Trace of Innocence (No Control Book 3)

Chapter 74

(No Control - 74. Drag Me Down)

My phone is ringing. It's Jess.

I can't speak to her again. I've hurt her enough. I ignore the calls, and when she doesn't give up, I switch my phone off for half an hour.

The silence is deafening.

I stare at the walls but I don't see them. I don't see anything. I just feel.

Misery. Anger. Confusion. Hurt. Self-loathing. Misery.

It's a never-ending cycle.

I switch my phone back on again. I close my eyes. The pain inside me doesn't lessen.

My phone is vibrating again. It's Karen this time.

I don't know how long I've been sitting here. I don't know how long my phone has been ringing. Dale is looking at me with intense concern on his face. My head is pounding and my face is wet with tears.

My hands are shaking so hard I can barely answer the call.

"Harry? Are you there?"

"Yes," I croak. "What is it?"

There is a pause on the other end.

"Are you alright?" she asks. She sounds worried.

The tone of her voice breaks me again and my chest heaves with fresh sobs.

"Harry?" she says uncertainly. "What's going on? What's the matter?"

"Everything's falling apart," I choke. "The band. Me. Zayn's gone. Louis.... Jess.... I can't - I can't...," I stammer, and hold the phone out helplessly to Dale. He takes it from me and they have a brief conversation, presumably about me but I don't hear, and I'm past caring. I hear something about about a phonecall to Jess, and the flight being brought forward, but everything sounds echoey and far away.

Dale hands me my phone back, and I look at it to see Louis' name now on the screen.

"Hi," I mumble.

"Mate, are you alright?" he asks. "Karen's worried sick. She's been trying to call your mum and everything. You've told Jess?"

"Yeah. Yeah Jess knows. It's over."

My face crumples again, and I zone out of the conversation.

"H? H!" Louis is trying to get my attention.

"What?" I mumble.

"Do you think Jess will sell her story?"

"What?!" I exclaim, brought back to the present with a bump. "Don't be fucking stupid. Of course not."

There is a slight hesitation, before Louis says, "Mate, are you sure?"

"Course I'm sure," I reply, immediately. "Why are you asking me this shit? I don't fucking need this."

"Sorry, sorry," he mutters. "Karen's worried she might."

"Karen's full of shit," I snap. "She'll be stressing because I wouldn't let Jess sign an NDA."

"Fuck - even El signed one of them," he says, and he sounds shocked.

"I trust her," I tell him, and this brings a fresh wave of misery. I feel like I'm drowning.

"I know. I know," he says softly. "What happened when you told her?"

"She screamed at me. She cried. It's over. She keeps trying to call me. I don't know why she keeps trying to call me."