I AM SOOO UGLY THOUGH! 

Anyways, I got into my car and did a figure eight thingy to school and I drove as fast as i could and i didnt get catched by the police somehow. Anyways, I rushed into my class and Mr. Pants (my teacher started staring at me) and I smoothed out my pants a little bit but then he yelled at me because it turns out hes 45 years old and i cant crush on him even though I want to so bad. 

THEN this random guy who sits next to me in Algebra said he was a werewolf and we kissed and then he revealed that he was actually a werewolf-vampire hybrid and that the tribes were fighting and that he needed my help.

"come on Jordonoa!" he said

"Let's go kick some behinds!"

And then we uttered our war cries and went full swing into the middle of the war. Then the werewolves won and the boy (whose name is actually Jake John James Jamieson Johnson Johanna Jack Lopez)'s mom came and told me that I was actually a werewolf! 

Then I fell to the floor and had a seizure and then my body started to turn into a wolve's body and I became a white wolf! WHY CAN'T I BE A RAINBOW WOLF?

Then Jake turned into a Black wolf and we rubbed our muzzles together. Then he said that we had to find my birth family becuz both of my adoptive parents are human and couldnt have given birth to me. Turns out I only have two older brothers and then they started punching me because it turns out that when I was three, I was playing in a stream and my real mummy and poppy saw a weird black wolf rogue thingy and they jumped on him and he bit their necks and then I started to cry and people thought I did it becuz there was no rogue and my brothers said they gave me for adoption because I was such a bad girl.

Anyways, Jake left me with my brothers and I turned human and I ran into their house and got someones random shirt and shorts and put them on. 

THE NEXT DAY....

I have to clean all the stupid floors and everything :((((( it's not fair! Then Lily Blossom Johnson Blah blah blah came and kicked me and told me to make breakfast becuz I am the pack bad girl.

And then I smelled Vanilla frosting and used my wonderful wolf senses to track it down to Jack who said:

"You r not my MATE!"

And then he said, "I, Jake John James Jamieson Johnson Johanna Jack Lopez, reject you, Jordanoa von swizzle nuggetty fish the thir, as my mate"

 Then I started to cry and ran down to my room and wrote a note to my brothers saying I was going to run away and all that jazz. Then I took a little red bundle with white polka dots and stuffed thingies into it and attached it to a stick and I jumped out of my open window. 

Brothers POV:

A tear was sqeezed from my eye when I red what my sister wrote. BROTHER! i yelled, why did u hurt her? u was her oldest brother? U WERE SO MEAN TO HER! and then we faught like hyenas  AND WE jumped out the window to see if we could find our new-found sister...

JORDONOA POV:

OMGOMGOMGOMG I just saw the most beautiful male of my life. He is sooooo handsome and beautiful and it turns out hes a rogue so he takes me back to his pack (rogue wolf? pack? what even) and says that I have to go to school there. Anwyays. I become the nerd of the school there and my brothers find me 5 weeks later and say they missed me so musch.  "BROTHERS!" I yell and almost hug them efore kicking them because they were such abusers to me! AND THEN THE JOCK OF THE SCHOOL, mike SAYS HE LOVES ME! So now we r the nerd and the jock and cheerleader Ashley uglyface keeps on whispering stupid things to me and being soo mean tooo me. And its not fair.

Anyways, my brothers are tryin to be nice to me n stuff and try to make me go back to their pack but I wont because I found a new mate and we were almost about to mate! Anywayz, we strt training for some wolf against weird wolf pack war because the Luna of the universe said we had to and that I was part of some special prophecy. Then our pack leader (18 yr old Johnny Campbell) said we had to help my old pack becuz they didn't have any weapons and they didn't have anything, actually.

So we went running to my old pack (which is actually only two minutes away from here and I am so surprised that nobody found me yet) all while singing Hello by Adele. Then I saw Jack again, my old mate and he said he was so sorry for rejecting me :(((. And then I became sad again but before I could kick him, the evil wolves came and started fighting with us and then the alpha of the pack (Jack) said tht every female and child had to hide underground, but I said I was gonna fight! SO I became a wolf and tighed my clothes around my paws so that I would nt be naked again and we fought.  And then someone shot  spear through Jacks heart and the Luna came down and said it was all part of some stupid prophecy. And then the vampires and Katniss Everdeen came raining down and started to help us. And then the evil wolves with glowing red eyes left and we won but there were so many dead ppl! Actually, wolves, but whatever. And then I lay on top of my mate and became human again and put on my clothes really fast. And then I started crying and he came back to life (like in the Beauty and the Beast).

Then he started laughing and we cried and we went back inside his house. Then we all started singing Alive by Sia. Then my old mate (the jock guy) started cussing at me and kicking me but then Jack started yelling at him and then all three of us kissed and it turns out Jack and the Jock are actually twins and all three of us are mates! So we all mated and then I became pregnant with Octuplets!

Darcy, Darcinia, Darco, Draco, Katniss, Peeta, Lily-Blossom, and Jordania  are my children.

10 years later:

Darcy, Darcinia, Darco, Katniss, Peeta, Lily, and Jordania are now ten years old and have eight more siblings! LOtus, Lily, Bria, Fawn, Jasmine, October, Octopus, and JAK!

And then Jock dude got arrested because he hd commited incest with his brother, Jack and then Jack became a CEO of a huuuuge company! And I became his secretary and we kissed everywhere! And the security cameras caught all of it but luckily, we have a booty-ful gay friend named Esmerelda who is super feminine and loves shopoping and is great with computers and he deleted all of the footage! Then one day I organized a party and I sang for 1D and Justin Bieber! And then my husband/mate started yelling at me!! Then I went to college and yelled at everyone that I met 1D AND TAYLOR SWIFT AND EVERY POP STAR IN THE WORLD and my bff, Sarah, yelled at me and hugged me and fainted!

Oh, and it turns out we actually live in districts and there is this thing called the 'Witchy Corruption' that happens every year and Lily, my daughter was picked but then I volunteered as tribute! And because I'm stupid, my beautiful face was scarred by fire in the arena when I killed people with Greek-fire and I had ot get plastic surgery! Now I look like a Barbie doll and all my children hate me :DDDDD'

And then I was picked as the chosen one for something, I am SUCH AN EXCITING PERSON! Anyways, I divorced my stupid CEO rich guy husband and we all loved happily ever after. Oh, but I last forgot, he got 8 of ghar kids, an foot the other eight, but he never have me any money so I had to but them in orphanages where they were adopted by Harry Styles. And then Zayn Malik adopted me even though I'm 20 something and I got married to Harry styles. and then I ate at nandos and started cutting myself and became a suicidal depressed teenage girl and then Harry Styles kissed me and I got cured. And en news walking down an alley and some random guy said hello to me and I started to cry and then I fell in love with him, and it turns out he's actually the Jock dude who was in prison.

"RING RING RING!" Too bad my whole fantasy was just a dream. 

The end.