Anomalous Lovers.

Friends.

Sorry this was supposed to be published a while ago.

I quickly gathered my materials. I had never been in more of a rush than the one I was in now. As I walked through the hall, amongst other students, I began to think. I was in deep thought. I wasn't going to let him play with me. I also couldn't let him go. I had to fight for him. He'd give me another chance. All the problems I had encountered with him, yet I still have him chances...why would he not? If he chose not to, I'd understand, but not trying would make it seem like I didn't want it...and I'd be lying if I went about things that way. I have to talk to him. I know I should let him breath. I know he told me not to talk to him unless he spoke to me, but thinking back on all the times he didn't give me space, or time I had gained enough courage to go against his demands.
I know his schedule and right about now he was on his way to his forensics class, so I took a quick 360 and headed in the opposite direction. What the hell was I doing?

To my surprise he was standing outside of his class, talking to a curly red haired girl. She was curvy and most definitely not ugly, but she wasn't me and I felt some type of way about it. First Antalya, now this? Was he on some hoe spree? "Scorpio." I say, approaching the two and interrupting their obvious flirtatious conversation. He looked pretty surprised, but more smug to see me. "What?" He nodded. "We need to talk." I said. Before he replied, I got the usual "Who's she?" From the girl. "She's a...um. Amira." He seemed...off. Almost as if he didn't want to speak of my name. "Yeah. I don't want to know her name. I want to know who's she? Why do you need to talk? Who is she to you." I almost wanted to laugh. This one seemed too comfortable. Especially if we just broke up, and damn near everybody knew we were together. "Don't worry about it. She's a friend, and if she was more it wouldn't matter." He says bluntly. "Friend" stuck out to me the most, but I wanted to ask who this "she" they were speaking of was too, because "she" was obviously right here and they were talking like "she" wasn't. It annoyed me that my presence was kind of being ignored. "Oh?" She scoffed. He seemed confused "What? You didn't think me and you were a...Oh. Sorry. We're not." He chuckled. It was weird to witness his fuckboy tendencies in action. I had never seen him like this. "Lose my number." She says. "It was never saved." She rolled her eyes. "Fück you." Then she was gone. I took a moment to take in what I had just witnessed. I wanted to argue over it, but I really had no right. Maybe this was his way of coping with what I did to him. "What the hell do you want?" He turned to me. I wasn't surprised by his tone to be honest, but for some reason all emotions were hitting me and all the courage I had left me in that moment alone. The bell rings and the halls are basically empty at this point. "Well I'm late now, so if it's not-" "I want you." I spoke. "I want us." I added. "But you don't. If you did you wou-" "I did it, okay? I made a mistake and I regret it so much. I don't get why you can't give me another chance after all the times I've let go anytime that you put me in fücked up situations." The tears that were streaming down my face had gone too far to stop them now. I was more angry than sad though. "All the times I had to look past your mistakes. I accept you and everything you've ever done and I messed up once..I admit it was a huge mistake. A terrible one...but it was once and I couldn't even live with myself without coming to you right after it happened. I couldn't keep it from you, because I love you and I'd never want to hurt you...I hurt me too, Shawn..And I think that's what you're failing to realize." I tried thinking of more to say when I realized he wasn't going to respond. I look to the floor and gulp. There was really nothing more to say. I looked back into his unreadable expression. "I know you still love me." I said, confidently. "I never said I didn't." He admitted with no shame. "I'd just like to be able to say that without you turning around and making me look stupid. You are the first girl I truly loved..and I think that's what you're failing to realize." He said. I looked away, thinking of a response before I could he went on. "I've been here for you..and you did that to me." I sighed, preparing to state my case, but when I looked back at him, he had tears running down his cheeks. "You really fücked me up...and I hate it because-because even though I want to hate you for it. I can't. I shouldn't want you, but you're the only person I want and I really shouldn't." I just wanted to wrap my arms around him. I just wanted to let him know that I wanted no one else. "I hate it because I know that I'm still yours, but I don't know if you're still mine. I don't know if-" he stops abruptly. "Why did you do it?" He asks. "Because I was stupid." I answered without even thinking. "Why are you crying." He asks seeming annoyed as he wiped his own face. "Because I miss you." I said. "I didn't sleep with them." He says randomly. "I know you're thinking I did. You think I slept with a bunch of girls to piss you off and I was going to, but..I couldn't, so there's your answer." He wasn't wrong. "Because I wouldn't do that to you." He finished. "I know." I lied. "No you don't know." He switched up, seeming more angry now. "You've been waiting for me to mess up since I've been with you. You've been questioning me every time some girl made up some new story for you, I've been loyal this whole time and in the end you did it. You're the cheater." He said. "I know!" I raise my voice. "I don't know what you want me to do. I'm telling you I'm sorry. I'm asking for another chance. I'm not asking you to act like it never happened. I'm asking you to forgive me so we can start over. I'm not saying I deserve, but we've come this far..Please." I said. This was going to be my last attempt. I won't continue to beg or force him into something, especially if he'll only be angry toward me the entire time, but I trust him and I know he feels too much for me to let me go like this, because if it were me I couldn't let him go either. "We can start over, but as friends first." He concluded. That wouldn't work. We're not just friends. We never were. You can't go from what we were to just friends. You just can't. "You sure you can do that?" I asked. "No, but I'm not letting you in again that easily." Before I could argue he started to back away. "Don't fück this up." And then he turned to leave. What did I really just do? I sighed. He was going to be hard to get. I knew it. I still couldn't believe he cried. Just seeing that made me feel like I had a great chance. If he can cry in front of me, I've already got him.