No Wolf's End (Book 3 Of Mckayla Series)

Chapter 13

Nina

Waking up, I found Mckayla sleep in the corner of our room, leant against the wall with her head slanted down to one side. Why hadn't she come lay with me?

I moved over the piles of pillows and blankets I was laying on, crawling over to Mckayla. Both her hands rested on her lap, one of her legs curled up with her knee pointed to the ceiling. By the sky still being filled with darkness it was no later than 5a.m. Her head rocked left and right, eyes tightening and I knew she was in a dream.

Instead of waking her, I moved away. Every time I tried waking her she only leaped out of it in distress.
I got up, heading for the door and closed it gently. Walking through the house I made it downstairs to the kitchen with Laurie sitting at the table, quiet. Her eyes shifted to me before I made it to her, desperate.

I frowned, concerned something happened. "Everything alright?"

"When did you know?"

Again I frowned, this time perplexed. "Know what?"
"That you loved Mckayla."

By the look in Laurie's eyes I could tell she was going through a mental dilemma. I cleared my throat, taking a seat on the other end of her. "I always knew. When I was about your age." I sighed, thinking about how scared I was at losing Mckayla. I remember being that seventeen year old girl, like Laurie was now...worried about Mckayla's future. Her father drilled the role of Alpha into Mckayla and I feared the day she would become one. Everyone would want her attention and I would not be able to have her to myself. I realized now, I was always jealous. It was not a part of me I wanted to have. Jealousy could become a nasty thing. My jealousy was ruining our relationship. "I didn't see it though. I didn't want to see it."

"What about when she left." Laurie was aware of Mckayla leaving our pack for several years but no one told her why. She had an idea but...still.

I could be honest with Laurie. I figured this was something she needed to hear. "I...told McKayla's father about her liking other girls." Laurie looked astonished. "I know. Worst thing I could have done."

"Why did you?"

Because I was stupid and scared. "At the time. I thought I was helping her. But once I got older, I realized I was scared of acting on my own feelings for her." I leaned more into the chair. "I hurt her...really bad."

"Because you were afraid."

I nodded. "I was afraid to love her. At that time...not many would have accepted us together. I didn't accept myself."

"Then when she came back..."

I finished what she was pulling out of me to say, "I found her again and she was different from the girl I knew. I thought she wanted to kill me a few times." I have a half laugh at that. "All I know, is that I would fight for her. Screw anyone else. The idea of letting her go a second time..." I shook my head... "I couldn't accept that."

Laurie nodded. "And...what about now?" Her voice was small when she asked that question.

Had it seemed I quit on Mckayla. Did I? I frowned. "What Mckayla and I are going through, it's different."

"Is it?"

"Yes. We aren't the same two women who loved each other as kids...nor the same two reunited several months ago."

Laurie nodded. "But you still love her..."

"Of course." I looked at Laurie a moment longer before speaking. "Do you and Kaylee think Mckayla and I don't love each other anymore?"

Laurie shook her head. "No. That's not what I was saying. I know you love each other. I was there when she looked for you and Sara...after being taken by those vampires."