Chapter 54 - part i

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(No Control - 54. Fool's Gold, first part)

I'm woken on Tuesday morning by a phonecall from Karen. She's the last person I feel like speaking to, so it is with a huff that I answer the phone.

"What does the name 'Joy Muggli' mean to you?" she says, without any pleasantries.

"Sounds like something out of Harry Potter," I mumble, rubbing my hand over my face, and there is a brief pause.

"I take it you don't know her, then?" Karen asks, in a slightly less clipped tone.

"Who?" I ask, letting my eyes close again.

"Joy Muggli."

"Am I dreaming?" I ask, and then realise if I know I'm dreaming, I'm probably not dreaming.

Karen gives a deep sigh.

"Well, it's not as bad as I thought, but I think you're going to be pretty annoyed," she tells me.

"About what?" I ask, but she tells me she'll call me back and hangs up without another word.

I'm brooding over Sunday's shouting match with Jess (for the hundredth time) when she rings again.

"Heat Magazine are running a story about you and your new girlfriend, this Joy Muggli," she explains.

"For God's sake," I mutter, rolling my eyes at the wall.

"I think she's gone to a lot of lengths to make it look convincing," she says with air of disgust.

"What do you mean? I don't even know who she is."

"Well, she's Tweeted about being on Cecconi's the same day you were pictured there. She's posted a picture on Instagram of the view from one of the golf resorts you were pictured at recently. She's posted a picture of her lunch, and there is someone in the background with a hand tattoo that mimics yours. She's got an identical jacket to yours, a matching Pingu tattoo..."

"Woah woah woah," I interrupt. "What the hell? Is she some kind of psycho?"

"I don't know," Karen admits. "She knows Dan, and he says she's harmless, but the way she's making things look, if it's deliberate, could potentially be damaging for your privacy."

"She knows Dan? Dan Richards?"

He's our guitarist.

"Apparently," Karen replies. "What are your thoughts?"

"Ignore it, as always," I say immediately.

"Good," she says briskly. "I thought you'd say that. I'll keep tabs on her, of course. I'll let you know if anything else comes to light. They're running the story over here tonight so it'll be in tomorrow's issue."

"Great," I say sarcastically.

I ring Mum to let her know the article is false, and end up going over everything with me and Jess all over again. She tries to convince me to ring Jess and sort things out, but to be honest I just need breather from it all. I'm lying in bed that night, just about to fall asleep when my phone beeps with a text from Jess. My heart doesn't even pound. I'm just so fed up of everything.

She's sent me a photo of the front cover of Heat, with 'HARRY'S NORMAL NEW GIRLFRIEND' emblazoned in large white letters over a horrible photo of me, and a one-word text: Nice.

Any point telling you it's not true? I respond immediately. I haven't got the energy for another row.

Nope, she texts back.

For fuck's sake, this girl! Why is she so convinced I'm a liar?!

How would I keep another girlfriend secret from you for three months??? Come on!, I type furiously.

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