One Hell Of A Master (Sebastian x Male!OC/Reader x Ciel)

Chapter 22: Rememberance...

*Toba’s P.O.V*

I lay on my black canopy bed and stared up at the ceiling through the thin cover up. It had been three whole weeks since the confessions, and I was still torn. First, I had to get past betraying my love for, well, you know… And then I had to choose who I wanted to be with. Even if I was to choose one, despite being in love all over again… My heart would still remember that day.

It was just too much!

I burried my head into one of my pillows. I didn’t know what to do… And it wasn’t like I could ask anyone to help… What should I do?

“Toba-kun,” said Crystal as she entered my room carrying a black and blue bouquet of roses and tulips.

“What’s that for?” I asked as I glanced at her.

Crystal’s eyes widened. “What do you mean?” she asked in a worried tone.

I only tilted my head to the side.

“D-do you know what day it is?” asked Crystal as she gently placed the nicely wrapped flowers on my nightstand.

“What are you talking about?” I asked even more confused.

“It is the 14th of November,” said Crystal as she opened my wardrobe and pulled out a black suit.

I looked at her for a while and they my own eyes began to widen. “It’s…”

“The anniversary of Akazeto’s death,” said Crystal as she nodded her head.

Before I could fully prepare myself, I felt tears start to pour out of my eyes. The specks of water rushed like a waterfall out of my brown eyes. I felt Crystal rush over to me and wrap her warm arms around me.

“It’s okay,” said Crystal as she began to comfort me. “He wouldn’t want you to cry like this… Not over something that happened so long ago…”

I furiously shook my head as I pulled away from her embrace. “It’s not that, Crystal,” I sobbed.

“Then what is it?” asked Crystal.

“I forgot!” I whaled. “I forgot that he had passed away today! I forgot that the man I loved died for me on this day! I forgot! How could I ever forgive myself?! How could I do something like this?!”

I then stood and stormed out of the room, making sure to grab the bouquet on my way out.

“Toba!” yelled Crystal as she rushed after me. “Where are you going?!” Crystal grabbed my wrist and held it tight.

“I’m going to visit his grave!” I yelled tears full and apparent.

“What are you planning on doing once you get there?” asked Crystal as she glared at me.

“The same thing I always do,” I said anger boiling within.

“And what do you always do?!” yelled Crystal. “Cry? Beg for forgiveness? Wish that the monster had taken you instead?!”

“So what if I do!”

“You can’t do that! What would Akazeto think?!”

“He wouldn’t think anything!” I yelled as I snatched my hand away. “Want to know why? Because he’s dead! He can’t change the way I feel! He’s dead! Gone! As in, I’m never going to see the one person that I ever loved again-gone!” I burst into tears. “I hate it so much! Why couldn;t the monster take me?! Why did it have to steal Akazeto from life and joy! Why did he do that! Why did Akazeto leave me?! Why?!”

Crystal looked at me with wide, tearful eyes as I poured my heart out to her.

“He could have stayed you know?! he could have protected Stacy and Mimi and I would have been fine with that, but no! He had to save me! He had to be the stupid hero! Why?! Why?” I fell to my knees and cried. The tears were endless… Nothing but pain and regret… That’s all I had felt all of this time. I couldn’t take it… I just wanted to ask why? Why did he do it? Why did he say he loved me as his last words? Why not leave me in ignorant bliss? Why? You idiot! Why?