Anomalous Lovers.

Peter Pan.

The three days seemed to go by faster than I had thought and before I knew it, I was up at 7 sitting in bed and preparing for a funeral.  Time sped by as I sat in bed not moving. I felt numb. There were two soft knocks against my door before Myra stepped in. "We have to be ready in 30 minutes." She spoke softly. I nodded. These were our first words to each other in an entire week. "I'm sorry-" "No, I'm sorry. I've been so selfish and causing all these issues without even spending time with the family..and-and now she's..she's gone." She began to cry hysterically. I stood up to hug her. The both of us cried there. "Don't blame yourself. Okay? This wasn't our fault. We just need to comfort dad and focus on being okay." I whispered to her. She nodded. "Can I join?" The both of us looked up. We were surprised to see Ameer. Ameer is our older brother. He had been in Florida for so long. I hadn't seen him since we moved to Michigan. It felt like forever. He smiled a sad smile and you could tell he had been crying recently. I rushed to him as fast as I could, arms quick to wrap around him and he hugged back almost immediately. All three of us hugged each other. We could feel our intense emotions in the room, but didn't speak just yet. We wanted to savor the moment. "I know you're not staying in those pajamas all day." He spoke up. I chuckled and backed out of our hug session. "I know. I'll get dressed now. Which means you both gotta go." I shooed them out.

I was a wreck during the gathering. I felt as though there was no way that I could actually look at her body again. When my father had asked me to say my "final goodbyes" I just couldn't. I told him I just wasn't comfortable with it. Instead, I sat stood at the back amongst others, awaiting her burial.

All this morning I tried convincing Shawn to come with me just for support and he told me he just couldn't. His excuse being that he "just doesn't do funerals and never has or will". I was pissed, because I could use the support, but I knew I couldn't be too mad. I was pretty sure his true reason was just that he wasn't too comfortable around my dad maybe. They had met that night we waited for the police together and it wasn't too bad, mostly because Shawn was the last thing on his mind. The next time they met was on one of the days I refused to eat. It only lasted for two days, because Shawn came over and comforted me, convincing me that I was special and strong and could get through this especially with his help. I think that's what upset my dad so much and I did feel bad in a way. He was envious that, in his words "some random boy," had to be the one to tell me what he's been telling me all along. I couldn't help that Shawn had an affect on me that my dad just couldn't have. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad. But he's never really there, but Shawn is. My dad had kicked Shawn out that day and so on and so forth. It just would've been nice if he had at least shown up today. Red was here with me though and seeing my long distant family show up was nice, but still terrible that it had to happen this way. It all seemed surreal. It hadn't quite hit me yet. I doubt it will any time soon.

We were supposed to go back to the house after this and eat and what not, but I didn't want to stay in that house. I went home with Red instead and proceeded to ignore any call, or text I received. I was sick of hearing everyone's "condolences". After a while I just turned my phone off and threw it on the love seat.

I was seated cross-crossed on Red's living room floor, searching her television for something to watch, while she was upstairs arguing with Trevor about staying in. "You're supposed to stay home tonight!" She shouted. "Back the hell out of my way, I'm a grown man." He muttered. "Having a kid doesn't make you grown now." She spat. "Who said it does?" He raised his voice. "I'm not in the mood for your childish shît. Move!" He yelled. "No. You're supposed to stay here." She mumbled. "I'm going to a party with Amyra, okay? She needs to get her mind off things." He said. "You should be going over to Cynthia's and trying to figure out why your son has a slight fever." She snapped. He shoved her out of his way and made his way down the steps. He glanced down at me and quickly looked away, leaving the house as fast as possible. A party? Myra thinks a party will solve her problems? I sigh in annoyance and continued to browse the guide. I decided to be a child and tune into The Amazing World Of Gumball. Oddly enough, it calmed me. Red came down the steps, looking heated and ironically, red. She rushed toward the hallway, then paused. "I need a drink. Want something?" She asked. "Sure." I nodded and she continued into the kitchen. She returned with a glass bottle of vodka and cans of some artificial fruity margaritas and juice. I expected some brisk tea, but honestly I actually wanted to drink. I watched as she began to make some drink and realized she was putting an awfully large amount of vodka in more than anything else. I wasn't nervous like I'd usually be. Besides we're behind closed doors. She handed me the drink and then began to take quick and small sips from her's. I stared at the cup. I needed a drink. I grabbed it and gulped down as much as I could. Keep in mind that I don't usually drink and I have good reasons for it too. "Woah, woman chill." She said as I went in for another huge chug. I ignored her protests and went on ahead, throat burning with every gulp. I thought about how my life seemed to be going and began to wish I was a kid again. I wanted to be like Peter Pan. I wanted to be able to make bad decisions and not get judged, because "it's not her fault she's a kid". I wanted to have an effect on people and stay young forever, but in order to do that you'd have to die young, or be Peter Pan and I was doing neither of those two things. After finishing the drink, I took a deep breath. "Where's this party?" I asked her. She looked at me with suspicious eyes. "At Tito's. Why?" She answered. "Let's go." I said. "What? No. I already told Stefan I wasn't going and if I show up and he sees me-" "Tell him you changed your mind." I said. "Mira, I just don't think that's the best idea for you right now. After all this you need to take a break." "Exactly. I need to take a break and let go so come with me." She sighed with pity in her eyes and nodded. "Fine, but you gotta get out of that dress." She mumbled. I changed into a pair of her jeans, which were a bit tight on me and a crop sweater of her's as well.