Anomalous Lovers.

Confused Feelings.

I walked into my home and locked the door, before shutting it. I saw that the only light that was on was the kitchen light. Then I heard my dad's voice. He sounded angry with whoever he was talking to. I listened in on the conversation. He was talking to mom.  "You don't just do something like that! I thought we had an agreement." He said. "You're being selfish! You don't realize how this will effect me. I'm the one who has to go through it all. You would never understand." She responded. "Selfish? How am I being selfish? You're talking about getting rid of our child, because you can't last a few months without putting a damn needle in you. You never did anything for our kids! You think this time would be different! The whole point of you staying here was for us to fix this! You're nothing to me. Nothing to my kids. Nothing at all." I was surprised to hear all this. They seemed to be liking each other all over again and now they're arguing. But what the hell does he mean by "get rid of our child"? I'm not going anywhere and neither is Myra. I've heard enough for the night. I just need to sleep.
~~~~~~
Amyra wanted me to come with her to the mall. She needed me to drive her there for a job interview and I had nothing else to do, so why not?

As we were driving, we listened to music and just talked. It was nice, cause we haven't been talking as much as we used to. "Did you hear them arguing last night?" She asked. "Yeah...I heard." I replied. "I don't know...They just seemed so good before. You know?" I nodded. "I honestly just don't even want to be home. Trevor is supposed to be going to Tennessee with his family." She said. "Yeah, Red told me, but I don't think they're going this year. Cynthia's been having problems. The doctor said her baby is pretty low for 6 months and it could be premature, so they're worried and Red said they'll probably stay here just in case anything happens. Plus something happened with their car." I explained. She didn't speak. I turned to get a glimpse of her. She looked annoyed. I put my attention back on the road. "What's wrong?" I asked. She shrugged. "You always mention her, or the baby. It has nothing to do with me." She said. "Well you decided to be with someone who's expecting. This is your boyfriend's baby. If you plan on being with him, then it has something to do with you. Don't be childish in adult situations, if it's what you signed up for." I said. She sighed. "How would you feel if Scorpio had a baby on the way?" She said softly. The whole day I had been trying not to think of him. "It wouldn't matter. What he does has nothing to do with me." I said. She stared at me intensely. "Aren't you guys still together?" She asked. "I don't know." I answered. "What happened? Didn't you just go out with him?" She asked. "Yeah, but...I don't know. It's like I care about him so much, but he comes with so many problems. I don't know if it's worth it. He's just a guy." I replied. She giggled. "He comes with so many problems? Sweetheart, you come from a broken home, raised by a single father, with a drug addict of a mother, a bitchy sister, you're kind of a bitch yourself, you just got arrested, and you're hard headed. You don't think you come with problems?" I rolled my eyes and held my tongue. "What I'm saying is, if you're in a relationship, you both have problems, learning to deal with them is what build it." I parked and stared at her. "Since when did you join team Scorpio?" I scowled. "I didn't. I can't stand the bitch. It's just being with Trevor kinda made me realize that you like who you like, and you shouldn't let temporary things or things you can work around, stop something that could possibly be forever." I stared at her oddly. "Uh huh, okay Dr. Feel Good." I mocked. "Shut up and let's go."
~~~~~~
We had left the mall a few minutes ago and were a few blocks from Family Dollar, and I wanted a Brisk tea and snack, so I pulled into the parking lot and went inside. I went to the back where the coolers were and got a cold drink and then chose some candy to snack on. I headed toward the counter.

The person in line looked like Shawn from behind, but I wasn't sure. Just as I went to hide my face he got a glimpse of me. He looked surprised and kind of relieved. He turned back around, paid the woman and left. Why did he just leave? Did he give up on me already? I had a feeling he'd be right outside though. I'm not dumb. He doesn't give up. I paid for the materials and then left and what a surprise it was to see him. I continued walking, but he grabbed me by the arm. I didn't even speak to him, I just began trying to pull my arm from his grip. "Babe, listen to me. Stop-" "No! Let go of me." I muttered. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and pulled me close, to restrain me. "Shawn get off." This was ridiculous and embarrassing. "Then let me talk to you." I continued to try to break away from him. "Okay!" I said. He let go of me and I turned around to face him. "Well, what?" I snapped, attempting to ignore the crazy stares we were getting. "I love you. Okay? I don't want to lose you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know it may look really wrong, but it's not like that." He said. "Then what? What is it?" I asked. "Okay, I f***** her. More than once actually. Different kinds of ways too." It took everything in me, not to slap the life out of him. "I've had sex with 5 girls in my life so far. I've had feelings for only one of them. I no longer have feelings for any of them. I'll never have feelings for them ever again. I'm not going to stand here and tell you that I wasn't what people have told you that I am. I'm not going to make it seem like I'm pure. I'm not going to try and make you think I'm perfect, or angelic. I'm far from that. You knew what I was, before you even knew me. I have never cheated on you. I haven't lied to you. I may keep secrets, but it's for your own good. I don't want you to know everything about me, because I know you'd look at me differently-" "Differently how?" I asked. "The way you look at me now." He said softly. "If you knew half the things I've done, you'd probably avoid me." He admitted. In a way, it worried me. He's not a bad person. So why is he acting like it? "Well what have you-" "Mira!" I looked over his shoulder at Myra, who was poking her head out the car door. "Ohh my bad" she said awkwardly. "Could I stop by later?" He asked. I really didn't want him to, but I could see how depressed he seemed. I hated seeing him so down. I didn't really get this side of him too often. Unless we were discussing his dad. "Well my dad is off tonight, so.." He looked really disappointed. "I can just..I can come over. If you want?" He smiled. "Yeah, that'd be fine." He said. I nodded. "Alright, I'll see you then." I said.

I was planning on finding out tonight what he meant by "secrets". I wanted to know everything.