Trace of Innocence (No Control Book 3)

Chapter 72 - part i

(No Control - 72. Last First Kiss, first part)

Our next show is Wednesday 10th June in Vienna. I've been trying to push all thoughts of my screaming match with Louis to the back of my mind and not think about it, but I decide to call him and apologise properly before the show so there is no awkwardness. He is surprisingly forgiving, and mutters an apology to me too for the things he said in the heat of the moment, before he resumes his usual piss-taking about my relationship with Jess and we agree not to mention our argument ever again.

I'm relieved we are back on good terms, and the Vienna show runs smoothly and without a hitch. I remind the boys I am flying straight to New York afterwards, and am met with low-key confused looks between the three of them.

"What's the craic with this night out?" Niall asks bluntly. "It's a long way to go for just one night."

"I know, but I haven't seen Jeff in ages," I reply.

"You'll have all summer to see him," Louis points out. "I would have thought you'd be anxious to cram in every last second with Jess before we head over to the US."

"I know," I sigh. "That's the only downside. But I really fancy a break, and some time to myself."

"Is everything alright with you and Jess?" Liam asks quietly once Louis and Niall are distracted.

"Yeah, it's going great," I beam. "Couldn't be better, seriously."

"OK that's good," he smiles back. "I'm pleased for you, mate."

.......

I fly straight to New York after the gig, on the jet with the squeaky seat. I'm feeling a bit deflated at the thought of being away from Jess until the weekend, but I am genuinely looking forward to seeing Jeff and having a good night out. I stay awake as long as I can on the flight, and when we land I go straight to my hotel, send quick texts to Mum, Jess, Jeff and Nadine to let them know I've arrived, and then zonk out on the bed.

Luckily I've remembered to set my alarm, and I am up, showered and dressed by late morning. My car arrives to pick me up to drive me to Nadine's hotel where I am meeting her for lunch. I see a text from Jess while I'm in the car that simply says, I love you xx so I send a guilty one back:

Love you too. Going for lunch with Jeff, I'll ring you later on xxx

I hate myself for lying to her. I can't wait to get home so I can confess everything. I'm dreading that whole conversation because I know it isn't going to go well, but it can't be worse than the guilt I'm carrying around. I haven't even done anything wrong, really; it's not like I've cheated. I just hate being dishonest.

When I arrive at the hotel there are no paps, because they haven't even been alerted to the fact I am not in the UK like the rest of the boys. There is something oddly satisfying about slipping through the pap net and turning up somewhere unexpected, like, surprise!!

I am welcomed by the maître d' and am taken to a table in the corner. I sit with my back to the room, wondering if anyone has recognised me. (I'm not trying to be cocky - I just don't want pictures of me having lunch with Nadine all over Twitter before I've told Jess.) It's unlikely in a high-end establishment like this, but you just never know.

"Hi, Harry."

I look up and see Nadine shyly approaching the table, wearing a soft smile. I stand up to greet her and give her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. I half expect to feel something, but I don't, and she sits down opposite me at our table.

"You look great," she says, smiling coyly at me. "Black has always suited you."

"Uh, thanks. You look nice too," I offer, lamely.