Aries: i lost my watch at a party. when i went looking for it, i saw some guy stepping on it while harassing a girl. so i walked up to the dude and punched him straight in the nose because no one does that to a girl....NOT ON MY WATCH
Taurus: i couldnt quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me...
Gemini: my friend drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how his mercedes bends
Cancer: my friends bakery burned down last night. now his business is toast..
Leo: i'm close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. i dont know y...
Virgo: what did the cell say to his sister when she stepped on his foot? mitosis
Libra: astronauts got tired of watching the moon rotate around earth for 24hrs, so they just called it a day
Scorpio: when scientist wanted to clone a deer, he brought a doe it yourself kit
Sagittarius: some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped, it was otter chaos
Capricorn: einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.
Aquarius: police were called to a daycare yesterday where a three year old was resisting a rest
Pisces: yesterday i accidentally swallowed some food coloring. the doctor says i'm okay but i feel like i dyed a little inside
